Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story, nor do I intend on any copyright infringement. All characters belong to SEGA

~Le Story of Shadow's Life~

One day, there was a hedgehog, named Shadow. Shadow was a black hedgehog, with red stripes, and deep crimson eyes. Shadow was a strong, and brave hedgehog, who was both feared, and respected by the people around him.

Sadly, Shadow had "some" mental and emotional problems, that included, but not limited to; bipolar, dementia, depression, schizophrenia and manic bipolar (don't ask me how he has 2 types of bipolar, he just does), and had a traumatic past.

It all started 50+ years ago, Shadow was a happy hedgy, and it seemed like he had it all. A hot dumb blond, a big-ass house in space, and an old hag, named Professor Gerald Robotnik, who did his bidding, and was gullible, believing everything Shadow told him, even though it was he who created Shadow, and had actually lacked the intelligence to be suspicious that Shadow was lying, or bamboozling him out of all his money, causing him to go broke and lose much respect from his fellow lab assistants, who at some point, all up and left him.

Then one day, Shadow and Maria where doing..."things" in her bedroom, until they heard crashing, and banging noises, coming from the far end of the Ark. Shadow quickly got off Maria, cursing under his breath of how little he achieved, trying to "please" her.

He went out to check where the sounds were coming from, then out of nowhere, a GUN soldier appeared in front of Shadow at gunpoint, saying in a loud voice "halt! Who goes there?!" Shadow saw this, and ran like hell down the hall, running into Maria's room, and grabbing her by the butt, then proceeding to carry her bridal style out of the bedroom, and down the hall, where the soldier quickly caught sight of them, thus proceeding to chase after the two mischievous lovers.

They kept on running down about five corridors, before finally reaching the room where the escape pods where located. Unfortunately for the two lovers, the soldier caught up to them, not only that, but a few others where beside him now, all holding up large guns. The guns where so large, it made Maria feel, errm, ya know? So, she wanted some more from Shadow, totally oblivious, and dumb enough to not realize the danger she and Shadow were in.

Shadow said "screw this!" tossing Maria at them. "take her, she is too stupid anyways. I don't care what you do with her." One of the men then shot him in the balls, so that he would suffer greatly and then shot Maria shortly afterwords. Shadow stumbled backwards into the escape pod, now bleeding profusely from the crotch, feeling sad, but for his balls, of course. The pod closed him in, as Shadow struggled to move, he realized he was trapped in, and not only that, but he was now officially balless.

A soldier pressed a button on a control panel, thus causing Shadow and the pod to be ejected into space, making a crash landing down the planet below. Once he reached the big, blue planet, he was captured, had his crotch sewn up, then was cryo freezed for the next 50 years. And that is how it really happened.

~The End~