Author's Note: This is a one-shot that refused to leave me alone. It's set in Vehicle Voltron's universe (Emie Mac, that's you!), but it mentions some of our friends from Arus. If you don't follow my longer stories, don't worry about it; just enjoy.
Also, I do realize that the canon name for Commander Hawkins is James. However, when I started writing about these characters 20 years ago, there was no first name, which is how Jonathan - or Jon - came about. I chose to keep the name Jon, not only because I like it and I'm used to it, but also because so many characters simply refer to him as "Hawkins" that I don't view it as an issue.
As always, I own nothing except my characters, and I do this solely for entertainment and stress relief purposes, not profit.
"And in one little moment it all implodes
But this isn't everything you are.
Breathe deeply in the silence
No sudden moves
This isn't everything you are.
Just take the hand that's offered and hold on tight
This isn't everything you are.
There's joy not far from here,
I know there is."
- Snow Patrol, "This Isn't Everything You Are"
The activity on and surrounding the Stellar Ship Explorer had been quiet lately. With Captain Newley back at the Garrison, only Commander Hawkins was left to lead the ship and the Voltron Force. Not that there was much to lead - there hadn't been any word from the Drules in weeks.
"I kinda like this peacefulness, Lis," Captain Jeff Aki told his girlfriend as they strolled the empty hallway leading towards the common area. "There's something to be said for this not-having-to-rush-out-and-form-Voltron business."
Lisa smiled as she pulled her long, shimmering dark hair back into a ponytail. She and Jeff had been together openly for only six months, though they'd been together much longer than that. She was surprised that Jeff was still captain of the Voltron Force after they'd been found out. "I agree. I like the unhurried pace, the relaxed atmosphere...though I do have to say that I'm getting tired of Hutch beating the heck out of poor Marvin." She laughed as the image popped into her head.
"I may not miss the stress, but you want to know what I really miss? Food." Jeff thought about Sammy's dinner from earlier in the evening. The meal was almost completely inedible, some sort of fish with a brown sauce. Crik and Wolo had taken bets on whether or not it was really fish. "Real food."
"Hmm. I miss real Chinese take-out. With chopsticks." She looked almost delirious at the thought.
"Next time we dock in New York, Lis, we're going to Chinatown. I promise."
Once inside the common area, they surveyed the scene. It was buzzing with energy and excitement, something which was not unusual during long stretches of quiet. The Voltron Force had a tendency to get cabin fever when the action was dead for too long. "Hey! What's going on here?" Jeff asked Ginger as he and Lisa sat down at the bar together.
Ginger looked up from her after-dinner latte. "Well, the rumor mill - and you know that when I say rumor mill, I really mean Hutch and Marvin - has it that Commander Hawkins is acting like a schoolgirl with a crush!"
Jeff and Lisa exchanged a quick glance. "Um...Roommate? Did you just say that Commander Hawkins was acting like -"
"- a schoolgirl with a crush!" The bubbly blond pilot grinned proudly.
"It's true!" Hutch butted in. "Marvin and I saw him earlier! I guess Space Marshal Graham wanted an insider look at what was goin' on in here, so he sent one of his lieutenants to check on things. But the thing is, he sent a woman, and the commander is all mushy around her! It's so funny!"
Jeff's face fell. So did Ginger's and Lisa's.
"Huh? What's wrong, Jeff?" Hutch asked. "I thought you'd be excited that the commander was happy for once in his freakin' life. I mean, the guy's thirty-five years old, you think you'd be happy
for him that maybe he might hook up with a woman for, like, the first time ever."
"I highly doubt that the commander has never hooked up with a woman before, Hutch," Cliff corrected him, sipping a cup of coffee. "Not that I want to discuss his sex life, of course. But if he thinks he's going to do that with the lieutenant, then he's got another thing coming. She's just not available."
Hutch raised an eyebrow. "Why? Do you know her? And if you do, was she as pretty when you knew her as she is now?" He paused, a confused expression coming onto his face. "Hey, wait a second. How do you know who the lieutenant is?"
"There's only one female lieutenant under Space Marshal Graham right now, Hutch," Lisa answered. "She lived on the same floor as us when we were at the Academy. And like Cliff said, she's just not available."
"As in?"
"As in, she's engaged to someone else." Worriedly, she shot Ginger a look. She hoped the two of them - along with Cinda - could find the lieutenant before their commander could talk her into something she might regret.
On the bridge of the Explorer, Commander Hawkins sat in his usual seat, with Space Marshal Graham's lieutenant standing next to him. He felt a lightness in his chest for the first time in ages, probably since the last time they were home in New York, and he didn't doubt that the female next to him was the reason. With her pretty face, chestnut hair, chocolate-brown eyes, and black fingernail polish, she didn't exactly look like the type of student that the Space Marshal would promote to Lieutenant after graduating from the Space Academy, and yet she had been his lieutenant for the past four years. And after spending some time in her company, he could see why Graham was so charmed with her.
"Lieutenant Stensson," he began, choosing his words carefully, "I hope you realize that this is just a temporary quiet. Rarely do the Drules give us peace and quiet for this long of a time frame."
She nodded. "I do realize that, Commander Hawkins. And it's Lenora."
"Hmm?"
"My name, Commander. You may use it. In fact, I'd prefer it if you do." She smiled. "I don't use the title of Lieutenant if I can help it. It doesn't mean much."
"Lenora, then." He looked back over at the girl - she was still a girl, wasn't she? At twenty-five, she was ten years younger than he was, and the same age as many of his Voltron Force members. Yet she looked and acted more mature than her former classmates; she was definitely a woman. "I'd like for you to return the favor and call me Jon."
She shook her head. "You outrank me, Sir. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that."
He drew a deep breath. "As you wish."
Why did he feel like such an idiot around her? She locked eyes with him and he suddenly felt like the ship had given way underneath him. He was floating in space, and all time had stopped. He was dying, he had to be dying, he wasn't breathing...
"Commander? I would like to meet with the members of the Voltron Force, if that's all right with you. I have some friends on the team that I haven't seen since graduation." S he flashed him a dazzling smile, and Hawkins was sure he had never seen such a beautiful woman in his entire life. "I have some letters and packages for them in my quarters."
He nodded. "Of course. Most likely, they're in the common area. And if you need some assistance, I'd be glad to help you with the packages."
