I'll never be happy.

This continuation of bad fortune will never end. I feel how I'm sinking deeper and deeper into the filthy well of self-pity. This will never. Never. It'll never stop. Not ever.

This road leads no where, there no end. I have to end it .

But how? Suicide?

Fuck that, I want people to remember me as a good person not a coward.

Oh how I wish that I could just turn into to that pretty, gorgeous girl that everybody loves and adores. Why do I have to be the fat one and to make things worse I'm the fat n' weird one.

I miss the days when I was skinny and envied, with my golden locks and the boys from the non-magical world adoring me and the girls in Hogwarts always envied my luck in getting 18 year olds to like me. Why couldn't it have lasted?

My name's Anahita Notash. My dad's Persian and my mom's half Finnish half Swedish. Odd mix, eh?
They met through the internet and fell hopelessly in love. They dated a year, then got engaged and married shortly after. My mom was only 17 when she was pregnant with me. They broke up before I got accepted into Hogwarts, but that's ok because he was a jerk back then and he treated my mom poorly.

I still remember how she cried all nights through and started to get depressed again (I say again 'cause I know for a fact that she's had a bad childhood and was often depressed about shit that happened to her and her weight issues). My mom suddenly decided to dump him and move away. I remember that hellish year; it was the last remaining year before I'd get accepted into Hogwarts. My dad stalked my mom; he called constantly until my mom went nuts. She had a nervous breakdown and was sent to a hospital. That's when my dad snapped out of his rage and sorrow and apologized. And then things started to get better.

My mom got out of the hospital, she and my dad started to develop a friendship AND I got accepted to Hogwarts. I remember how proud my mom was, she was a witch too but gave it all up for my dad's sake, and although he wasn't a muggle their culture had a different view on magic so he didn't want them to practice magic. At first I and my mom were scared of what my dad would react to me being sent off to Hogwarts but he took it well. I guess my dad was starting to broaden his tolerance.

So the day before I was sent to Hogwarts my mom took me shopping and to get my hair &nails fixed (she even let my dye my hair the same golden color she had) and the following day we hugged and cried and I stepped on the train and was on my way to the place I'd love and hate.


AN: Yay. I'm back with sumtin new and fresh. If you like, review . Tack och hej!