Tony really should have seen this coming. Obviously, if he had been in possession of all his mental faculties for the past, oh, eight months he should have been anticipating this moment since forever. The fact that a, he was well… he was tony stark, just the lowest of the low according to the press and a certain redheaded super assassin (yes, Nat you apologized, it still rubs him the wrong way, okay?) and b, he'd been dating Steven Grant Rogers, aka Captain America, aka the pinnacle of all that is good and fair and sweet in the world, should definitely have given him some pointers. He should have figured that at some point in the next few months, days really if Steve was as smart as Tony believed him to be, the dear Captain was going to find out just what a monumental mistake it had been to date Anthony Stark.
The only consolation Tony had was that even his self-loathing, insecure self could never have imagined Steve capable of this. And this was currently playing in all the holographic surfaces that were at Tony's disposal, which were quite a lot of them. This being a video of Steve, in 1940s military regalia no less, that had hit YouTube and become viral in a manner of seconds. What did the video contain? Oh, nothing much, really just… well, just Tony being presented with the evidence that he was too much for even Captain America to handle. "JARVIS, replay that last bit," he said, and pretended his heart didn't feel as if the reactor had gone off and the shrapnel was eating at it slowly. He rubbed it just in case, to make sure he was still breathing, make sure he wasn't in some sort of personal hell.
"As you wish, sir," the AI responded softly. And only Tony would be smart enough to create an AI who could learn emotion.
The video rewound itself to the moment that hurt Tony the most, the moment that made him want to swallow every single goddamn drop of alcohol in the tower, and end his sufferings the best way he knew how, through alcohol poisoning. This was the moment that made Tony think fuck them all, the Avengers will survive without me. The moment in which Steve had grabbed the hand of his arm candy, after Tony had to bail out of whatever function SHIELD had wanted them to participate on, and pull her towards him with that god-awful bashful smile he had given Tony after their first kids. But no, Rogers couldn't leave it at that if he was going to make sure the whole world knew they were over, could he? No, Steve had to go all out. Steve had to pull her close, all five-feet-something, voluptuous, dark haired perfection of a woman, and kiss her right there and then.
Tony closed his eyes and forced himself to swallow. He sat there in his bench, Steve's awful perfection in front of his face, and pretended the moisture in his eye and cheeks was just perspiration from hours of work. He pretended seeing the man he goddamn fucking loved, and wasn't that the ticker Tony Stark could actually fall in love with someone, make out with a complete and random stranger didn't affect him at all.
"Fuck this!" the genius, and fuck he should really renounce that title after this, snarled and swiped violently at the overblown holographs. "JARVIS, initiate lock down sequence iron-red-alpha-nine. Override all access codes, master key MIT-94-13."
"Sir, perhaps you should-"
"NOW!" Tony yelled, his voice hoarse and anguished, and this time his AI complied without any more suggestions. Tony could practically feel the disapproval coming from the computer systems. "And give me some tunes," he added as an afterthought, already moving towards the liquor cabinet, never mind that he'd quit ten months ago. The day he'd realized he was in love with a certain Captain.
Steven Grant Rogers was not, by any definition, a genius nor would he ever be. He was intelligent, that much he knew, and damn good at making plans, but more often than not especially now-a-days, he found himself out of his depth. There were a lot of things he didn't understand. The most important one, at the moment, was the lack of permission to enter his boyfriend's workshop. Steve was, quite frankly, completely baffled as this hadn't happened for over a year. At the third try, wiping sweat out of his forehead after it started stinging his eyes, he tried to get JARVIS to open the door. His bafflement quickly turned into worry when the AI didn't answer him.
Steve knew the genius was in that workshop, he could practically see the walls vibrating because of the music, never mind that the room should have been soundproofed. Biting his bottom lip, the super soldier tried to call for his boyfriend again, knowing it was useless. Dread settled like lead on Steve's stomach, Tony hadn't had a bender nearly as bad as this one in all of their acquaintance. He knew this was a possibility, Pepper had told him, but he'd never seen it happen and was, quite simply, floundering in helplessness.
He didn't know what could have driven his amazing, beautiful, genius partner to such desperation as to make him lock himself from the world. They'd been doing extremely well in the past few months, and yeah they still argued and Tony still sulked from time to time, but they always solved it. It always ended with either one sincerely apologizing, followed by the amazing make-up sex, and a long session of cuddling and reassurances.
