NinjaPunk: random story my friends dared me to write...staring our very own Ryou Bakura and Malik Ishtar!
Ryou: I thought you hated us, why are we your stars?
N P: I don't hate you, just the whole idea that you didn't help your yami's with world domination, you were all into...'friendship'.
Malik: na, thats teá...she gives me a headache. you should watch the "behind the scenes" version of yu-gi-oh...me and ryou actually wanted world domination for ourselves.
Ryou: yup! we pretended to be part of the friendship orgy(cough) I mean gang. When we weren't in the episodes, we were out getting drunk at random clubs, if you think about it, it explains a lot of reasons we acted and said what we did.
N P: Riiiiiight. either way your still my stars, now malik will do the disclaimer!!
Malik: NinjaPunk doesn't own yu-gi-oh or anything else in this story but the random ideas...oh and in this story yami malik and yami bakura are in the shadow realm, malik now lives in domino and goes to the school, why I don't know, just go with it.
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(6:00 in the bedroom of ryou)
Beep. beep. beep. bee-SMASH.
Thump(ryou falls on the floor) "need. coffee. sugar..NOW!!!" ryou changes into a pair of tight black leather pants with a dark blue muscle shirt. (a/n in my story he's a bad ass!)
"now I need my coffee!!" (runs into the door forgetting it's closed knocking himself out)
(6:30 in ryou's kitchen)
(ryou is dragging himself on the kitchen floor trying to make it to the all powerful coffee maker before he dies from lack of caffeine)
"Coffee! my bestest friend in the world!" (suddenly a bright light appears and there's a envelope on the kitchen table addressed to ryou.)
" That was odd...my pop-tart got burned CURSE YOU TOASTER OF EVILNESS!!!" ryou is fighting the toaster, not even noticing the letter.
" Now I'll need double the sugar in my coffee to get me awake to make it to school...I hope your happy ass lard!" he points at the toaster and reaches across the table to get the sugar, only to find the envelope.
(Ryou's Pov)
A letter! for me wow..wonder what I did now..can't blame it on my yami anymore..wait it might be good! eh, my mornings already crap, thanks to lard ass, yes I named my toaster lard ass.
"I'm so lonely" I say randomly, yes I talk to myself all the time. I listen and give great advice!
"oh I know what I can do, I'm gonna go out and buy me a sexy black fish!! He can be my friend! that way I won't look crazy yelling at myself! ah! I'm such a genius" I pick up the letter, figuring I should read it now. It looks normal so I don't think it's deadly, but knowing my luck it's a bomb.
oh well I open the letter anyway. there's a small note inside and a small package of something that looks like...SUGAR!!! wait what does the note say..'To Ryou Bakura, we have observed your behavior for some time and we have decided you are now a official member of the Homicidal Homosexual Psycho's club! Enjoy your gift! sincerely- Shadows R' Us'.
"Shadows R' Us...wait..I'm...GAY!! how does everyone know these things before I do? Great way to start my day, but I was right that someone was watching me all along!! buhahahahahaha I love me" I throw my arms around myself giving me a friendly hug.
"Aha! I have sugar!!" I skip the coffee and shove half the bag of sugar down my throat. suddenly it feels like I have no control over my body..hehe I like this feeling.
"Well time to go to school and have fun with the mortals." I run into the door on my way out forgetting to open it again..man I gotta look where I run!
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(normal pov)
"WWWWAAAAA" Ryou runs outta his house but stops at his gate. looks over the fence at the old lady watering her plants. she's staring at ryou with one of those 'what the hell' looks.
"AH! I will conquer the mortal realm and destroy you once and for all evil cat lady! buhahahahha" ryou hops his fence and runs down the street to school.
(skip to school with ryou's pov)
I, like the graceful ninja I am, am crawling unnoticed along the walls trying to avoid the friendship orgy. To come in contact with them will ruin my mission and the world will never be safe from grasshoppers. I quickly run down the hall to my locker, slam myself against it and with time running out I quickly enter the combination for the secret chamber. 'click' ah yes! I have managed to break into one of the top security lockers in the school, even if it is mine.
Now I must retrieve the secret data before the orgy finds me, or worse..my fan girls! I shove myself into my locker as I hear their giggling coming closer to me..but just when I thought I was safe, my locker swung open and none other than yugi, the leader of the friendship orgy was standing before me.
At his left was Joey, to the right tristan behind him was teá. It's kinda funny actually they look like they orbit him, I mean tea is as fat as Jupiter (That's kinda my fault cuz after battle city, I locked her in a cake factory and she ate almost everything there so she looks like a huge cow!) Hey I think he's talking to me, oh no, can't give away my mission, must make something up. think. think. oh I got it!