"That's very kind of you, Sir. I could probably use the help." Grinning to herself, she muttered, "I don't know what the heck Dalloway put in that package for Cliff, but it can't be anything good..."
He smiled back at her. He couldn't help it; her grin was electric. "In which case, maybe I should take a look at those packages. Come on, let's go get them." He stood to escort her off the bridge, placing an arm gingerly around her shoulder as he did.
Tech Sargeant Sparks lifted his eyebrows at the way the commander was speaking to the lieutenant as the two of them left the bridge for her guest quarters. He couldn't believe that he was flirting with her. Flirting. Commander Jonathan James Hawkins was putting pleasure before business - something he never did - and was flirting shamelessly in front of the entire bridge crew. He found it amusing. Maybe it's about time, he thought briefly before returning to his duties.
When Cliff began explaining the situation to Hutch, as well as several other teammates who just happened to be listening in, he felt as though he might need a drink. "You might remember Sven Holgersson as the navigator for the original Voltron Lion Force, Hutch. He flew Blue Lion."
Hutch looked over at Marvin, and the two of them nodded. "Yeah, I remember hearing something like that."
"He is the lieutenant's fiancé."
Modoch nodded in agreement. "Kelly told me something about that. But wasn't Sven injured early into the mission?"
Jeff nodded. "The information we received from Arus said that Zarkon's witch Haggar sent her cat to attack him first, and then a robeast. He was immediately transported to Ebb, leaving the team to wonder whether or not he would live. Apparently, he did live, though he was in a coma for well over a month."
"When he finally awoke, he was obviously far from healed," Lisa continued. "But from what we know, he was on the road to recovery when Zarkon sent an attack fleet to Ebb. He captured the people who were well enough to work as slaves, and those who weren't..." Her voice trailed off.
"Those who weren't were killed," Ginger finished softly, glancing down at the floor.
"So we don't know?" Rocky asked. He looked over at Chip, his old roommate from the Space Academy. "We don't know if this guy ever lived or not? He was one of our classmates, and I don't even know if he's alive or not?"
"According to my brother Pidge, nobody's seen him or heard from him," Chip answered, shaking his head. "They're pretty sure he's dead, but it's hard to know for sure - it's not like they can just run over to Planet Doom and go looking through slaves."
"Wow, this is a morbid topic," Shannon cracked.
"Yeah, we know," Ginger replied sadly. "Try being friends with the guy, and then tell me how morbid it is."
"So..." Zandee tried to sum up, "you're telling us that the lieutenant is engaged to a guy who may not even be alive anymore? That's kinda ridiculous, isn't it?"
"Well, if you put it that way..." Cinda punched his arm lightly. "You've never seen the two of them together, though, Zan. If you'd seen Len and Sven at the Academy, you'd know that if ever anyone would hold out hope, it'd be Len."
"My name! I heard my name! Who said it?"
Heads whipped around as Lieutenant Stensson approached them in the common area, her arms laden with letters and packages. Commander Hawkins followed, carrying a heavy box in his arms. "Cliff," he called out, "this package is for you."
"Oh my goodness - Len!" Cliff shouted in reply, standing to greet his old friend. As he wrapped his arms around their guest, the commander felt a pang of jealousy surge through his body. Then, with sarcasm dripping from his voice, the Land Team captain smirked, "I can only imagine who sent that package, and what could possibly be in it."
"If it's from your Mate, Cliff," Jeff teased, "it might be illegal."
"Oh, of course it's from Aidan," Lenora told them, laughing. "Come on. I'm dying to see what he put in there. Morgan and I have bets on whether or not he put a blow-up doll in there for you."
"If he did," Cliff snorted, "he's no longer my best Mate."
Once the commander escorted the lieutenant out of the common area in search of a late dinner, the rest of the Voltron Force either exchanged glances or discussed the letters and gifts they'd received. Modoch was beyond thrilled with the letter and photos from his girlfriend, Kelly Asimov. Kelly had also sent a care package to her former roommate, Cinda. Jeff was excited for the visual transmission he'd received from his best female friend, Morgan Feld, saying that she would most likely be teaching the Advanced Navigation class at the Space Academy after graduation and she was still dating David Rackens, no break-ups or arguments involved.
Of course, then there was Cliff's package from Aidan. The heavy box that Commander Hawkins had carried in consisted of a magnum of Johnnie Walker Black Label as well as a liter-sized bottle of Ciroc. On discovering its contents, Cliff loosed a laugh and announced, "Aidan Dalloway is still my best Mate ever."
"You two should get married or something," Rocky laughed. "After all, Aidan does have that long blond hair. You could do worse, Cliff."
"If he keeps this up, I just might," Cliff retorted sarcastically. "Now, who wants to do a shot? It's on Aidan!"
As Voltron Force members came up with empty glasses and coffee mugs for a shot of whisky or vodka, Jeff and Lisa exchanged a serious glance. "Did you see Commander Hawkins with Len?" he asked quietly, attempting not to arouse any further suspicions as to the way the commander was acting.
"How could I miss it?" Lisa whispered back. "Like Hutch and Marvin said, a schoolgirl with a crush."
Cliff, with a knowing wink, poured Ginger an extra amount of Johnnie Walker into her empty latte mug, and then she joined Jeff and Lisa. "I don't like what I'm seeing between the commander and Len," she told them, erasing her worry with a sip of whisky. "Blech. Bombay Sapphire is so much better than this stuff."
Jeff made a face. "Only you would think so, Lemon Drop."
"Shut up, Jeff."
Lisa sighed, then turned back to her roommate. "This isn't good, Gin. I think we may need to get Cinda, and the three of us should have a talk with her."
"You know what might help?" Cinda cut in, coming up behind them. "The Explorer is slated to approach a certain planet in the next two hours. We should let the commander enjoy his time together with her now, and then jump in and steal Len away."
"Who's stealing Len away?" Cliff joined their circle, half-empty Johnnie Walker bottle in hand.
"We are," Ginger answered.
"Oh. From the commander?"
"Do you need to even ask?" Lisa replied.
Cliff shrugged. "Yeah, he did give me a strange look when I hugged her." Suddenly, a wicked grin lit up his face. "Gods, I wonder what my Mate would say if he knew that Commander Hawkins was putting the moves on Len. I think he might die."