"Tony, sweetheart, open the door for me!" he tried calling again. Nothing happened. He wasn't really surprised. He racked his brain for a solution, staring at the ceiling as if JARVIS would physically materialize to aid him. The super soldier raked a hand through his hair, trying to come up with a solution, and after a few tense moments the proverbial light bulb went on and he snapped into action. "JARVIS, emergency code Capsicle-apple pie-08," he muttered, the stupid name still made him blush.
"Of course, Captain," Steve knew he wasn't imagining the relief in the AI's voice. The blacked out glass doors opened for him and he stepped inside the workshop carefully. His tension grew tenfold as his eyes appraised the room. Nothing was in its rightful place except for the armor, motherboards and cables and pieces of machinery he couldn't even name were strewn around the floor, paperwork had been crumpled and littered everywhere, the smell of liquor was completely overpowering, and Steve knew most of the bottles his boyfriend kept in the workshop had either been consumed or broken in a fit of rage. Please, God, let it be the latter, he prayed.
And in the midst of it all, slumped in a black office chair Steve didn't even know he possessed, Tony Stark was glaring daggers at him with a bottle of whiskey hanging loosely from one hand. His eyes traveled over the super soldier's body, his lip curling in rage and his eyes growing angrier by the second. Steve felt his body go colder with each second that passed, he didn't know why or how, but there was a horrifying rage in Tony's eyes and it was all directed at him. he swallowed thickly.
"Never pictured you to be the type to abuse that code like that," and Steve knew the bottle in his hand wasn't the first because the genius' voice was slurred a bit. Tony never got a slur until the third or fourth bottle. Steve was more and more scared by the second.
"You didn't really give me an option. Why didn't you let me in?" he tried to keep his voice steady, but Tony's glare was completely unsettling.
"Could it be because I didn't fucking want you in here?" Tony's control was slipping, Steve could tell in the way his hand tightened on the neck of the bottle and his whole body vibrated minutely. To anyone else, the genius would look mildly irritated, and a little drunk. To Steve, Tony might as well be beating him with his bare hands. He didn't know what to do, the only time he'd seen Tony this angry was when HYDRA had tried to kill him and had come way to close to succeeding for anyone's comfort. Tony had been completely outraged, and he probably would have killed every single HYDRA agent if it hadn't been for the others.
Mentally shaking himself, Steve forced his mind to focus. Tony was taking a long drag of whiskey, waiting for his answer. "You've never kept JARVIS from talking to me before. Not even when-" Steve cut himself off, about to say not even when we hated each other, but the angry glint in Tony's eyes told him he couldn't care less.
"You know," the genius murmured, looking down at the bottle in his hand, "if you weren't happy with me you could have just told me that. You could have ended this… this thing we had with each other. You didn't have to do what you did for me to get it." and now Steve was sure he wasn't imagining the anguish in his boyfriend's voice, the way it shook and grated as if Tony was forcing his words out.
"What makes you think I'm not happy with you?" Steve whispered, his eyes tearing up just a bit at the way his genius looked at the moment. God, but Tony looked totally and completely defeated. They hadn't had a talk like this in months, Steve thought he'd managed to convince Tony that what they had was real the last time they addressed something like this.
Tony ignored his question, instead he raised his head to look directly at Steve, and the hollowed look in his eyes just about sent the super soldier to his knees. "I would have let you go, it would have fucking ripped me apart, but I would have let you go. I would have let you, because I would still have believed you cared about me. At least a little. But this… what you did, Steve, I hope you know I never in a million years would have betrayed you like that."
Steve was unable to form any coherent thought, Tony's face was making it hard for him to breathe, and he felt like he was being frozen again, but this time from the inside out. He worried his heart might fail after this. But it wouldn't have mattered anyway, as Tony kept on going. "I really hoped I would be enough for you, I mean, you're the only person I have ever wanted to try for. You're the only person I lo—" he cut himself off with difficulty, and Steve's heart wrenched painfully again. "Anyway," he finished the bottle in his hand and opened another one, "the tower's yours from now on. You can… do whatever you want with it. I'm officially submitting my withdrawal papers to Fury in the morning. You won't… you don't have to see me again after this. Clearly, you don't want to anyway."