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(normal pov)
"Ryou, you ok? why are you in that locker?" yugi askes him. Ryou quickly puts his hands over his manhood and screams,
"NO! I NEED MY ANATOMY STILL! IT'S MINE YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!" everyone stops what there doing and looks in ryou's direction, everyone goes quiet. 'so much for not attracting attention' thought ryou.
"Fan girls are going to sacrifice my dick and sexiness to create a army of hotness which they will use to enslave the worshipped sexy people just to make chocolate pudding! RUN!" with that ryou took off in the direction of his classroom. Ryou ran into his first period class and screamed
"It's my dick and I plan to use it later! oh um.." ryou realized everyone in the class room was staring at him. He was quick to pull out a blow pop and say,
"this is Jared, he's an extremely sexy grape lollipop and now I'm gonna go to the back of the room and pretend I don't exist" he ran to the back of the room and went to sit on his chair, missed and hit the floor.
"Evil chair of doom! you did that on purpose, I damn your children to hell!" with that he sat down and started licking jared. The friendship orgy entered the room at the exact moment of damnation towards the chair.
"Ya think that yami of his made him snap before he was banished or sumthin?" asked joey.
"Dunno, but he is acting rather odd..er then usual, guess we'll just have to keep an eye on him to make sure he's ok." at that moment the bell rang and the teacher started the class. After about ten minutes moaning sounds resembling as orgasm could be heard coming from ryou, everyone turned to see him enjoying the lollipop a little more then he should.
"Mr. Bakura please do not disturb my class with that sugary device" Ryou gasped and put on a shocked face.
"You know he has a name, it's Jared, shhh it's ok, she didn't mean it." He gently patted the candy whispering sweet words to it. The teacher huffed and went back to teaching. Another 3 minutes passed until once again ryou started making those noises, only when everyone turned around the lollipop was in his hand and ryou's eyes were closed as if he were asleep.
"Mr.Bakura what on earth is making you make those noises!" ryou opened his eyes before giving a eerie, not like ryou smile.
"Yum, the delicious sherbert ice cream I'm dreaming of" he replied in a cocky tone. He then stood quickly and shouted,
"I want ice cream! I will use it was part of my plan to help global warming!!" the teacher stood shocked for a second before she had enough.
"Thats it, get out of this class room now!" she pointed at the door and some of the students snickered will others full out laughed. Ryou walked to the door way and sat down right in the entrance.
"What are you doing now ryou?" the teacher asked in a very annoyed tone.
"Communicating with the dead students in your classroom, who died from boredom and your screeching voice." at this the whole class burst out laughing, ryou quickly stood and ran from the room.
"Need ice cream now! more sugar crack!" he pulled out the bag of sugar from nowhere and emptied it into his mouth.
"yyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa!! he screamed as he ran down the hall, only to run into the one person he actually wanted to meet.
"Malik Malik Malik!! guess what what what!!!" he said really quick. Malik was already crazy and hyper, so ryou's sudden change in behavior only made him crazier.
"Ryou pretty!! I missed you so much!" he said glomping ryou in a hug.
"Malik this morning I found this sugar crack(ryou pulls out another bag from nowhere) and I was accepted into the homicidal homosexual psycho's club! I didn't even know I was gay until they told me, isn't that great, then the fan girls tried to sacrifice mini ryou (aka my dick) and I ran from the friendship orgy and got kicked outta class cuz I need ice cream now!" he said with one long breath.
"Really! I wanna be in that club, and you didn't know you were gay? Oh I want some sugar crack!! please please please!!!" he said hopping up and down with ryou.
"I dunno how you get in the club and you knew I was gay before I did to?!! Why didn't you tell me!!" Suddenly another bright light appeared in front of malik and he grabbed the envelope and tearing it open and reading the letter inside.
"Malik, you too have proven yourself worthy to be in the homicidal homosexual psycho's club,(we really think your ass is hot!) sincerely Shadows R' Us...yay! I'm in the club now, oh and look I get sugar crack too!!" he opened the sugar and ate it all.
"Ryou I feel..." he didn't even finish his sentence because he screamed so loud a deaf man could hear.
"feels good right right right?" ryou said laughing like crazy.
"Now lets go complete our missions ryou pretty!" malik said grabbing ryou and running out the school.
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(Somewhere in the shadow realm on a couch with a wide screen TV in front of it)
"See! I told you they could be much entertainment! You didn't believe me that Ryou is as bad as me when he's on a sugar high!" Bakura said cracking up.
"yea your right 'kura, I can't wait to see what they do today, this beats torturing people any day!" he grabbed the popcorn from Bakura and they resumed watching their lights destroy they city.
