A/N:

Crystal: Okay, now for my first attempt at humor! I own Naruto!...in my dreams-sigh


I quietly tip-toed out of Hidan's room, the plastic bottle was still in my hand. I turned a corner and kept going down the hall. " What were you doing in Hidan's room, Kimiko-chan?" an emotionless voice asked from behind me. I made a soft 'eep!' before turning around to glare at him. " Be quiet, Pinochio! Do you want Hidan to wake up?" I whisper-yelled at him. Sasori just gave me a blank stare before his eye twitched. He took the bottle from my hand and read the words on it before a smirk found its way onto his face. " He won't be too happy about that." he said. "Oh, I know." I said with an evil smile.

We both went to the kitchen, since neither of us could sleep - he's a puppet and I'm just not tired - and I got myself some cereal while he just sat at the table - he's a puppet, he doesn't eat either! What's with your questions?!-

Soon the rest of the Akatsuki came into the kitchen: Itachi, Pein, Deidara, Tobi, Kisame, my sister Konan, Kakuzu and finally Hidan. When Hidan entered, the whole kitchen went silent and everyone stared at him. He looked pretty normal, already dressed in his Akatsuki cloak, but his hair... was pink.

I started laughing so hard that I fell from my chair, then I proceeded to roll on the ground laughing my head off. Hidan looked at me like I was crazy and his eye twitched in annoyance as well... Is it 'International Eye-twitch day'? Why didn't anybody tell me! A few other members, those that didn't have a pole shoved so far up their butts that it poked their brain, started laughing as well.

" What the f*** are you all f****** laughing at?" he asked, which only made me laugh even louder. THE PAIN! MY SIDES ARE BURNING!

"H-have you looked in the mirror lately?" I asked once I calmed down from my laughing fit. " No." He walked over to the table and took the spoon I was eating with and looked at his reflection in it.

... " WHAT THE F*** IS THIS!" His face was turning red with anger. Hahaha, victory!

Hidan must have known it was me because after a few more swear words he started to chase me around the table and after a few laps around it... I tripped. Maaaaaan, I've got skills if I managed to trip over thin air! Thus the reason I'm not a ninja. Hidan finally caught me!... Uh oh!

I took a biiiig breath of air and ..."Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" Everyone cringed at the ear splitting screech I let loose.

" Quiet!" Pein ordered and his eye twitched too... What is up with the eye-twitching, seriously! Mine hasn't twitched even once!... Oh no, does that mean... I'm WIERD?! " Yeah, un. Stop yelling! You're becoming a real pain in the neck, un!" Deidara said with a slight glare. I did a long, dramatic gasp. " So you don't want me here?!" He looked a little confused " No, I-" " Save it! If you don't want me here, I'll just pack my things and leave!" I started walking towards my bedroom before... " And since I have nothing to pack, I'll just leave." I walked toward the entrance of the hideout.

As soon as I was outside I took a deep breath... I'm gonna talk to the forest!

' Good morning, forest. What are you gonna do today?'

' I'm gonna make you get hopelessly lost, muahahahaha!'

' Never!'

I started walking in a

random direction and after a few minutes I got tired... and bored. I turned around, ready to go back to the hideout... until I realized I was lost.

' Muahahahaha! I told you I would make you get lost!'

In my mind I was swearing some colorful words at the forest. The forest, of coarse, wasn't happy about that and got revenge by dropping an acorn on my head. The acorn bounced of my head and landed in front of me. I glared at it. DIE STUPID ACORN. DIE I SAY! YOU ARE EVIL, NOW DIE!

" Whatsss thisss?" I heard a creepy voice ask from behind me... I whirled around with a smile on my face.

" Orochimaru, finally! Someone I can vent to!" He looked a bit confused with my reaction. " The forest is being mean to me! I didn't even do anything! I just asked it

' hey, what are you gonna do today?' And it was all like ' I'm gonna make you get lost' and I was like ' never' and then I ACTUALLY got LOST! And then-" I looked around. And noticed he was gone... I'll just have to find him again!

After a few minutes of walking I found him and Kabuto in a clearing. I ran out into the clearing " There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!" ...Okay, maybe not EVERYWHERE " As I was saying before you left-" his eye twitched... SERIOUSLY!?

" What do you want?" Kabuto asked. " I just wanted to ask you a question." I said. " What do you want to know?" he asked again.

" Do you have any explosive clay?" I asked, but I already knew the answer. " No." " Explosive bunnies?" " No." " Explosive diarrhea?" "No." "... Explosive tags?" " Yes." Haha, sweet! " Can I see one?" He took a tag out of the pouch on his leg and I stepped closer to him to look at it. I then took the explosive tag from him and pretended to be 'examining' it.

" Is this a fake?" I asked. " No, its real" " Are you sure?" " Yes, why wouldn't I be?" " And you're also sure it wasn't replaced with a fake one?" " Yes, I'm sure. Besides, who would replace it with a fake?" "... The magical Tiki-torches." I said in a deadpan voice... Both Orochimaru and Kabuto's eyes twitched... WHY!... Ooh! Revenge!

I tied the tag to a kunai " Let's see if it is real!" I held the kunai in both my hands and stretched my arms out in front of me, before spinning around a few times and then letting the kunai go. I looked at the trees I just came from " Where did the kunai go?" I did the seal to activate it and then 'BOOM!' I smiled as I heard Orochimaru and Kabuto scream. I turned around and looked at them... Then I stated laughing. Their eyebrows were gone and their hair was standing upright! They looked pissed... TIME TO MAKE LIKE A TREE AND LEAF! I bolted away from there as fast as I could, with Kabuto and Orochimaru right on my heels. I finally saw the hideout come into view... when did I get back here? Ah well! I'm almost safe!... Until Kabuto tackled me to the ground. "I'm going to make you pay for doing that!" He seemed pretty serious about that, so I did the only thing I could think of. I yelled. "RAAAAAAPE!