Steve couldn't do anything but sob through his clenched teeth as he moved closer to pull Tony to his chest. But he wasn't given the opportunity; his genius pulled back and curled his lip again. If it weren't for the tears that were unconsciously trailing down his cheeks, Steve would have thought Tony truly hated him.
"I haven't betrayed you, Tony!" the super soldier cried, willing his boyfriend to believe him. It was the wrong thing to say, as Tony snapped his head up and truly laid it on him.
"Don't fucking lie to me, you goddamn cheater! Mr. I-love-you-Tony, Mr. I'll-never-leave-you, Mr. Fucking-trust-me-Tony, you goddamn liar! I trusted you, damn it, I gave you everything! I put everything I have, everything I am in your hands! Even after everything I've been through, after Pepper, after Howard, after goddamn Obi! I gave you everything and you don't even have the balls to tell me we're over before you move onto the next piece of ass?!"
Tony's vulgarity didn't even register in Steve's mind other than to know just how at the end of his rope the other man was. Tony made a point not to swear in front of him, not that the captain had asked him, it was just something the genius did because he cared. But at the forefront of all that, the only thing Steve could hear were the words cheater, liar, and betrayal.
"Tony, baby, please listen to me. I would never betray you! Goddamn it, Tony, you're everything I've ever wished for and more! Sweetheart, you have to believe me!" Steve was not to proud to be, at that moment he was very willing to go down on his knees and beg Tony to just listen to what he was saying.
At his words, Tony slumped down even lower on his chair, and Steve was insanely glad he hadn't tried to get up in his rage. He could clearly see his lover was moments away from collapsing. Tony just looked drained, of energy, of rage, of life as he laid his next command at JARVIS. "Show Rogers the footage from today, see if he can lie to my face with the evidence right in front of him," Steve clenched his fists as the AI silently pulled up one of Tony's screens and the floor just felt like it disappeared from under his feet.
He watched a man who could very easily be his identical twin make out with a glorious woman onscreen, at a function he'd told Tony they needed to attend. Dear God, no wonder Tony had done and said what he had. "JARVIS cut it, just… get it off the screen," when the AI had done what he asked he turned back to Tony. "I can tell you this right now, honey, and I know I can't expect you to believe me. But I love you so, so much, and I would never fuck you over like that. I don't know how, or why, but I will find out what the hell is going on. Please," he moved forward again but Tony got to his feet, eyes enraged and nostrils flaring.
"You goddamn—"whatever else he was going to say was cut off as the alcohol finally took its toll and the genius's eyes rolled back into his head. Steve barely managed to catch him before he hit the floor.
"I'm so sorry this happened to us, now, baby," Steve whispered into Tony's hair as held him closer. He couldn't help the sobs that racked through him as he held his beloved boyfriend to his chest for a few minutes more. Then soldiering on, as Tony was so fond of saying, he gathered the unconscious genius in his arms, asked JARVIS to save everything the other man had working on, and carried him to their bedroom.
After they were both dressed, Tony never fully waking just murmuring equations mixed with Steve's name, the super soldier spooned the other man and pulled the covers over both their bodies. "I love you," he whispered into his lover's ear and was awarded with Tony's soft hum of approval. He promised himself that whoever had created a replica of him was going to pay dearly when he figured out what the hell had happened while he was at SHIELD HQ.
When Steve woke up the next morning at seven a.m, an internal clock issue that Tony always grumbled about, the genius was still plastered to his chest. Steve tightened his arms around the smaller body of his boyfriend and gave the back of his neck a light kiss. He knew what they were in for when the other man woke, he knew the shouting match that would ensue, the rage and pain in Tony's eyes, but he also knew nothing he said would matter until he found proof that it hadn't been him at the stupid function.
With a tired groan he pulled away from his lover, and quickly put the pillow he'd been sleeping one behind Tony's back. He knew from experience that if there wasn't any pressure, or the smell of Steve's scent around Tony, the man would wake up grumpy and slightly panicked. Sure enough, his boyfriend turned around and snuggled into the pillow, still fast asleep, but taking a long whiff the super soldier's scent.
