A/N: I wanted to do a troll fic, so here it is, for the ones who enjoy humorous crack, you might like this.

Some warnings: Germany on crack, Alfred suferring, Japan's micro appearance and mentions of Arthur.

A typical morning in Germany. Ludwig woke up, took a shower, brushed his teeth, yadda yadda yadda, with an obnoxious smile on his face. Then, he literally hopped into his car, turned on some music and drove like the crazy german he is.

"I LIEK IT LIEK IT! S S S AND M M M!"

He full stopped in front of the meeting house and changed 180 degrees in a split second. His smile turned into a cold stare. He checked his looks on the rearvies mirror and walked out, like a 'Ludwig'.

"Good morning, Germany-san."

"Morning, Japan."

Yadda yadda time skip

Meeting's over. Ludwig headed to the restroom to piss when he walked in to Alfred. He ignored the burger-eating bastard and did his business right next to him. Alfred, with the famous habit of poking his nose into other people's business, peeped inti Ludwig's side of the toilet to compare their 'manliness'. Ludwig was aware of what the american was trying to do. Seeing this opportunity, he turned on the Loki in him and as Alfred stared at his humongous tyrant shooting out piss, he angled it to Alfred's eyes, with a straight look on his face.

"FUCK! FUUUCK! HOLY SHIT I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE I'M BLIIIINDS!"

Hearing this, the tall german grew a freakish grin on his face.

"Oh dear! Alfred, I'm so sorry. It was an accident. Can you see? How many fingers am I showing you?"

Ludwig said this while smiling and looking around until his eyes met abeautiful piece of filet o fish, which Alfred was in the middle of, near the sink.

"B-E-A-utiful..." Ludwig whispered. He ignored a wailing America and walked over to the bun. With a flick of his finger, he removed the top bun to see the signature sauce from mcdonalds. It looks so white and creamy and thick, hmm, it kinda reminds him of..

"Hmmm..." He hummed softly as he pulled down his zipper, swung his right foot on top of the counter and unleashed his beast. He looked over to America and started takking to him,

"Are you okay, Alfred?"

"Uuh, uh, yeah..I think I'm fine.." Alfred said while blinking rapidly.

So, Germany took out his cherished water gun he got from a nazi, which he carries around everywhere in his pocket and filled it with soap water and started shooting Alfred on the eyes with it.

"AAAAAAAAARRRRGGHH!"

Ludwig had a look of pleasure on his face when he heard Alfred screaming in pain and he started jerking off.

"Holy shit! Alfred, what the hell happened?!"

"AAH! MY EYES! MY EYES ARE BURNING!"

"Does it hurt?!"

"OF COURSE IT DOES YOU BLOODY GIT!"

Hmm, Alfred sounded a lot like Arthur with an ameican accent. Not that Ludwig's complaining.

"What?! *huff* I didn't hear you, speak clearly! *huff*"

"IT FUCKING HUUUUUUURRRTTS!"

"WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM THIS FAR! I'M LOOKING FOR HELP! SAY IT AGAIN?!"

"IT HUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRTTTTTTTTSSSSSS!"

"OH, I SEE NOOOOOW!"

Ludwig threw his water gun to Alfred's face and earned a nice yell.

"OOOOOOOW!"

"yeeeeaaaaahh..." Ludwig tried super hard to keep his voice down that it sounded like water streaming from a faucet. His cum is on the burger now and it blended nicely with the sauce. He took the top bun carefully and gently placed it on top of the filet o fish with special sauce a'la Ludwig.

He looked at the mirror and ran his hand over his hair while grinning mischiveously and he turned to America with his serious face.

"Alfred, are you alright?"

"Oow,...no...no...*sob*" Alfred replied with his crybaby voice.

Ludwig took Alfred to the sink and helped him wash off piss and soap water off his eyes.

"Can you see me? What do I look like?"

"Uh..yeah, very handsome."

"(Pffft, of course I am)" Ludwig said in his mind. But he managed to bring out a fake blush and a sweet,

"Danke.."

He averted his eyes intentionally and remembered about the filet o fish he modified. He hadto fight very hard to hude his grin at that time.

"Don't leave your burger here."

"Oh, right. Thanks, Gerry."

"(GERRY?!)" Ludwig twitched a bit.

Alfred took the burger and devoured it in front of Ludwig.

"(Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)" he laughed in his mind.

"Mmh, mcdonalds is the best. I think they did something new with the sauce and it's just wonderful. It was friggin deliciousssssssss"

And Alfred waltzed out of the toilet while hissing. As for Ludwig, he seemed quite pleased with himself for taking the opportunity of 'pissing' someone off in the toilet and have them eat his sperms.

The end