As they walked away from the dining area after eating...something...that was a poor excuse for food, Hawkins placed his hand gently on Lenora's shoulder. "Can I interest you in a drink in my chambers?" he asked. "I have a collection of items in there that Sammy doesn't have access to. It would be my way of apologizing for how bad that meal was."
She suppressed a laugh. "Only if it's just a drink, Sir, and not any other certain physical activities that might occur in one's chambers."
He grinned. "Only you would think that, my dear."
"You didn't dispute it."
Smiling, he shook his head. "You're something else, Lenora. And no, it's just a drink. I promise."
He escorted her to the living space nearest to the bridge. His chambers. Very few people had been in there; the commander preferred it that way. His private quarters were a safe haven from the hustle of the Explorer and the problems that inevitably followed the Voltron Force members. He punched in the code to his room on the keypad, and the door slid open.
She stepped in, and as he followed, he locked the door behind them.
Commander Hawkins' quarters were truly a sanctuary on the ship. Lenora felt like she had stepped out of the present day and into a proper eighteenth-century study. The chambers consisted of two rooms: a sitting room and a bedroom, along with a private bathroom adjacent to the bedroom. "Well. This is beautiful."
The sitting room was like a library, done up with mahogany and leather, with a full-sized desk. The bedroom, with its king-sized bed and oak dressers, was dressed in cream and sage colors. "Thank you, Lenora. Not many people have seen it. Only the ones I deem worthy."
She settled into a leather chair. It was a reddish-brown color that complemented the mahogany woodwork and built-in bookcases. "I feel honored that you deem me worthy."
He turned to face his built-in liquor cabinet so she wouldn't see the flush that he knew was spreading on his face. "What can I offer you to drink, my dear? I have scotch, whisky, brandy, cognac, bourbon, vodka...what would you like?"
"I'm afraid I don't drink much of the hard stuff. I like vodka on occasion, but normally I drink wine."
"Do you drink champagne?"
"Of course. Well...mostly the ones from California."
He turned to her to smile. "That's not real champagne, my dear."
She laughed. "I know, Sir. But I can't afford the real deal. I don't make an awful lot of money as a lieutenant."
"Hmm. Well, let me remedy that, at least for the time being. I love champagne, so I try to keep a few decent bottles in here - Ruinart, Pommery, Moët, Clicquot. Though the Clicquot is my personal favorite."
"Whichever you'd prefer is fine by me."
He removed the bottle of Veuve Clicquot from the wine fridge and popped the cork. He poured the contents into two matching Riedel champagne flutes and brought them over. Then he handed a flute to her before sitting down in the matching leather chair across from her. "I'd really prefer if you'd call me Jon, Lenora." He clinked his glass with hers. "Cheers."
"You are going to make me blush, Sir, and that's not an easy thing to do." She brought the flute to her lips and took a sip. "Wow, this is delicious."
He smiled. "I'm glad you like it. As I said, it's my favorite. " He took a sip and felt a little more relaxed. "So tell me, how did you get the name Lenora?"
"My mother is a researcher, and she's infatuated with reading and writing. She told me that when she was pregnant with me, she was really obsessed with the works of Edgar Allen Poe. She named me after 'the lost Lenore' in The Raven." A saddened expression suddenly washed over her face, and she took a quick sip of champagne.
"What's wrong?"
There was sadness in her chocolate-brown eyes. "She's the reason I'm here right now. My mother was diagnosed earlier this week with colon cancer. Stage four. The doctors at Lenox Hill Hospital offered her a variety of treatments, but they basically said that nothing would cure her, that any treatment she did would only buy her time." She brought her fingertips to the space right underneath the hollow of her throat and rubbed it absent-mindedly. It drove Hawkins mad. "Space Marshal Graham wanted me to see my friends on the Explorer. He figured it would be something nice for me to do before I buckled down to take care of my dying mother."
The commander placed his hand on her knee. "Oh, Lenora. I am so sorry."
"Yeah, me too. The worst part is that I'm not married, and my father's been dead for eleven years, so she's afraid that I'll be all alone when she dies. She wants to do the treatments, but I don't want her to punish her body on my behalf." She rubbed the same spot on her chest again, and Hawkins thought he might lose it. "I'll be okay. I'll miss her, but I'll be okay. I just don't want her to suffer."
"I know." He began to stroke her knee soothingly. At least, he hoped it was soothing, and that she didn't find it creepy or desperate. "My parents were killed in an accident when I was four years old. I haven't seen my parents in thirty-one years."
"That's terrible. I'm sorry to hear that."
The commander nodded. "Thank you. But it made me who I am, in a strange way. My uncle - my father's younger brother - gained custody of me and raised me. Well, he and a series of nannies and housekeepers, of course." He smiled as he took another sip of champagne. "My uncle was a self-proclaimed playboy and the consummate businessman at the same time. He never married, and he ran a very, very successful business...I guess one would call it a steel mill. He owned the company that made the parts for, as well as assembled, nearly every ship owned by the Galaxy Garrison, including this one."
"Impressive."
"Indeed. That was what made me want to attend the Space Academy. I always wanted to be a part of what my uncle literally helped build." He gave her a wry smile and tossed back the last of his champagne. "He died two years ago. It was his lifestyle that did him in - too much stress, too many sexual partners, too many indulgences with drink and drugs. His heart simply couldn't keep up with him anymore. I was shocked when I found out that he'd named me as his sole heir. His will stated that he thought of me as his son, not his nephew, and he left me everything."
"Incredible."
He stood to refill their champagne flutes. "My inheritance included a triplex on Fifth Avenue, a two-bedroom condo in Boston, a three-bedroom condo in Las Vegas, and a one-bedroom pied-a-terre in Paris."
She merely blinked. "What about the company?"
He shrugged apologetically as he expertly poured the last of the champagne into the two flutes. "I sold it. I didn't want to, but I had no other choice. I'm always on the Explorer, and besides, I knew nothing about the business, nothing about the company." He sat back down in his chair and handed her the champagne flute. "My lawyer and accountant both told me I made a staggering amount of money in the sale."
"Define staggering."
"Hmm." He looked thoughtful, trying to remember. "I know it was in the high ten figures, but I don't remember the exact amount."
She nearly spit out her champagne. "Would you like a roommate?" she joked. "'Cuz if you would, just say the word, and I will be more than happy to vacate my studio in the Valley and relocate to Fifth Ave."