Steve didn't even bother to change as he got out of their room and made his way to the kitchen, it wouldn't be the first time the team saw him shirtless and in his pajamas. Tony still had a few hours before he woke up, especially after the ridiculous hang over he'd surely given himself, and Steve wanted to find everything the other man might need to recover. He could have never prepared himself for the utter warzone that their kitchen had become.
As soon as he stepped into the kitchen a delicate hand shot out to slap him across each cheek in quick succession. Bleary and still half-asleep, Steve couldn't do anything but blink before a punch to the gut was making him bend over more out of surprise than actually pain, and a hand was grabbing him by the back of the neck like a puppy. He went willingly towards the chair he was being manhandled into, his brain registering the hand as Clint's and the other presence in the room as Pepper.
"Well, good morning to you both," the super soldier said wearily. Neither of them were amused, in fact Clint looked the way he always did when he was itching for his bow and Pepper was tapping her food in a way that made Steve close his legs, fast.
"Don't you dare get cheeky with us, you bastard," Clint growled, crossing his arms over his chest.
Steve sighed, if he wanted to find out who his impostor was, he'd have to get the help of the Avengers. While Thor and Nat might easily believe him, Steve knew Bruce and most importantly Clint and Pepper were very over protective of their resident genius. "It wasn't me," he said in a resigned tone.
Clint snorted derisively while Pepper looked like she wanted to slap him again, or jam her heel into his groin. Neither option was appealing to Steve, but a corner of his mind was glad to know at least someone was in Tony's corner.
"I was at SHIELD's headquarters at the time, Clint you can ask Phil if you want, I was training the new recruits. Fury bailed me out saying he had wanted both of us at the stupid function, since we haven't made any public appearances, and everyone's making speculations about our relationships. I left my Starkphone and everything here, and anyway they take all my stuff before I go into the training room anyway. I didn't have time to look at the media or anything before I go to the tower. I figured," and here Steve's voice broke and he had to blink rapidly a few times. "I figured Tony and I could have a lazy afternoon together, like we used to a while ago. He pretends he doesn't like them but I know how much he… he likes the downtime we have. I swear to you both, I never betrayed him. I don't know who, or what, that was, but it wasn't me. I love him too much to hurt him like that." He met Pepper's unwavering gaze, "Please, you have to help me."
Pepper seemed to deflate; she sagged against Steve's shoulder and petted his hair. Needing the contact, the super soldier wrapped his arm around her delicate waist. "I believe you, Steve. I need to know though, how much did he have to drink?"
"About four bottles would be my guess, he drank two while we… discussed what he'd seen," Steve's voice was clogged with unshed tears.
"What are we going to do about your impostor?" Clint asked, and when Steve looked into his eyes he saw that the archer did believe him. But Clint worried at his lip, probably thinking what they were thinking; Tony was not going to come out of this unscathed. Steve opened his mouth, to say what he didn't know, but was interrupted by the bellow of an Asgardian demigod.
"Brother Steve! I must speak to you at once!" Thor walked in with a very angry scowl on his face, trailing behind him was a very put-out looking Loki. Great, Steve thought, even Loki's going to harangue me about supposedly cheating on the man I love. "Tell him of your latest mischief, Loki." Steve knew he wasn't imagining the growl coming out of the prince's voice.
Before Loki could even open his mouth to speak, Steve's brain put the pieces together. Of course, Loki would do something so thoughtless! Faster than the others could react, Steve had a hand wrapped around the other man's throat and a roar of anger was ripping through his throat. He was positively going to rip Loki apart.
Tony woke to the sensation of a drill going through his skull. He thought lobotomies had been banned from medical practice long ago, but clearly he had been mistaken. He rolled over onto his back, letting go of the pillow he had been holding in his sleep, and tried to blink the bleariness out of his eyes. God, but he was really hung over. The proof of it being that he didn't remember the events of the previous day for at least thirty seconds.
When he did, however, he sat up in bed and threw his legs over the side at once. The pain in his heart was winning over the one in his head and he had to close his eyes against the sudden flow of emotion. He was so, so stupid! How could he have come to what had been their bed when the tatters of their relationship were lying uselessly at his feet? Unrequited love really fucking sucked. Noting the lack of a body beside his own, the lack of anything that might signal another living soul in the room, Tony decided it was time to be productive in the workshop.
