How My Life Would Suck Without You

Summary: A conversation about secret fantasies leads to some lemon-y filled fun and minor introspection for ERIC and SOOKIE! 1 of 2 racy stuff peeps, be warned.

Rating: M for language and suggestion

Author: wicked18writer

Spoilers: I can't really tell the difference anymore b/c I've re-read the books so many times and re-watched the show so much, so to be safe, I'm posting this only in the SVM section. I'd say up to book 5 at least.

A/N: After doing so much humor I decided to indulge with another part of my personality.

It wasn't until I had a conversation with Eric about fantasies that I realized how much my life would suck if a certain supernatural someone wasn't in it.

The conversation with Eric had begun in the afterglow of a boisterous round of lovemaking. We were in my bed, under a single sheet due to the heat of the Louisiana summer. I was covered in sweat from the unrelenting 90-degree heat and of course, our recent activities; Eric wasn't sweaty at all, even though he did most of the work.

We were discussing how uncomfortable I would be if I were to put on a costume and act out a scenario fantasy such as the classic naughty nurse, naughty school girl, naught everything else or French maid.

I thought, "It's too hot to get all dolled up just to get stripped down again."

I could hear Eric chuckle internally as my head was lying on his chest, "Perhaps lover, but there is something very erotic about engaging in role play. I believe with your creativity and flair for the dramatic, you would enjoy it very much. In fact I believe that you would be so enamored with our games that you would not mind enduring the initial mild discomfort that our preamble would call for."

I snorted in a very lady like manner and responded, "Not freaking likely."

That time there was no internal nature to Eric's chuckles. He was out and out laughing at me…with me I suppose as I was laughing too.

Still, eventually the conversation turned to secret fantasies. Apparently my vampire had a secret desire to put on his old Viking garb and ravish me, really, really, really old school style. I told him to bring it up again when you couldn't fry an egg on the asphalt outside. Then Eric asked me about my secret desires. He asked me to tell him about my secret fantasies. "In as much detail as possible."

"I don't think I really have any Eric, I mean you pretty much do it all." Again, with the laughing with me.

"Seriously, you've done thinks with me and to me, that I would have never thought up all by my lonesome." Eric began stroking my hair as thoroughly as I had just stroked his ego.

"Haven't you ever fantasized about having sex with another woman?"

"No."

"With me and a another woman?"

"No…not really."

"Not really? Does that mean you have fantasized about you, me, and a hermaphrodite?"

"No, Eric, I have never fantasized about a kinky ménage a trios, in any context…. except…no never mind."

"Not freaking likely." Eric threw my prior words right back at me. "Spill it Stackhouse." He commanded giving my hair a playful tug.

"No Eric, I can't it's too embarrassing. And anyway, what I was thinking of wasn't so much a fantasy as a hazy half remembered dream."

"Pam told me that Dear Abby says that being a successful couple requires one to share one's hopes and dreams with one's partner. Are they misinformed? Do lies of omission and deceit truly pave the way to harmony and happiness?"
Damn that Dear Abby, internally I cursed her and Pam for filling my Vikings head with such irrefutable logic. Eric gently poked me in my back, silently urging me to give up my secret. Which I found a little hypocritical given all the vampire secret handshake stuff I was never privy too, but he had told me one of his fantasies, even though I could have thought up the whole Viking costume thing myself.

"Okay, I'll tell you." I paused, collecting my thoughts, and preparing on how I would word it, as Eric continued to gently jab me with his pointer finger.

"I said I'd tell you, so stop poking me." I grabbed his hand in a vain attempt to stop his massive arm from its repetitive action.

"I'll stop when you get to the sexy part." Eric smiled impishly as I huffed and blew some hair off my face before getting up on my knees and straddling Eric's waist, sitting on his chest with my bare bottom. Which proverbially shut Eric up and got him to quit poking me. Sexy part achieved, I thought to my self as I let the sheet fall away to reveal my naked breasts to Eric's gaze. Then I started talking.

"Well, the dream starts out as a very boring dream. It's a little too boring if you know what I'm saying, it's got that feel that something's gonna happen cause everything's so normal. Too normal. In the dream I'm just at working Merlotte's, Sam was pouring beers, I was serving them, and he was also handing me food that I should have gotten from the kitchen but, in my dream there wasn't a kitchen, just Sam, who would magically pull out French fries and burgers from the bottom of the bar in a very odd 'Ta Da' fashion. Most of the town regulars were in attendance, and I had my shields up trying to keep out the static but then all of sudden I looked out the window, which was actually not like the window at Merlotte's is was more like a porthole on a ship, you know one of those round ones" Eric nodded knowing what I meant, and urged me own by grasping my waist and tracing light patterns with his fingertips there.