Shooting her a half-smile, he replied, "Don't tease me if you don't really mean it, Lenora. It's not nice." He leaned over to turn on the music in his surround-sound stereo system. The speakers were nearly invisible in the walls, and the volume was low. "Do you dance, Lieutenant Stensson?"
"Do I dance, Commander Hawkins? Well, I do if I've got enough Veuve Clicquot in me."
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Do you really?"
"I might."
"I'd like to find out."
She knocked back the last of the champagne in her flute, then held out her hand. The commander stood and took it. He wasn't much of a dancer either, but he wouldn't turn down the opportunity. He didn't know what he felt for this woman, or why. He only knew that he was a different man in her presence, and he didn't ever want to let her out of his arms.
She didn't recognize the music playing, but she didn't care, and moved gracefully enough to it. She and Sven used to dance together like idiots back at the Academy, and she hadn't danced with anyone since. It felt...nice.
As they continued their dance, she laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes. He didn't smell like Sven, but he still smelled good. Really good. It would be too easy to get carried away with him. She hadn't felt the touch of the man she loved in four years, and no one had loved her since. The commander's arms around her waist, his hand on her shoulders or back, or on her knee, or touching her arm...it all felt too good. She found herself wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.
The hard knock at his door interrupted the moment.
"You've got to be kidding me," the commander muttered.
Lenora gathered her wits about her and released him. "You know what? That's probably my cue to leave, Sir. Especially if your crew is looking for you."
"Nonsense. I 'll be right back." Hawkins moved towards the door and slid it open. In the hallway outside, three of his Voltron Force members stood waiting: Ginger, Lisa, and Cinda.
"Good evening, Commander," they said in unison.
He crossed his arms. "Why don't I trust the lot of you?"
Lisa shot him an exaggerated smile. "Commander, we need to steal Lieutenant Stensson from you. Right now."
"What?"
Ginger poked her head past the doorway. "LEN! You need to get out here and join us NOW!"
To the commander's shock, the lieutenant came up behind him, passed him, and timidly stepped out into the hallway. Shooting him an apologetic look, she offered, "I told you I had a feeling that was my cue to leave, Sir."
"But..."
She placed her hand on his upper arm reassuringly. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, first thing. I promise. Good night, Commander Hawkins."
He sighed, disappointed. "Good night, Lenora."
He watched in amusement as his Voltron Force members pulled her down the hallway. Then, with another sigh, he returned to his chambers and began to clean up the empty bottle of champagne and the stemware. As he picked up her champagne flute, he smiled. As much as he - and apparently, his Voltron Force - didn't want to admit it, he'd found his match. Somehow, he knew without a doubt that he'd met the woman that he was going to spend the rest of his life with.
"Oh my God, Len!" Ginger yelped as they dragged the lieutenant as far away from the bridge - and therefore the commander's chambers - as possible. "Commander Hawkins was totally hitting on you!"
"No he wasn't. A drink. It was just a drink." The lieutenant was in denial.
Cinda shot her a skeptical glance. "Oh, really? So tell us, what did the commander serve you in his chambers? Besides himself on a platter, of course."
"Champagne. We had champagne."
Lisa, Ginger, and Cinda exchanged a three-way glance. "He served you champagne?" Lisa repeated, incredulous. "Now, Len, I understand that the commander came into a pretty hefty inheritance a couple of years ago, but believe me when I tell you that no man would serve a woman he just met expensive champagne if he wasn't trying to weasel his way into her panties."
"Good Lord!" Lenora cried out, exasperated. "He wasn't trying to get into my panties! Geez, if all it took was a drink or two, don't you think Aidan would've succeeded in that ages ago?"
"Oh, good old Aidan," Ginger responded. "Well, believe it or not, we have an actual reason to drag you outta the commander's chambers besides making sure you didn't end up in his bed. We wanted you to see something."
Lenora shrugged. "Fine."
Without another word, the girls dragged her to the floor's observation deck. "We wanted you to get a good look at this, Len," Lisa told her softly as they pushed her towards the window. "Just so that you remember, this is everything you are."
Lenora caught her breath and held it as she stared out of the window and at the glowing planet in front of her. It was a beautiful planet, yes, but with a history of sorrow behind it - nearly all of its inhabitants had been captured by Planet Doom and either made into slaves or killed. The planet of lost healers, reduced to one word: Ebb.
Her lips tightening into a straight line, she pulled the collar out from around her neck and lifted the chain up in one smooth motion. Her necklace, the one which held the white-gold cross that was her graduation gift from her mother. The one which was strung through Sven's platinum Tiffany wedding band. As she gripped the ring, warm from laying against her bare skin, she asked, "Did you girls do this to me on purpose? So I wouldn't forget Sven? Because I never forget Sven. Never. Not one single day goes by that I don't think about him."
Cinda placed her arms around Lenora's shoulders. "We're sorry, Len," she apologized gently, "but we miss Sven, too. And seeing you with Commander Hawkins...well, for us, it's just not right. You two don't look right together. You wouldn't look right with anyone except your beloved."
Lenora bit her tongue and stayed silent, staring out the window at Ebb. Finally, she spoke up, never taking her eyes off the planet. "You don't know the hell my life has been for the last four years. Always wondering, always worrying. Always. I've been dealing with his absence one day at a time. Some days, I don't think I'm gonna make it. And some days, I'm proud that I've made it this far. But in the end, I've been living my life on hold, waiting for him to come back, and I don't know if he ever will."
Her friends looked at her for a moment. "So," Ginger began, "what you're saying is, macking on the commander is a good way to make up for that? Really? 'Cuz I don't think Commander Hawkins will ever love you as much as Sven did. Or does. Or whatever."
Lisa pinched her roommate.
"Ow!"
"You're not helping, Gin 'n Juice."
Lenora returned her necklace to its proper place beneath her uniform's collar. "You know what, ladies? I think I'm gonna turn in for the night. Good night, Loves." She finally tore her eyes away from Ebb and gave her friends each a quick hug before heading back to her guest quarters.
"Well, that didn't go as well as I'd hoped," Cinda sighed once the lieutenant was out of earshot.
Lisa nodded in agreement. "I think I should ask Jeff to talk to her. He's Morgan's other best friend - maybe he can say something better than we can."
Ginger stared at her friend even after she disappeared from sight. She had no idea if she would be okay, but she knew that if anyone could pull through a tough spot, it was Lenora Stensson.
