By the time Kakuzu was being robbed at knifepoint, the mugging wasn't enough to bother him.

Today had been his first day on the job at one of Konoha's most respected banks, and while he hadn't been expecting his coworkers to share the same love of money as he did (or at least not to the same degree), he had been hoping that they'd at least have some reverence for efficiency and hard work while on the job. But no, all of them except for his bosses Tsunade and Sarutobe had been doing their assigned duties with zero enthusiasm and as little effort as was possibly needed, all while looking to the clock every few seconds or so as though hoping it would miraculously skip ahead several hours and tell them it was five o' clock, and they were free to go home. Besides this, Tsunade had kept him after for nearly an hour to explain the proper procedure for locking down the facility after hours, right down to making sure the lights were off in the employee break room and that there were no expired leftovers in the fridge. It had been in the break room that the duo had come across a box half-full of glazed doughnuts, which she insisted the miser take home with him, seeing as he was a bachelor and probably didn't cook much. Kakuzu didn't argue with that statement, seeing as it was true, but really did not want to take home a dozen day-old doughnuts and have them sitting around in his kitchen for Kami knows how long before he finally decided to just throw them out. So really, after all that, being held up wasn't that big of a deal.

What did bother Kakuzu, however, was the fact that his mugger was a shrimpy teenager that was only about half his size, if that, a head shorter than the banker and didn't seem to know how to properly hold a knife, as he kept adjusting the blade in his hands. His silver hair was dirty and matted, pale skin just as badly in need of a wash and he couldn't have weighed more than a hundred pounds soaking wet. Probably some street kid. "Just hand over your money and I won't hurt you," the kid threatened.

It took all of Kakuzu's willpower not to laugh in the boy's face. "You do realize I could probably break you in half without trying," he stated, green eyes showing pure amusement with no traces of fear.

The teen looked his target up and down, starting with the insanely messy brown locks on top of Kakuzu's head and traveling all the way down the banker's toned, tanned body, magenta eyes lingering briefly on the scars Kakuzu sported on his arms and face. "Ok, how about half your money?"

It took Kakuzu a few seconds to formulate a reply. "Are you…bargaining the conditions of my mugging?"

"No shit, dumbass. Look, I don't want my face to get broken, you don't want your sorry ass to get cut up anymore, so just give me half of whatever the hell you got and we'll call it a day."

"What the…no."

"Ten bucks?"

"Absolutely not."

"Five bucks and a coupon to that shitty burger joint down the street?"

This was getting pathetic. Sighing angrily at having wasted so much time, Kakuzu thrust the doughnut box into the teen's arms, making him stumble backwards and drop the knife. "The hell?!"

"I'll be taking this," Kakuzu informed him as he scooped up the switchblade and pocketed it, "before you try to mug someone else and get arrested or killed. There are doughnuts in the box; at least you won't starve." Seeing that the boy wasn't going to reply, the banker walked off thinking to himself that this had been a very long day indeed, and he couldn't wait for it to be over.

-m-

When Kakuzu got off work the next day, he spotted the same teen by the same alleyway and mentally groaned to himself. Not this again. "Look kid, just because I didn't beat you to a pulp-"

"Got any more doughnuts?" the punk cut in.

Kakuzu was a bit taken aback by the kid's abruptness, but managed to say, "No," before walking on.

Much to his disappointment, the kid chose to adjust the backpack he was carrying on his shoulder and follow the miser. "What about sandwiches?"

"No."

"Salad?"

"I don't have any food, so beat it," Kakuzu hissed out.

The brat, however, was not to be deterred. "Well you're going to stop somewhere for dinner, right?"

"Look, what's it going to take to get you off my back?" Kakuzu finally demanded.

"A burger and fries ought to do it," the silver-haired teen shamelessly stated.

"Fine. But after that, you get the hell out of my sight. Got it?"

"As long as I get food first, dumbass." Kakuzu briefly wondered if he could get off on murder charges by pleading temporary insanity, but decided to let the idea drop.

Kakuzu eventually led the two into a greasy spoon coffee shop, and sat down at a booth in the back of the restaurant. He ordered the cheapest burger and fries combo on the menu, and got two glasses of water for them. "Why the hell am I spending my own money on some worthless punk," he wondered aloud as the waitress walked off to place their orders.

"Tch, don't act like such a martyr, dumbass," the teen snapped from across the table.

"My name is Kakuzu, you little brat, and why shouldn't I? I've been suckered into buying you food, and for what? Nothing."

"First, my name's Hidan, thanks for asking. Second, you're getting something out of this, asshole."

"Oh really? And what might that be?"

Hidan grinned from ear to ear. "The pleasure of my company!" Kakuzu would have told the younger male exactly what he thought of him and his company, but the waitress had returned with their orders. She'd barely even set down the plate before Hidan dove into the food, tearing it apart with animalistic hunger.

"Slow down or you'll just throw up," Kakuzu cautioned the boy, more worried about his money going to waste than whether or not the brat got sick.

"Shut the hell up," Hidan ordered through a mouthful of burger. "I haven't eaten since those doughnuts yesterday."

"So you're homeless then," Kakuzu stated. "Or do your parents just not feed you?"

"The hell do you care?" Hidan swallowed the burger and gulped down some of his water before tearing into his fries. "So, how'd your day go?"

"Why would I tell you that?"

Hidan rolled his eyes at the banker as though he was missing something blatantly obvious to the rest of the world. "I said you'd get my company in exchange for the Jashin-damned food, so tell me about your day. I'm pretty sure you don't talk to anyone else about it."

"And how the hell would you know that?" Kakuzu demanded.

"Hm, let's think. No wedding ring, you're not constantly checking your phone, so no significant other, you're the last person to leave the bank, so you're probably not close to anyone there, and oh yeah, you agreed to go out to eat with me, probably because you don't have anything fucking better to do. Now spill, or this meal really was a waste for you." Glowering at the teen's logic, Kakuzu decided he may as well indulge in the kid's request and told him the most generic aspects of his workplace, hoping to deter the brat's interest in his life.

Hidan eventually finished his meal and rose from the table, stretching his arms above his head and popping his back. "Man Kakuzu, your job sounds hella boring." Grinning, the silver-haired teen dropped his arms and shouldered his backpack. "Oh well. See ya tomorrow!" And with that he bolted from the diner before Kakuzu could tell him not to show up.