A/N: Hello there! This is DEFINITELY not my usual style, but the idea came to me and I couldn't help myself. Please realize that this is SLASH, of the RemusxSirius variety. It's nothing graphic but it's definitely there. Not your ship? Then get off and swim. Reviews are love. Flames will be used to make s'mores. Enjoy!
By the way, anyone who can give me a good title for this story will get credit right here in the AN and all the love i possess. I'm really and truly terrible at titles _;
Disclaimer: I own no characters or places mentioned below. They belong to the amazing and wonderful Jo Rowling. The song is also not mine, as it is written and performed by Relient K.
No, I don't hate you
Don't wanna fight you
You know I'll always love you
But right now I just don't like you.
'Cause you took this too far.
-"Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet?" by Relient K
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The only sounds that could be heard in the dormitory currently in use by the Marauders were the sounds of the pages of a book being turned every few minutes and the infrequent creaking of bed springs as Remus Lupin adjusted his position on his bed. For about an hour and a half, he had been attempting to read one of his favorite books; but instead of actually managing to read, he spent a lot more time focusing on the fact that his bed felt so much bigger when he was sitting on it alone, without Sirius there to keep him company, or to tell him that he read too much, or distract him with long fingers in his hair, or soft kisses on his neck and jaw line. No, Remus thought to himself. Stop thinking about him, Lupin. You can't forgive him yet; not after what he did, after the way he betrayed you. Just stop thinking about him.
He closed his eyes and leaned back against his headboard. He knew better than anyone that not thinking about Sirius Black was easier said than done. He took a couple of deep breaths to try and clear his mind, but was interrupted as someone opened and then closed the door to the dormitory. He didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was. He could smell him, his heightened werewolf senses allowing him to be able to recognize his scent even from across the room: soap and strawberries and cinnamon and sweat and then something that was just so Sirius that Remus couldn't think of any words to describe it. Merlin, how he missed that smell, how he wanted to get up and walk over to the black-haired boy, throw his arms around him, just breathe it all in. No, Remus told himself again, closing his eyes tighter, I'm not going to forgive Sirius just because he happens to smell amazing. I'm just going to ignore him. That's it, ignore him. "Remus?" He inwardly groaned. It would be impossible to ignore Sirius with him sounding so small and dejected. He opened his eyes, and practically growled, "Yes Black? How may I help you?" Sirius winced slightly, whether at the cold tone, or the use of his last name, Remus had no idea.
"Remus," he said, taking a step closer, "Rem, love, I'm so sorry." Remus scoffed as Sirius continued to take slow steps closer and closer to him. "Please Rem, I know you don't believe me but I really am sorry." Another step. And another. And another. "I never wanted to hurt you." He took two more steps and kneeled in front of Remus's bed, where Remus was now sitting straight up with his legs crossed and his narrowed eyes focused on the other boy, his book completely forgotten. Sirius looked down at the floor as he continued. "And I know that you have every right to…" he paused for a second, took a shaky breath, and tried to wipe away the tears that were now flowing steadily out of his traitorous eyes. "T-to h-h-ate me, and that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but, Merlin's Beard, Remus, I hate fighting with you. I love you so much, Moony."
Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. "Come up here Sirius," he said, patting a spot on the bed right next to him. Sirius gave him a confused look before wiping a few more tears from his eyes, standing up, and then sitting awkwardly next to Remus on the bed. After a short pause, Remus took one of Sirius's hands in his, which earned him a hopeful look from the boy next to him. "I could never hate you, Padfoot; I love you too much." Remus allowed himself a small smile as a huge grin broke out on Sirius's face. "But that doesn't mean that I'm not pissed of at you beyond belief right now." The grin was gone, replaced with guilt, and Sirius looked back down at his feet and nodded. Never pulling his hand away from Sirius's, Remus closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "How could you, Sirius? Did you even stop for a second and think about the consequences? I could have killed Snape and James. You would have been sent to Azkaban. I would have been killed, Sirius. They would have deemed me a danger to society and had me put down. Do you really hate Snape so much that you would risk my life as well as his?"
Sirius grabbed onto Remus's hand tighter, afraid that if he didn't hold on tight enough, he might lose Remus altogether. "I didn't even realize what I had said until after Snape had stalked off in the other direction. It's just—he just makes me so mad Rem, and I wanted to get him to leave me alone. I wasn't thinking. If I had been, I never would have told him, you know that. I love you, Remus. I'm so, so, so sorry." Remus sighed again, and squeezed Sirius's hand reassuringly, getting him to loosen his grip a bit. "I know you are, Sirius. And I love you too, but—could you let me cool off for a bit? Just let me be mad at you for a while."
Sirius took a second to think, and then nodded. "You want me to leave you alone then?" Remus nodded. Sirius nodded again, then gently kissed the back of Remus's hand and stood up. Before he turned to leave, he looked at Remus for a couple seconds. "See you later?" he asked. Remus gave him a small smile and nodded. Sirius gave him one last grin, then let go of his hand and left the dormitory.