Cliff was still sipping the whisky in his shotglass, standing with Modoch, Shannon, Rocky, and Jeff as they watched Marvin and Hutch play cards and, subsequently, beat each other. "You know, part of me wants to say this is getting old," he sighed, watching as his subordinates threw punches at each other, "but the other part of me wants to say it never gets old."
"You're a man conflicted, Cliff," Modoch joked.
Shannon's eyes lit up as the girls entered the common area. It was common knowledge that he had a crush on Ginger, but he never acted on it. "Girls! How did it go?"
Lisa shook her head as she approached them, moving to Jeff's side. "Not so well, I'm afraid," she responded, leaning her head against her boyfriend's shoulder. "She stared at Ebb for a few moments, then fed us some line about how she and Commander Hawkins were just drinking champagne together."
"Wow, champagne? He was so trying to get her on her back," Rocky cracked.
Ginger rolled her eyes. "Crude, Rocky. But you're right - we pretty much told her the same thing."
Cinda shook her head. "This is terrible," she mused. "She looked so sad. She just stared at Ebb and held Sven's ring and told us that she's been living her life on hold for the last four years. And that she thinks about Sven every day, but she doesn't know if he's ever going to come back."
"He might not," Jeff mumbled quietly.
Lisa pinched him for his comment.
"Ow! Hey!"
"Wow, Lis, you are on the warpath today," Ginger deadpanned. "It's okay, Jeff, she did the same thing to me." She looked over at her roommate and oldest friend. "And I thought you were supposed to be the nice one out of all of us, too."
"I am the nice one," Lisa countered. "I just get mean when I'm worried about a friend." She looked up at her boyfriend pleadingly. "Jeff, will you go talk to her? Please?"
"Dude, you all know that I am the last one who should be -"
"And you and Len are Morgan's two closest friends. I figured that if we couldn't get through to her, then you can." She raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Please? If not for her, then will you do it for me?"
Jeff sighed. "I hate my life."
As he walked off towards the exit, he distinctly heard Rocky mention something about him being whipped. Being as hot-headed as he was, he decided to store his emotions in check for now, and blast him for it later. He had more important things to do right now.
Hawkins knew he should have been sleeping, but it was pointless. He had never slept well. In fact, if he could remember correctly, the last time he slept well throughout the night was the night before his parents were killed. It was depressing, but it honed him into the commander he'd become. Commanders shouldn't need much sleep, he'd reasoned with himself a long time ago. He viewed his bed as just a decorative piece where he took an occasional nap.
Sitting at his desk, he looked over a stack of paperwork from the Garrison. Space Marshal Graham was very good at his job, but he had too many ideas and too many meeting minutes jotted down. Hawkins always tried his hardest to keep up, but when the Drules were attacking, the paperwork would fall by the wayside. Now, in a time of quiet, he had no excuse.
His mind wasn't on the reading, though. He couldn't focus - as he stared out into the sitting area, all he could think about was the lieutenant. Why is she doing this to me? he asked himself. And why am I letting her?
He had never, ever told anyone about his parents. As far as anyone on the Explorer - save Captain Richard Newley - knew, his uncle was his father, and he'd never let any semblance of a figure from the sale of the company slip through his lips. How could he have just trusted this woman right off the bat and told her all of that private information?
He brushed her out of his memory and resumed his reading. Yet her lush lips, sparkling eyes, and black fingernails continued to infiltrate his mind until he thought he would go mad.
Jeff had a hunch about where he'd find the lieutenant's guest room. He knew that his commander - and Captain Newley, before he got recalled to the Garrison - never trusted any guests on the Explorer, not even if they were sent by Graham himself, and therefore placed them in guest quarters that the Voltron Force referred to as the "Cell Block."
The "Cell Block" was in the belly of the ship, far enough away from both the bridge and the mecha, but near enough for the commander to keep an eye on its occupants. Being the captain of the Voltron Force, Jeff had gotten the override code for these rooms out of Sparks one night in exchange for a couple of shots of Patrón Silver. He thanked his lucky stars for Morgan - she'd been the one to send him the bottle of tequila.
There were only six rooms, and Jeff punched the override code into the keypad outside each door. Once he had access, he stuck his head into each room and called for the lieutenant. It was in the third room he checked that he found her.
Her room had one large floor-to-ceiling window, and she laid on the floor in front of it, facing the vastness of space. She didn't acknowledge the door being opened, she just stared out the window silently, not moving.
"Len? Are you okay?"
He watched as she placed her left hand on the window in front of her, her black fingernails gently tapping the glass. As his gaze traveled down the length of her slender fingers, he realized that she was wearing a man's wedding band around her ring finger. "Oh, Len."
Closing the distance between them, he realized that she was staring out at Ebb. She wasn't breathing, but he noticed a tear spilling out onto her face. It scared him. Lenora Stensson didn't cry.
Swiping the pillow off her bed, Jeff came up behind her on the floor. Easing his body down behind hers, he pulled her in and tucked the pillow underneath their heads. "You know," he mused, trying to make a joke of it, "it's a good thing I got plenty of practice doing this when Morgan was dating and breaking up with Keith. How the heck else would I know how to comfort a broken-hearted woman otherwise?"
Through her tears, she smiled.
"Let me take that ring. You're gonna lose it." He pulled the ring off her finger and slid it onto his own. It was even too big for his own hand. "Blast it. The Viking has big fingers. Oh, and if he ever saw me like this - cuddling with you, wearing his wedding band - he'd have my head on a pike. So thank you very much for this. I expect you to pay for my funeral."
"That's if he's even alive, Jeff."
"You don't think he is?"
"I don't know." She sniffed. "You know, at graduation, if someone had said to me, Four years from now, you're not even gonna know if he's alive, I would have denied it. I would have said that we'd be married." She reached around for Jeff's hand and touched the ring. "This is obviously not how I thought we were gonna end up."
"No," Jeff agreed. "If you took any one of us from our floor, nobody thought this would be how it played out. Not Rocky, and not Chip, either."
"Oh, Chip. I should spend some time with him before I leave. Us systems analysts need to stick together."
"You're a lieutenant now, not a tech sargeant."
"True. But you never forget your roots."
"No. I suppose not." He squeezed her. "And that's why you're having such a hard time dealing with Sven. I know he was everything to you."
