When I was younger, there was a kid at my day-care who kind of stuck to me all the time. A lot of people thought we were brothers, but I didn't see him that way. At times, I thought he was kind of annoying, the way he always tended to me as if I couldn't do anything for myself, but when I spoke to my mom about it, she told to me "People do crazy things for love." and I saw him in a different way. I was disgusted. At that age, you would normally think that a boy liking another boy is preposterous, but to this day, the fact that he was possibly doing those things for love stick in my mind. It drives me crazy. Even when he was around me so much, the most I can remember about him is his black hair, with a tint of green, that was swept to his right. And his name. What was it again?
Hazy.
Not just his name, but his face is also hazy. Why? Why can I remember his hair, and the way he treated me, so well? I don't even remember what he said to me on the day he left for elementary school... After that, I never saw him again, until today, I think.
A couple of weeks ago, during our practice match with Kaijou, I felt like I was being watched, but I was too focused on playing the game to give it any serious thought. Now. Now, as I watch the Inter High match between Kaijou and Touou, I finally realize why.
"Look at that shot! Is Kaijou's number 5 insane!?"
"How Unorthodox! How can anyone make such a shot!?"
The crowd was chanting.
"Another point for Kaijou!" said the announcer, "Who will make the next one? Both aces are going hard at it!"
Kaijou- 18; Touou- 13. They were winning and I didn't want to watch, but I had to. I had to because Coach said so. I had to because Captain said so. I had to because the Team had to. I had to because... Because... Because it was Him.
I wanted to shout his name so badly, to show that I remembered, but I couldn't. The crowd was too loud and he was in the middle of a game, so how could I? No, all that is just an excuse. I can't do it because I'm a coward. I can't do it because I don't know what would happen next. I can't do it because I don't know how I feel about him.
My mouth opened, just a crack, and I whispered his name as if my Pride was using all its force to keep the sound from coming out.
"Yoshitaka-kun."
I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to forget everything that just happened inside my mind and heart. It's Repulsive, I thought. A man loving another man. No one would accept that kind of relationship. No open dating, no open kissing, no holding hands just because you wanted to. The stares you would get. Even your family wouldn't accept it. This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't—
BZZZT!
The game was over, and his team lost.
As we headed out to practice for the Winter Cup, I saw Kaijou, with their heads held high even when they just lost. Unconsciously, I started walking toward him, and as I did that I could hear Captain calling my name and then Kiyoshi telling him to leave me be. Yes, please let me do this. Let me do this, let me do this, let me do this.
A tap on the shoulder, and the back that faced mine turned so I could see the face I'd only ever seen from afar until now. "Yo, Moriyama-kun." I greeted with a smile. He immediately hugged me, and between all the sweat and heavy breathing, I could tell he was truly happy. "Shun-kun- I'm sorry... Izuki-kun." He let go of me and was now facing me properly, his hand on my right shoulder. "How are you?"
I had to pause for a second to think about that. How was I? I couldn't gather any thoughts or feelings for such a simple, but trivial, question. At last, I replied, "I'm fine, just sort of glad and upset that we weren't the ones in that match. It was a good game though! Your team is really stro—" and I was interrupted by his crying face. "Eh!? What's wrong, Moriyama-kun?"
He wiped is eyes with his left sleeve and, when he finally calmed down, he told me he was overwhelmed by the loss of the game and reuniting with me. In a way, I wish I hadn't remembered his name; his face; his everything. I never felt the same way about him. Nothing related to love. I always saw him as that one kid you knew way back in your childhood that you would never meet again, but unfortunately for me, we had met.
I wanted to get this over with, so I didn't have to see him again outside of Basketball, so I put on a smile and lightly asked "Hey, do you like me? It may be crazy, but—" again, interrupted by him with more tears and another embrace. "Yes Izuki-kun, I have always been in love with you!" he shouted. Ah... How troublesome, I thought.
I gently pushed him back, wiped his tears with my handkerchief, smiled another sincere smile, and just as I opened my mouth and took a breath for my answer to his statement, our captains called us back.
He flinched at the sound of his name, as if shocked by the presence of other people. I, on the other hand, wanted to get away. I've never broken anyone's heart before. Girls usually run away from me when I make puns. I don't know how to kindly tell someone that you don't feel the same way. But in that moment, I realized... You don't. Either way, someone's heart is going to be broken; In this case two: One for being rejected, and the other for rejecting.
I looked up from my thoughts and saw him running to his team, looking back at me and waving goodbye, so on impulse, I shouted with all the sincerity I had, "I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way!" but he didn't hear me, for he was too far and my trembling voice not clear enough.
PV: Moriyama
On the way home from the match, I asked Kise a favor.
"You have, um... What's his name... Kuroko's number, right?"
"Hai..." Kise answered tiredly, exhausted form the match.
"Can you ask Kuroko for Sh—... Izuki's number?"
"Eh... Sure."
Kise was probably too tired to think of why I asked such a weird question.
"Ah, here," he said, typing a message on his phone. "I sent the number to you."
"Thank you!"
The whole bus shook and everyone glared at me as if I just woke them up from a deep sleep. I was just so shocked that Kuroko would give it to Kise, and so quickly, too! I'm sure he has his reasons... Maybe he knows that there is something going on between Shun-kun and I. Kise always said he was very observant and could easily tell the mood. Whatever it may be, I'm glad he was kind enough to give it.
I immediately sent Shun-kun a text with all my feelings, all in one sentence.
PV: Izuki
When I arrived home, I received a text from an unknown number.
Sub: It's Yoshitaka.
Oh, so it was him. Kuroko was oddly texting someone in the bus ride home, and I saw him take a glance with me, using my Eagle Eye. I guess it can't be helped...
I opened up the message.
Msg: Even if you don't feel the same way, I will still love you and chase you to the ends of the Earth to make you feel the same way.
How rich! That was so cheesy! At this point, I really wanted to laugh. I laughed at the how cheesy it was, how stupid he sounded, and at the fact that my heart may or may not have skipped a beat. You can't be serious, I thought. I'm not falling for him. He's just some stupid guy that's confused. But as I thought about it more, I realized that I might have been confused too.
PV: Moriyama
Bzzt Bzzt Bzzt.
I picked up my vibrating phone from the night stand, lying in bed waiting for his reply.
Sub: Re: It's Yoshitaka.
Msg: I don't care. Do whatever you want. Good night.
P.S. You were really cool today.