"And anyway, I watched sun go down so fast it was like someone hit the fast forward button on time and then I looked back at where all my customers should have been but they were gone. And then you were there. You walked in through the front door of Merlotte's with such ferocity that the door slammed into the wall and cracked it. And then you came up to me using your vampire speed and got very close to me, as close as you could get to me without touching me and you looked down at me, right in my eyes and I looked up at you, not in the eyes but at your fangs which were out." Eric clicked down his fangs and sat up, shifting me a little down in his lap, but still refraining from actual sexual contact, even though I could tell he was ready to go another round.

"And then we were kissing. And it was mind-blowing like it always is," Eric then grabbed me a little roughly and kissed me more than adequately, his tongue ran over my tongue chasing it all around my mouth.

As we separated I gasped out, "Yeah, just like that." I was panting a little from lack of air, Eric wasn't. As I tried to catch my breath, he just smiled that devious fang filled smile of his. Waiting somewhat impatiently, Eric quietly tapped my hips in succession as someone does to a tabletop to show that they are bored. He was obviously ready for the next verse in my epic tale.

"Um…" I shook my head a bit, "Yeah, we kissed and it like in the movies where the music plays and the camera spins around us making us look extra romantical. And then you were backing me up against the bar, only we were still kissing and I couldn't see it, so I only knew it was the bar cause when my back hit it I heard the cash register cha-ching and open up like we did a Fonzi magic touch thing." Eric switched up the path of his fingers from my hips to up my back, causing me to arch up a little as his own unique magic touch gave me goose bumps. This inadvertently thrust my breast into his face, and I saw Eric's head dip down for one second and his mouth open slightly, but then he snapped his head back up restraining himself from taking my breast into his mouth as I knew he wanted to. He forced his eyes back up to mine. I was enjoying just how captive my audience was, so I continued with my story and said nothing of his almost lack of control.

"So, the cash register opens and I know we've hit the bar and I tell you 'up' and I mean up on the bar so we can lie down and have sex on the bar, but you surprise me and as I jump up and wrap my legs around your waist, you float us up in the air. You rip my shorts in half and my shirt and bra magically disappear, as they tend to do in dreams. And your clothes disappear too, and then you're inside me." Eric abruptly pushes himself inside me. So unexpectedly that I let out a gasp.
"Keep going." Eric urges so quietly I scarcely heard him.

"That's what she said." I said, ruining the moment inadvertently confusing Eric prompting him to ask, "What?"

"Never mind I couldn't resist." I smile and quickly peck Eric on the lips before Eric seem to catch on that I had made a joke.

"I think that's my line." Eric said as he pulled out and thrust back in. I laughed and then moaned as Eric took another languid stroke inside me. A stroke that told me, he had all the time in the world, even though it was about a half an hour before sunrise. I stared at him in the eyes as he stilled. A little slow on the up take as to why he had stopped moving, I rocked my hips forward trying to urge him on.

"Keep talking Sookie. Keep talking and I'll keep…I want to say fucking you but it sounds so barbaric for what I want."

"I don't wanna keep talking Eric," I gave another thrust of my hips to show him I meant business.

"Keep talking and we will make love like a pot on the oven beginning at a slow simmer only to erupt in an explosion of boiling water." Ugh I grunted, he was so sexy with everything about him, even the words he used. He should be the one who kept talking.

"We're in Merlotte's, everyone's gone, we're in the air, I'm in you…" Eric prompted, recapping where I left off. I smirked as I pulled the metaphorical ace out of my sleeve.

"I didn't say everyone was gone, I said the customer's disappeared." That got a shocked look. So I thrust hard with my hips, as I had talked, Eric thrust back as promised.

"Who else is with us lover?"

"Don't skip ahead," I chastised him, "who's impatient now?" He laughed and pulled out of me and then trust back in, which I found impressive as he was literally picking me up and moving me onto him as we were still facing each other sitting up, chests touching, my legs wrapped around his back.

"Yes, back Merlotte's. We're in the air and your inside me and your thrusting in and out and we're gradual floating upwards as you keep up the rhythm, in and out, in and out, at a hair pulling, agonizingly slow rate." Too my great surprise we actually began to float above my bed as Eric thrust in and out of me.