"He's everything that I was. But he's not everything that I am now."
"Fair enough."
She wanted to say more to him, she really did. But Jeff knew her too well. So did Ginger, Lisa, Cinda, and Cliff. And, in a way, Chip and Rocky. She needed to talk to someone who didn't know Sven, someone who wouldn't answer her based on how he or she felt about her with Sven as a couple. Her friends and former floormates were too close to the situation, too biased. She wanted an honest opinion.
Despite all of her friends' thoughts on the commander and his intentions towards her, she enjoyed his company. It was nice to talk to someone who didn't judge her based on who she used to be or as half of a couple with Sven. He saw her through fresh eyes. And if he developed feelings for her, well, she would deal with those feelings as they came up. She loved Sven, but she couldn't live her life on hold for him. Not when her mother was dying.
But she couldn't say that to Jeff. So she stayed on the floor with him, eventually drifting off to sleep with him behind her. It had been a long time since she'd spent the night in someone's arms, and even though he wasn't Sven, she relished it. Jeff was her friend, and she loved him as a brother.
Jeff, for his part, found himself feeling unbelievably sad for his friend as he fell asleep.
Hawkins didn't bother with breakfast. If all it consisted of was powdered eggs and synthetic orange juice, he'd pass. He promised himself that whenever they finally docked back in New York, he would go out for a real Sunday brunch, complete with adult beverages. Then, before he even realized where his mind was going, the thought slipped in: Perhaps Lenora would like to join me.
He chided himself. He had to stop thinking about her. This was getting ridiculous.
Trying to distract himself, he joined Sparks at his usual position in front of the computer. "Anything new this morning, Tech Sargeant?" he asked, looking over the day's planned coordinates. "Any sign of the Drules?"
Sparks shook his head. "No, Sir. There's no trace of them anywhere. We're still in neutral territory."
"Is there any trace of an uncolonized planet, then?" a new voice spoke up.
Hawkins tried to keep the smile off his face, but it was useless. "Good morning, Lenora," he greeted her without looking up.
"Good morning, Sir." She stopped next to him and looked down at Sparks, placing her hand on his shoulder. "What systems check are you running right now?"
Sparks smiled. "Spoken like a true tech sargeant, Lieutenant Stensson."
"What do you think I am, Tech Sargeant? I am a systems analyst at my core, after all."
Sparks looked up at the commander and winked. "Oh, I like this girl, Commander. She's sharp. Ask Graham if we can keep her, okay?"
"Oh, Sparks, you flatter me." She rustled his red hair with her black fingernails. Hawkins bit his lip as he watched - he wished that she was touching him instead. What was this woman doing to him? He had never been like this before meeting her. Looking up at the commander, she continued, "I'd like to stay here, believe me. But unfortunately, I have to leave tomorrow."
Hawkins cleared his throat. "Lenora, what's on your agenda today?" He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.
"Oh, I've been promised a tour of the Voltron mecha. And then I promised Chip I'd spend time with him. Us systems analysts, we need to stick together."
"Here's to that," Sparks cut in cheerfully. "I have half a mind to ask you out for a drink after my shift, Lieutenant Stensson. Depending on what Sammy's got on tap, of course."
"Of course. And I might take you up on that, Tech Sargeant Sparks." She was acutely aware of the jealousy radiating off Commander Hawkins, but decided to ignore it. "But for now, I'm waiting for my friends to grab me. I've been promised a tour of the hangar."
"Oh, you have?" Hawkins shot out suddenly. "Who promised you that?" He looked over at her for the first time since she came onto the bridge. He noticed the circles underneath her chocolate-brown eyes and the crooked way she was holding herself upright. "Oh, dear. Did you sleep well last night, Lenora?"
She shook her head. "Not really, no."
"Do you need a better bed? I can change your room, if you'd like."
She shook her head. "I appreciate the offer, Commander, but it has nothing to do with that. Thank you, anyway." She looked into his eyes and smiled. His knees felt like they wanted to give way underneath him, but he willed himself to stay strong and upright. "And it was Jeff who offered a guided tour of the hangar. Don't worry, I won't report back to the Garrison. It's merely for my own curiosity, nothing more."
"If you were so curious," Hawkins asked her, "why didn't you ask me for a tour of the hangar?"
Shooting him a sly grin, she replied, "I didn't know if you would grant me a tour, Sir. I figured that, since Captain Aki flew one of the mecha, he would be willing to do that for me." She shrugged at him. "I hope that's not a problem."
The words were out before he even knew what he was saying. "There can only be a tour of the hangar and the mecha if I am present. I insist on coming with you."
She gave him her best benign smile. "As you wish, Sir."
"This is getting bad," Jeff told Lisa as they walked the hallways alone, gripping hands.
"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows. "Are you still referring to the situation between Len and Commander Hawkins?"
"I am."
"Oh, dear."
Jeff sighed. "Now, you know I'm not the type to shoot down love, Lis. I mean, blast it, if I was, I wouldn't be holding your hand right now. But the commander is acting like Aidan right now. He is freakin' obsessed with Len. He even came on the tour of the hangar with us. It's like he can't leave her alone."
"I noticed." Lisa's voice was a mixture of worry and amusement.
"I think you know I spent last night on the floor of her room with her. I wonder, would the commander try to beat me up if he knew about that?"
She smiled at him. "Funny how you ask about how he might take it, but you don't ask about how I might take it."
He shot her a lopsided grin. "Well, I figured that if you had a problem with it, you'd let me know."
Even though she shook her head, she couldn't help the grin that spread over her face. "You're something else, you know that, Jeffrey Aki?" she asked. Before he could answer, she leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips.
He placed his free hand behind the back of his head. "I've been told that from time to time."
She leaned her head against his shoulder and enjoyed a quiet moment with him. She decided not to worry about her old friend and the commander. Whatever happened, happened. The way she figured, life had a funny way of sorting itself out.
His chambers were quiet. There were no transmissions or visuals, no music to distract him. He was still in uniform, but it was late, and he figured that he should probably change. But into what? Pajamas were pointless -he hardly slept. He'd worked over eighteen hours on ninety minutes of sleep, and he still wasn't tired.
The knock on the door distracted him. As he answered it, he couldn't help the happiness and excitement that shot through his veins, or the smile that turned up the corners of his lips.
"Good evening, Sir."