And by being productive, of course, he meant to bury himself and his pain into his work until it went away or his body collapsed out of sheer exhaustion. Giving himself a task helped Tony get out of the bed and make his way to the door, he really saw no point in changing; he was wearing one of his signature wife beaters and his favorite pajama pants. He tried not to think they had been a gift from Steve, his ex-boyfriend. God, it hurt to think about him like that. Man up, Anthony, Starks don't cry, his father's voice angrily snarled in his head. Little Tony quickly straightened his back to comply with his father's wishes. Fuck this; he thought as he made his way to the kitchen, I need some coffee and maybe some pills.
He was almost at the entryway of their kitchen when he heard the shouting. He could discern Steve's voice, even that felt like a spear through his heart and he rubbed at the reactor absently, but he could also hear some of his team members and, inexplicably, Loki. Along with a muffled thump, thump sound that reminded Tony of when he watched Steve pummel through all the punching bags in their gym.
He considered making a run for it, holing up in his workshop and never seeing the light, Steve, of day again. But as with all geniuses, curiosity got the best of him and he entered the kitchen. Not before willing his spine to straighten and his headache to stop pounding at his brain. He could make out the words as soon as he was inside.
"So you thought it would be humorous," Steve snarled into a terrified Loki's face as he violently shook his lanky frame again. "To make Tony, the fucking love of my life, believe I betrayed him?! Do you have any idea what this could have done to him?! He was seconds; goddamn seconds, away from getting alcohol poisoning! He could have died, Loki! Tell me right now why I shouldn't rid the universe of scum like you this instant?!"
"Brother Steve, I understand your rage but—" Thor was cut off by his own wince when Steve laid another one on Loki's face.
"I never thought Stark would react so strongly to you!" Loki yelled in defense, wiping at the weird liquid coming out of the corner of his mouth and nose. "My plan was to bring you close! To make Stark realize the depth of his—"he was cut off by another savage punch. The look on Steve's face was positively murderous.
Up until that point nobody had noticed Tony on the doorway, which was very good for his brain as it had blanked out and then rebooted. The love of my life, Tony kept hearing over and over in his head. His super soldier hadn't betrayed him! He felt like a goddamn teenage girl at the thought but couldn't help himself. He took a shake step forward, putting him in the path of Pepper's murderous-towards-a-demigod-slash-proud-of-steve-s lash-worried-about-steve-committing-murder gaze.
"Tony!" she cried as she jumped away from the fray and ran straight into his arms. He would never admit it, but the seconds he buried his head in her hair were used to blink away the tears from his eyes.
"Hey, I'm alright," he murmured into her hair, hugging her just a little tighter before he let her go and took another step forward. His knees were weak; thank you major hang over of the century, but Cling was there to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Hawkeye was Tony's third best friend, after Pepper and his science bro, but they had been connected in a weird level from the day they met. Looking at Clint now, the archer didn't have to even open his mouth for Tony to know the other man was worried. Their little conversation went something like this:
"You alright now, mate?"
"Yeah, I'm grand. Hung over as shit, but better."
"Kick his ass for you?"
"Nah, I'd like the honors."
Clint's amused half-smirk was all he needed to know to realize that this really was happening. For Tony's self-loathing mind, he kind of still believed Steve had double timed him. thank fuck that's not it.
"Anthony," Thor began but Tony just shook his head. He glared daggers at the frost-giant baby. By the look on Loki's face, and the distinct sound of a hard swallow, his eyes must have been smoldering with hatred. He carefully made his way to the mischief god, gloating in the way he took a step back, and with a grace that surprised even him considering the amount of alcohol in his system, delivered a two-punch combo that sent the other man reeling.
"You ever play with anyone in this team like that again, and you won't live to tell the tale," it wasn't Tony Stark who snarled at Loki. It was Iron Man, a warrior hardened by days in an Afghani cave, countless battles against supernatural shit he didn't even want to think about half the time, and an intense love for not only the Captain but the rest of his team as well. Loki was smart enough to only nod, and get back to his feet.
