This is my take on how everyone would react to finding out about the wondrous world of HPFF! Ready to see? Then lets read!

Ah, Pleasentries!

Albus-too-many-bloody-names-Dumbledore was in a very pleasent, Lemon Drop sucking mood. After all, who woldn't be? The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, oh, and there goes Filch chasing Peeves for throwing pumpkins at first years! Yes, indeed, all was good in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE!"Ah, well, the peace was nice while it lasted. Dumbledore turned and saw Lily Evans, the fifth year Prefect, running towards him frantically. "Oh, please tell me those books are a joke, sir!" Lily pleaded, her emerald eyes looking into Dumbledore's blue ones frantically. "I'm afraid I've not the daftest idea what your talking about, Miss Evans!" He said pleasently.

"The library-books-oh, the wretched books-!" Lily was stammering over her words. "How about you show me?" Dumbledore said kindly. Lily nodded and brought him to the library. What was inside could be counted as one word; Chaos. Complete and utter chaos.

Sirius Black was hugging the life out of his younger brother, Regulus Black, saying, "I knew you had it in you, Reggie!"

James Potter ran over and hugged Lily. "Oh, I missed you Lily-kins! Now let's plan our wedding!"

Remus Lupin and Severus Snape were attempting to hex each other, hiding behind bookshelves. "WEREWOLF!" "IT HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED!"

Peter Pettigrew was hiding behind the library desk with Madam Pince, dodging the hexs'.

Dumbledore took this all in stride and walked off, sucking a Lemon Drop, paying it off as nerves.

Lily suddenly froze. "OH MY GOD THERE'S A SLASH SECTION!" she suddenly had the attention of all the room's occupants. "WHAT?" They shouted in unison.

"Okay, there's Remus-Severus pairings-" "WHAT!" "NEVER!"

"-and Sirius-Remus pairings-" "Gross!" "Seriously? Why me TWICE!" "Thought I was Sirius?"

"-and Remus-Lily pairings-" "Shi-" "WHAT THE HELL, REMUS!" "I didn't write it!"

"-Severus-Lily pairings-" "I can live with that." "Same" James pouted.

"-and Regulus-Remus pairings-" Silence. No one knew what to say to that one.

"-and there's Severus-James pairings-" "OH MY GOD!" "DISCUSTING!"

"... Oh. My. God." Lily said, suddenly pale. "What is it!" The rest shouted.

"T-there's a.. A... V-V-Vold-e-emo-r-t and a... A... Minerva pairing!" "...Wow." And that was it.

Suddenly, Lily looked outraged. "WHO THEY HELL WROTE A STORY ABOUT ME AND V-V-VOLDEMORT BEING LOVERS!"

Silence. "WHAT!" "MY POOR MIND!" "Wonder how good in bed she was?" "GET YOUR HEAD OUTA THE GUTTER, SIRIUS!"

Dumbledore heard all this as he walked away, half way across the school. He smiled. Such was the way of the wizarding school of Hogwarts.