"And we float higher and higher, literally and sexually metaphorically speaking. Then we hi—well, you hit the ceiling, and then you plaster me to it, literally defying gravity keeping my back to the ceiling by the force of your thrusts supporting my lower half and your mouth on my breast supporting the upper half of my body." And I'll be damned if Eric wasn't reenacting my story to the letter. And god, it felt more amazing than I could have ever imagined in any half-baked dream.

"You pound into me like a jack hammer, just hard and fast but your mouth on my breast in contrast is so soft and loving and gentle and careful and you tear me apart from the inside with all these feelings. GOD Eric god that feels so good oh god. I don't I can't, I don't remember, oh I um. We do it on the ceiling and then we, just ughuh, I can't think straight Eric." I don't know how but Eric exerts some sort of vampire strength level of self-control and stops mid-heart stopping thrust to lick his way up from my breasts up my neck across my jaw to my ear and whisper, "Finish your story lover, so we can finish together."

I nearly came on the spot, but words for me weren't going to cut it I wanted him to do his big finish and if all I had to do was tell him how I wanted, hell, it wasn't that much of a hardship.

I looked him right in the eye, my peripheral vision catching the sight of what my room looks like from the odd vantage point of my ceiling caused my to smirk as I spoke, "You bit me, sucked me and then fucked me to the ceiling until I came. And then you flipped us around and flew us down to the floor so hard that it creaked under our weight and then with the dirty floor of Merlotte's at my back you fucked me harder until we both came again. Twice." Eric bit my neck and resumed his former jackhammer like pace. Thrusting in and out of me, rubbing my clit by changing the angle of each thrust, whilst drawing blood from my neck. And then I was digging my nails into his back as I was rocked by my orgasm and before I even knew what happened I was on my floor, and Eric was slipping my legs onto his shoulders. Thrusting into me even harder now that he wasn't working against gravity and had some leverage to work with.

I watched Eric's face fascinated by the feelings of intense pride, arousal, and satisfaction that we're coming across the bond. Our eyes were locked and he was smiling and I just know I had a dumb giant goofy grin on my face. Cause Eric was my real life dream man.

Eric bit his wrist just a little and offered it to me and I didn't refuse. As soon as I started to suck on his bloody wound I felt his fangs pierce my inner thigh. (No where near my femoral artery) which I never admitted had been a concern of mine since that first conversation with Bill in the parking lot of Merlotte's. But, that was just a fleeting thought in a sea of 'oh gods' and 'yes's' and 'Eric's', because then Eric and I were coming together, physically, metaphorically, and sexually. In one giant kick ass super fly bond enhanced dual orgasm-y experience of awesome-ness.

After Eric deposited me back in bed and effectively tucked me, as time really had flown by us while we we're having sex. I couldn't help the thought that had me thinking Eric tricked me yet again, because after that performance, I was so on board with the fantasy fulfillment plan. I was even planning to get some costume's over the internet, and just damn the heat! I was thinking over my options when Eric's voice grabbed my attention as he swiftly got dressed to go hide in the hidey-hole.

"Lover, you mentioned all the customer's were gone, but that we were not alone. What did you mean by that?" Eric slipped his shirt back on.

"What? Oh yeah, my dream ended kinda weird cause when we got done having sex on the floor we stood up and we were magically half dressed, I had my Merlotte's shirt back on and my apron but not my shorts or my underwear on, you had your shirt on, but no pants. We both had our shoes and socks too. And we were kissing again then we hear the unmistakable sound of a man reaching his climax, you know groaning and fisting himself and what not. So, we turn to look behind the bar and who should it be, but…" I glance out my window to see the morning light peaking over the horizon.

"Go to bed Eric, it's too early for you to be awake still. I'll tell you the end tomorrow night."

"Just tell me Sookie." I smile, he's like a kid trying to stay up way past his bed time. He was almost swaying on his feet in exhaustion and rubbing at his eyes. So I just rolled over so he would be facing my back and urged him back to bed, reminding him that, "The suspense won't kill you Eric, I'll see at sunset."
As Eric grumbled to himself and walked across the hall to the closet where his resting place lay I could hear him mumble "Hard-hearted harpy" and then I was claimed by sleep and heard no more.

A/N: I think this is only going to be 2 chapters long, I'm almost done with the second chapter and you can expect an update soon. OF COURSE THE FASTER YOU REVIEW, the faster I post. SO REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE!

Also, any guess who the mystery voyeur is?