Warning!


"Is this thing on?" A teenage boy in Grimm armor asks, tapping at a microphone. "It is? Okay. Wait, are you recording right now?" He asks staring straight at the camera person. The camera image bobs up and down in response. "What? Why? We weren't even ready yet!" He huffs.

If one could see the camera operator, they would merely see them shrug indifferently.

"Just start over." The boy sighs placing his head in his free hand.

The camera restarts, capturing a scene of Ace and Ruby standing on a stage, illuminated by the spotlight shinning upon them. Each of them wore a bright welcoming smile to the audience before them.

"Hi, I'm Ace Wolfblade." The boy greets. "If you don't know who I am, then you have obviously not read the FanFiction, Team: Azure. If that is the case then I strongly urge you to leave, check that out, then come back, to avoid any further confusion."

"And I'm Ruby Rose." The young girl says. "If you don't know who I am then you obviously don't watch RWBY and you should be stoned for your ignorance."

"Now you're all probably wondering what we're doing here." Ace surmises.

"Well to put it simply, we're giving all of you out there a warning about what you're getting into." Ruby says.

"The writer, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to put out a collection of short stories for all of you to enjoy." Ace sighs with sarcasm.

"Yeah, because as if he didn't already take forever to put out chapters to the actual story he's supposed to be writing, he decided that it would be good to start up something else to neglect." Matthew shouts from somewhere in the room.

"Shut the hell up Matt! It's not even your turn to speak anyway!" Ace shouts at the offending person he deemed a friend. "Where were we? Oh right. So these stories are just any random idea that the writer has that he thinks would be fun to write."

"Yep! Wait, why is he doing this again when he should be writing more to his story?" Ruby asks in confusion.

"Because the retard needed time to setup what he wants to do for the second season, but didn't want to disappear for however long that may be." Ace explains.

"But isn't that kinda counterproductive? I mean he'd get more done if he focused solely on the actual plot, than this shit storm of shenanigans wouldn't he?" Ruby points out.

"… Just roll with it. I think he knows what he's doing."

"Alright then." Ruby concedes quickly returning to her cheery smile. "And now to deliver the actual warning is Team Atlas."

A second spotlight blinks on, revealing two shadowy figures that had been concealed in the darkness of the stage.

"Remind me, why do we have to do this again?" Weiss huffs, clearly annoyed about the whole situation that she had been unwittingly dragged into.

"Because you two are the only ones we can trust to deliver this legal bullshit." Yang answers.

"Let's just get this over with." Zweii sighs. Weiss rolls her eyes but complies.

"The following stories contain ideas and characters that in no way belong to the writer. RWBY and all its elements were created by the great Monty Oum and his fellow workers, and are as such owned by Rooster Teeth Productions. The only things the author owns are his own Original Characters and a cheap laptop. These stories are in no way an attempt at making money as the site they are published within is a nonprofit archive for these stories to be shared." The heiress states.

"The ideas presented are in almost no way connected to the actual plot of the preexisting series, Team: Azure, unless stated otherwise by the author himself. These stories include, but are not limited to, Game immersion, Body switching, Transformation, Time traveling, Utter nonsense, and ideas that were considered for use in the actual plot but were instead ultimately scrapped or deemed unimportant to add to the story." Zweii adds.

"Warning. The following collection have been labeled as M rated, so the writer can get away with basically anything he wants. The following stories may contain graphic violence, suggestive themes, use of alcohol, and sever swearing. If you are under the age of 18 and have never heard the word 'Fuck' before… Well you have now." Weiss adds.

"Wow Ice Queen. Never figured you for the type to curse." Yang jabs.

"Shove it you blond oaf. I'll have you know that I can indeed swear if I choose to, and when I do, I do so like a fucking lady." Weiss bites back crossing her arms.

"Duly noted." Yang grins widely.

"In relation to the characters owned by Rooster Teeth and the author respectively, characters may appear more OOC than usual, perfectly demonstrated by my associates here. This is done so to improve, you the readers, experience throughout these, the author's pitiful attempts at humor." Zweii continues.

"Hey I don't think he's that bad." Matthew defends. "Maybe he isn't the funniest but I think he at least tries his hardest at what he does."

"That's just it Matt. Sometimes I think he tries too hard." Deazryl cuts in. "Remember the Snowball fight chapter?"

Everybody cringes at the memory. Everyone but Yang.

"Oh come on guys. It wasn't that bad." The brawler argues.

"Yang, while you may not find an issue in puns every five seconds, some of us do." Zweii sighs. "I for one wanted to but my blade through the author's skull. Repeatedly."

"I thought they were quite pun-derful." Yang sneers.

Everybody in the room grows silent, praying to whatever force above that they hadn't heard what they think they did. Unfortunately the ever present shit eating grin on Yang's face only confirmed their fears.

"… Yeah. That. THAT! That right there is exactly what we're talking about!" Zweii roars.

"Geez, take a chill pill dude. It's only all in good fun." Matthew says, trying to calm down the raging knight.

"…I suppose so." Zweii relents. "But that doesn't make it any less annoying."

"Agreed." Weiss nods.

At this point, Blake's upper body dangles down and reveals itself from the top of the stage. Hanging upside down with book in hand she delivers the next matter of business.

"It should also be mentioned that these stories may reference or center around other various real world elements. These include various forms of media and entertainment such as video games, books, and movies. The author claims no rights to any of these elements as they are not rightfully his. Please support the official release of each of these concepts. Seriously, the last thing we want is some lawsuit." The Faunus girl says monotonously.

"Blake! How the hell did you get up there?" Ace asks.

"Sometimes it pays to be a trained ninja assassin." She answers turning to the next page in her book. "In terms of updating frequency the author is unsure but promises that as soon as a chapter is finished, it will be released."

"Well that pretty much sums up everything you should expect from now on with this series of unrelated insanity." Ace says turning back to the audience. "We hope…"

"Wait!" Matthew shouts, interrupting Ace and delaying the end of this segment just that much more.

"What now Matt?" Ace asks.

"I just wanna ask something. I mean, don't you ever wonder why we're here?" The male hammer wielder asks.

"It's one of life's greatest mysteries isn't it?" Ace replies. "Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence or…"

"No, not that! I mean why are we here doing this lame ass introduction garbage? Why can't the author just make some Author's Note or something to explain this shit?" Matthew clarifies.

"Oh. Well I mean he could but at the same time he can't. It's one of those rules of the site he's posting this on." Ace answers.

"You mean the rule everyone breaks repeatedly?" Ruby asks.

"The one that he already broke?" Dezaryl adds.

"Yeah that one." Ace replies again.

The group once again returns their attention to their restless audience.

"Anyway, we hope that you enjoy this new collection of short stories and show it as much support, if not more, as you have for the author's previous work." Ace continues.

"So pull up a chair or snuggle in your bed, sit back and relax, and enjoy the ride." Ruby finishes.

With a bow from each of the speakers, the lights dim, and the curtain closes.

The stage is now set, and the players await their roles.