Tony still hadn't looked at Steve through the commotion, but as soon as the demigods were out of the room, the tension was stifling. He could feel the breaking point hovering just out of reach, and so could the other two apparently. Pepper hastened to go after insisting on lunch some day that week and a teary kiss to his cheek. Barton just nodded before he silently slithered out of the room, which only helped reinforce the notion that he cared about Tony, as he usually just left without any form of farewell. As soon as the room was empty, Steve was on Tony like a very sad, very put out puppy.
"Tony, I… I'm sorry… I didn't… last night… God," the last one was both a prayer and an agonized sob as the super soldier held him like he would never let him go. And Tony, for the first time ever, finally let himself unashamedly bask in the sensation and the love Steve had always freely given him. After a few minutes though, he pulled away, and immediately regretted it as his boyfriend's eyes glazed with something akin to agony. "It wasn't me, Tony."
"Shh, baby, I know," Tony gave him a small reassuring smile through his tears. God, he hated talking about feelings, but the smile that lit up Steve's face was totally worth it. he was still crying though, and for all the wrong reasons; so Tony set to make it right. "I need to tell you something, okay? I need you to let me get this out without interrupting, and then I'll need you to, ugh, make love to me afterwards and just hold me for a while because, fuck, I just felt like my heart was being ripped in two and I'm still not completely sure I won't throw up. But that's beside the point and the thing is… Steve, I wasn't mad at you just because I thought you'd betrayed me like everyone else but because… Steven Grant Rogers, my beautiful, sensitive, sweet, amazing Captain Apple Pie," and at this Steve's lips quirked up even as more tears kept flowing down his amazingly gorgeous cheeks. "I was terrified of feeling this much about somebody else if they didn't feel the same way about me. I don't only love you, baby, but I'm utterly, completely, amazing, and stupidly in love with you and it ate at me to think that you didn't feel the same for me. I just… I couldn't even breathe right without you, Steve, and what the fuck even how is that possible? I mean that is completely unrelated but I swear my lungs were just not—nngh" Tony's pointless ramblings were cut off by Steve's lips, utterly soft and perfect and tasting like salt a little bit.
Tony wrapped his arms around Steve's shoulders and wrapped his fingers into sunny-gold hair as he leaned up on his tip toes. Steve for his part wrapped his arms around his genius' face, putting all the desperation and heartbreak of the previous night into their kiss as Tony did the same. When the shorter man was panting for breath and Steve pulled back, the relief of seeing Tony's eyes unclouded and staring adoringly at him made the super soldier weak at the knees. "I think I need to make love to you now," he whispered, kissing Tony sweetly on his lips again.
"Please," and what the hell Tony never said please and oh my God, this was for real. Steve really did love him and hell his head was spinning, but the angst hadn't completely gone away. He needed his love to touch him, now, desperately. And Steve did just that, for hours.
Afterwards, when Steve was spooned against Tony's naked back and they were lying in a tangle of limbs and bed sheets; pressed as close together as humanly possible, the super soldier surprised his boyfriend again by saying "I'm proud of you, sweetheart."
Tony started and turned back to look at his now-not-ex boyfriend in surprise. A little crease formed between his eyes that Steve had to kiss because it was adorable. "Why?" and he wanted to beat Howard for ever making Tony so goddamn insecure about his own worth. But now Steve would move heaven and earth, and even more, to show Tony he was worth more than the whole universe combined.
"You dumped me; you let me go and even wished me the best after you thought I had betrayed you. You were leaving me, us, the tower even after the look-alike made you hurt so much. If I ever hurt you like that, for real, for whatever reason I want you to do the same thing. Toss my ass on the street, but don't ever let me devalue you like that."
Tears gathered at the corner of the genius's eyes as he snuggled closer to his boyfriend. "You'll never hurt me like that," he said decisively.
"You don't know that," Steve whispered into his hair, his arms tightening.
"I know you love me as much as I love you, baby. So yes, I know you'd never hurt me because I would kill myself before I ever see so much pain in your eyes again," and Steve couldn't stop the tears if he wanted to. Tony Stark talking about feelings and love, even after claiming they gave him hives.
"Go to sleep, you must be tired. I'll be right here," Steve whispered.
"Always?"
"Yeah, sweetheart," he kissed Tony's forehead. "Always."
