CHRIS: "Welcome to Season 6! Here, all our competitors from all past seasons will continue to battle each other in a deadly combination of the most terrifying challenges ever created in Total Drama History, all on Exitium Island! Who will rise to the clouds, and who will fall to the ashes? Find out right here, right now, on TOTAL... DRAMA... DEEE...STRUCTION!"

*theme music*

"Well well, here they come!"

Chris takes out a device with a red button and presses it without a hint of guilt. The competitors are all enraged as the ship they are on explodes. As the teenagers slowly reach the shore, they all glare angrily at Chris, who is smiling.

CHRIS: "It feels great to be back, doesn't it?"

Eva immediately walks up to him and kicks him hard on the shin, making him shout out in pain.

CHRIS: "Eva, get back!"

EVA: "I'd better win this time, McLean!"

CHRIS: "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

JO: "McLean, get this finished before I do what Little Miss Muscle just did, except a hundred times harder!"

EVA: "There's only room for one strong girl, and that's me!"

JO: "No, it's me!"

Eva and Jo throw snarling looks at each other.

CHRIS: "It's a half hour show, you know."

Geoff and Bridgette start smooching.

CHRIS: "I said, it's a half hour-"

Chris is cut off by Cameron and Harold.

CAMERON & HAROLD: "Twenty-two minutes, precisely."

CHRIS: "WHATEVER!"

Cameron and Harold back off.

CHRIS: "Okay, today's first challenge is called The Team Chooser!"

SCOTT: "Real original."

CHRIS: "I know, right!"

LINDSAY: "Yeah, well done, Chris! That's a really cool name!"

COURTNEY: "These people are driving me crazy!"

NOAH: "You don't say."

Courtney glares at Noah, who quickly looks back innocently.

CHRIS: This is how it will work. You have to simply stand behind your team logo when I alphabetically call your name.

Everyone simply looks at Chris.

CHRIS: "Alejandro, Amy and Anne Maria are respectively in The Aggressive Annihilators, The Enraged Eradicators and The Combative Crushers!"

The people move off behind their team logo, which are all carved into the sand on the beach.

CHRIS: "B, Beardo and Beth are respectively behind Alejandro, Amy and Anne Maria!"

After a while, when everyone has been sorted into their groups, Chris announces the start of the second challenge.

CHRIS: "Chef, bring in the Annoy-o-spinner!"

Chef pants as he carries a rather large device towards Chris.

CHRIS: "You're probably all wondering if I'm going to hurt you. I tell you, I would, but, since I'm feeling nice today, I'm not."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

CHRIS: "HA! That was a joke! I am going to try to hurt you, a LOT! Hehe, he!"

Confessional:

DUNCAN: "Not"

JASMINE: "Cool"

SAMEY: "At"

SCOTT: "All!"

CHRIS: "On my Annoy-o-spinner are the most annoying people, in my opinion. 3 of them, chosen using my spinner, will go home IM-ME-DI-ATE-LY! Hehe, hehe!"

BETH: "Why are some of the spaces are bigger than others?"

CHRIS: "The more annoying you are, the bigger your space on the Annoy-o-spinner is, and the more chance of going you have! Cool, right?"

SHAWN: "That is so unfair!"

ELLA: "Would anyone like to hear a song?"

CHRIS: "Um, yeah, Ella would be one of the people with the biggest spaces!"

Ella and Topher have large spaces. Blaineley, Cameron, Harold and many others have smaller spaces. Courtney and Heather have the smallest.

Chris immediately spins the spinner and hopes for Ella or Topher. Instead, Heather is chosen.

HEATHER: "NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!"

CHRIS: "Well, well, Heather, time to leave!"

HEATHER: "Your spinner is rigged!"

CHRIS: "Yeah, probably. Anyway, Heather, it's time up for you!"

HEATHER: "This is impossible!"

CHRIS: "Uh, technically not."

HEATHER: "Just tell me how to leave this stupid island already!"

CHRIS: "Isn't this a wonderful time to get to know our lovely new machine? Simply wonderful! Welcome to the Squeeze of Shame!"

CAMERON: "How does it work?"

CHRIS: "It squeezes the life out of the victim and then flings them away into the middle of nowhere, in the sea."

HEATHER: "Uh, is this necessary?"

CHRIS: "Totally!"

Chris throws Heather into the squeezer and presses a red button on the side. Immediately, the lid of the squeezer comes down and Heather is squeezed to near death. After a while, Heather is simply seen screaming as she flies to the middle of nowhere, in the sea.

CHRIS: "One down, two to go! Who will be the next to leave in the Squeeze of Shame? Find out after the break!"