"Well. Good evening, Lenora."
In the hallway, she held out a bottle of cabernet sauvignon - the current release of Hess' Allomi Vineyard. "I thought I might return the favor, Sir. You provided your favorite champagne last night, so I figured I'd provide my favorite red wine tonight." She smiled shyly, averting her eyes. "I thought maybe I'd share it with my girlfriends, but I realized I really wanted to share it with you. You'll appreciate it more than they will."
"I'd like that. Please, come in."
He locked the door after she stepped in, and he drew a deep breath as he looked her over. She was dressed in civilian clothes, dark-washed jeans with a black long-sleeved ballet top. There were black leather ballet flats on her feet and a silver necklace with three pendants around her neck. Her chestnut hair was loose, falling straight past her shoulders. She looked beautiful.
"Commander, why are you still in uniform?"
"I'm always in uniform." He retrieved two Riedel wineglasses meant for red wine, and broke out his corkscrew. "Why are you even here, my dear? You should be sleeping."
"I could say the same for you, Sir."
"I don't sleep, Lenora."
She glanced towards his bedroom. "So that beautiful bed is just for show?"
"Mostly." He poured the wine into the wineglasses and inhaled. "This smells delicious. You like red wine best?"
"I do. Usually cabernet. But my friends laugh and say I'll drink anything that comes from a grape, Ciroc vodka included."
He handed her the wineglass, noting how she crossed her legs towards him in the leather chair. He gazed at her full lips as he sat down in the chair next to her. His eyes never left her as he took a sip. "This is very good. It rivals in complexity some of the Bordeaux I've had from France that cost almost four figures."
"This is nowhere near even three figures, Sir. Like I said before, being a lieutenant doesn't exactly pay very well." She sipped at her glass, locking her eyes with his as she did. He swore that she was going to be the death of him.
"Well. Thrifty and delicious. You, my dear, are quite the little wine connoisseur, aren't you?"
She decided to tease him a little bit. "It balances out the champagne connoisseur in you, Commander. Let's face it, we're good together. You need me."
He didn't need to answer with words - the expression on his face said it all. For a moment, Lenora wondered if she'd gone too far, if she'd teased him past the breaking point. Was it even possible for this man to fall in love with her? Did he really need her?
Finally, he replied, "You're right, Lenora. I do need you."
His confession was at once thrilling and frightening. Seeing the mixed emotions in her eyes, he eased off. "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, my dear. All I know is that my life has been much different since you came aboard the Explorer. I couldn't tell you why. All I know is that you fascinate me, with your black nail polish and your wine bottle and your -" he dropped his voice to almost a whisper "- dancing."
She placed her half-empty glass of wine down on the table between their chairs, feeling emboldened by the wine. "Care to dance again, Commander? This time, I have a feeling we won't be interrupted."
"Lieutenant Stensson, if you are seducing me..."
"I am not, Commander Hawkins. It's just that I liked having you as a dance partner last night, and I'd like to have a repeat of it before I return home tomorrow." She shot him a pained expression. "Of course, if you'd rather not..."
He leaned over to turn the stereo on. Just like that, soft music poured into his sitting room, the volume low enough for them to carry on a conversation. "In time, my dear," he replied, standing up to refill his glass. "Would you like me to top off your glass?"
"That would be nice."
Hawkins brought the wine bottle back over and refilled their glasses. As he sat back down, he turned the bottle around to read the back label. "Napa Valley," he murmured to himself. "Flavors of plum and black cherry. Hmm. I'll have to remember this wine. It's very good, and now that I know it's your favorite, I should keep it in stock."
"I told you it's good." She took a long sip, then swirled the wine around in her glass. "So are you telling me that you want to keep it in stock in case I come to visit again?"
"In case?" he teased her back. "I already know you'll come back to visit."
"And how do you know that?"
"Watch. You'll miss me." He smirked at her, then took a sip. "You'll miss my company, you'll miss sitting here drinking wine with me...you'll miss me, all right."
She looked thoughtful for a moment, gazing into her wineglass. "You're right. I am going to miss you, Commander."
"Jon."
She shook her head. "Not until I'm somewhere in your league, Sir. Right now, I'm only a lieutenant."
"Fine. I suppose there's no use in arguing with you over that." He placed his wineglass down. "This song is particularly good, Lenora. Care to dance?"
She nodded. "Let's."
The following morning, Lenora's eyes opened to a room she was unfamiliar with. She was tucked underneath a sage-green comforter, fully dressed with the exception of her ballet flats on the floor. Turning over, she noted the man dressed in full uniform, fast asleep on top of the comforter next to her.
Commander Hawkins.
Had she slept next to Commander Hawkins all night? Oh, the girls were never going to let her live this one down.
He stirred in his sleep, rolling over towards her. As he bumped up against her, his eyes shot open. "What time is it?" he wondered aloud, lifting himself up onto his forearms. Then, looking down at her, he smiled sheepishly. "Good morning, Lenora."
"Good morning, Sir." She blinked. "Would you care to fill me in on why I'm still here?"
"You were the one who fell asleep in the chair." He grinned fondly. "We were dancing. You started to fall asleep against my shoulder, then you woke yourself up and sat back down in the chair, only to fall asleep again. It was adorable."
She felt horrifying embarrassment sweep through her veins. "So you put me in your bed?"
"It was better than dragging you back down to the guest quarters. Easier for me, too." He looked over at the clock. "Oh, my. Six hours. I cannot believe I slept for six hours straight."
"Doesn't happen much?"
"Doesn't happen at all. I don't sleep."
"Apparently, you sleep if I'm in bed with you," she teased. Then, suddenly, the playful expression on her face turned to panic. "Oh my God. Last night...we didn't...I didn't...did I? Did we? Oh, my God." She darted upright, nervously pulling her messy hair into a hasty ponytail.
"Relax, Lenora." It was his turn to enjoy teasing her. "We did nothing except sleep next to each other." Then, leaning in so that his lips were hardly more than a breath away from hers, he told her quietly, "Believe me when I tell you that I want you to be fully awake to enjoy it when we sleep together."
"When we sleep together, Commander? Don't you think that's a little presumptuous?"
"Not at all."
She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stepped into her shoes. "A man with confidence. I like that. Synd du vil ikke komme inn mine truser."
"What?"
"It's Norwegian, Commander. I used to speak it very well." She winked at him before walking around to his side of the bed.
"And why would you know how to speak Norwegian?"
"I'll let you figure that one out for yourself." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for everything, Commander. I will miss you. Really and truly, I will miss you. It has been a pleasure to be onboard the Explorer and spend time with you."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've enjoyed having you onboard. Though I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with myself after you leave."
"Maybe try to sleep?"
"Doubtful."
She turned away from him. "I'll let myself out, Sir. See you in the hangar."
He followed her out the door with his eyes, beginning to feel sick at the thought of her not being on the ship.
Cinda, Ginger, and Lisa were enveloped around the lieutenant in some sort of group hug that reminded Jeff of a football tackle. "Geez," he mused, "isn't it every guy's fantasy to be the lone male in the middle of an all-girl sandwich?"
"It is," Ginger retorted. "Chip! Get over here!"
As the four girls dragged the systems analyst into their embrace, the onlookers smiled. "Well, at least Chip gets to live out the dream," Rocky laughed. "Lucky duck."
Cliff sighed. "Oh, Len, I'll miss you," he told her, drawing her into a hug. "It was so good to see you, even if it was just for a couple of days. Send Aidan and Kelly my regards, and make sure to thank my Mate for the alcohol. Just don't tell him the Johnnie Walker's almost gone."
"I won't. And I'll miss you too, Cliff. It was good to see you again."
Modoch approached the lieutenant next for a hug. "It was nice to see you again, Lenora," he offered awkwardly, not having been in her class year. "Please tell Kelly how much I love her."
"Will do, Mo. It was nice to see you too."
She scrunched up her face as Jeff approached. "Oh, Jeffie," she sighed, drawing him into her embrace. "Thanks for everything. I miss you already."
"Yeah. I miss you already, too." He thought about the night they'd just spent together on the floor. How could one person have to deal with so much sadness and loss? "Please send my love to Morgan, and tell her I'm happy that she's finally getting lucky in the romance department. Tell her I can't wait to meet this David fool when we get back to New York."
She grinned. "You're awful."
"Yeah, I've heard that before."
Finally, Lenora approached Commander Hawkins. He looked like he was trying to hide his hurt behind a mask of stoicism. "Sir, thank you for having me onboard the Explorer. I will report back to Space Marshal Graham and let him know that you are doing an exacting job on your mission."
"Thank you, Lenora - er, Lieutenant." He looked around and saw the eyes of his Voltron Force on them. "It's been a pleasure to have you here. I think I speak for all of us here when I say that we will miss you."
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.
"Listen, if you need anything," he whispered to her, "anything at all, you contact me. I will do anything for you to the best of my abilities and resources."
"I know that, Sir," she whispered back. "And I appreciate it. Thank you."
"Good luck with your mother."
"Thank you. I'll need it."
With a final, flourishing wave, she stepped into her transporter. The hatch closed behind her and the Explorer's hangar door opened, allowing her little ship to take off, headed back for Earth. Hawkins felt his heart drop as she flew away. He knew that she was someone special, and he would not meet anyone else like her.
"Well, that's that, then," Jeff said wistfully. "It's back to business as usual."
As much as Hawkins didn't want to admit it, the captain of the Air Team was right.
Later that evening, Hawkins returned to his chambers alone. He just wanted peace and quiet after the last few days on the Explorer. Not that he really wanted peace and quiet - he would have given anything for the lieutenant to be in his quarters again, drinking wine and talking and laughing and dancing.
He had to admit it to himself: he was crazy about her. Either that, or he was crazy for thinking that she was the woman he would spend the rest of his life with. How did he even know that? How could he even think that about a woman he'd only known two or three days?
Moving over to the liquor cabinet, he poured himself a generous draught of Courvoisier, his drink of choice, and took a sip. Feeling his nerves calm, he sat down behind his desk and picked up the summary of findings from the daily systems analysis scan. Blast it, everything reminded him of Lenora. She'd spent less than three days on his ship and already he saw her in everything. He was definitely crazy.
With the summary in his hands, he began to skim over the paperwork when his intercom chimed. "Commander," Sparks alerted him, "we have a communication from the Garrison. Would you like to come to the bridge, or will you receive it in your quarters?"
"Transfer it to my quarters, please."
"As you like."
Ten seconds later, his viewing screen lit up with Space Marshal Graham's face. Hawkins stood and saluted, then sat back down behind his desk. "Space Marshal. What can I do for you? Did Lieutenant Stensson make it home safely?"
"She did, Commander." He shot him an amused glance. "I see that you, much like nearly every other male in my department, have fallen prey to the lieutenant's charms."
"She's very pleasant to work with, Sir."
"Yes. Yes, she is." He cleared his throat. "I haven't mentioned this to anyone yet, so I do hope this conversation is private, Commander Hawkins."
"It's private, Sir. We're in my personal quarters."
"Good." The Space Marshal looked over his shoulder to double-check that he was alone. "Jon, I am planning on retiring within the next two years. I haven't said anything yet because I don't want there to be any cutthroat politics or tactics to replace my position."
"Sir, I feel honored that you're trusting me with this information."
"Well, Lenora seemed to like you, Commander. She spoke very highly of you."
She did? "Well, I could speak very highly of her, as well."
"I'm glad you said that, Commander. More than four years ago, I chose her as my replacement as Space Marshal. She doesn't know this yet, but I chose her before she even graduated from the Space Academy. I saw her potential back when she was a student."
"She's a good choice, Sir. She's young, but she's obviously capable."
Graham nodded in agreement. "I am sifting through paperwork now to hire someone as a transitional Space Marshal. I would like someone with more experience to help her transition to Space Marshal once I retire. I have a few leads, but nothing yet. That's all right, though; I'm not retiring for a while yet."
"Well, Sir, I think you've got a fine plan."
"Yes, thank you, Commander Hawkins. I will let you resume your duties aboard the Explorer. Space Marshal out."
When the transmission shut off, Hawkins stood up, clutching his cognac. He moved over to his bedroom and sat down on the side of the bed where, only twelve hours earlier, Lenora had been sleeping. He took a long sip, smiling to himself after he swallowed. He was in disbelief, and even he was amused at himself.
He was in love with the woman who was going to become the next Space Marshal of the Galaxy Alliance.
THE END
Synd du vil ikke komme inn mine truser: "Too bad you won't get into my panties."
