Shit don't do it Miley, don't do it!

Shit don't do it Miley, don't do it!! Be strong, be strong! No, I want it so bad please please please can't I just have one piece? No!! You have done so well this entire day, you haven't had any mess ups and you want to just give up and ruin it now? You know what; you are never going to make it anyway! You might as well just have the piece and get fat, oh wait you already are fat! So, go ahead, Miley, eat it and become a huge whale! Wait, no I don't want to be a whale, but I have done so well today! I mean, don't I deserve just a little reward, don't I?

And that was all that Miley Ray Stewart needed to convince herself to have that single piece of Double Bubble Gum that Lilly was waving in front of her face. And just like that, Miley took the piece, her mouth already salivating from the thought of getting to taste that sweet sugar, and plopped it in her mouth.

Miley chuckled. If only Oliver could see her now! Poor Oliver, the boy was terrified of chewing gum and Miley, dressed up as Hannah Montana and trying to get Oliver to stop crushing on Hannah Montana, had chewed piece after piece of gum in front of his face! And now look at Miley! It took her at least a minute to decide if she wanted a piece of gum! What was wrong with her? Oh wait; she was a tub of lard.

"Miley, are you okay? You seem kind of out of it." Lilly, already on her fourth piece of gum, asked as she plopped onto the Stewart's couch.

"Uh-uh-I-I-um…" It was at this moment that Miley remembered Lilly had no idea what kind of mind war she had just been through; Miley's mind was surging forward at full pace, but Miley's mouth never ounce moved.

"And seriously Miles, since when did gum become so funny?"

At this Miley smiled. Lilly, without knowing it, had given her an easy escape and Miley gratefully accepted it.

"I was just remembering the time I told Oliver that I was Hannah Montana! You know how I chewed all that gum and then spit it out on him. Of course, there was the fainting spell after, but that's beside the point."

Lilly started laughing so hard she nearly choked on her gum. "Oh my gosh! Oliver had chunks of gum in his hair for weeks!"

"I know! Remember when Oliver found the first chunk in his hair at school?!" Miley giggled as she grabbed her stomach, unable to breathe at the memory of Oliver freaking out and jumping around like a circus monkey while trying to get the gum out with a pair of scissors.

"Oh my gosh! And they had to call his mom to come and pick him up and take him to the hair dressers because his hair looked so bad after he cut out the chunks! Oliver was traumatized for weeks!" Lilly managed to get out as she gasped for air.

"Lilly! Stop! I can't breathe!" Miley cried out as she rolled onto the floor, tears springing to her eyes from laughing so hard.

"Sweet Nibblets! What in the Sam heck is going on in here?" Robbie Ray Stewart asked as he came in the front door carrying a bag of groceries.

"Oliver-"
"Gum-"
"Hair!" The girls managed to spit out before they doubled up in a new round of hysterics.

"Robbie Ray, you had to ask!" Robbie Ray joked as he made his way to the kitchen. "So, girls I'm making my famous pancakes! Lilly you wanna stay for dinner?"

Dinner! Oh no, that was something I completely forgot about! I can't let Lilly stay over to eat dinner if I was already planning on telling Daddy I was just going to eat dinner over at Lilly's house in the first place! Crap! What the heck, does no one care that I'm on a diet! Oh yeah no one knows, gosh Miley think once in a while! Okay! I am thinking! Now, what do I do! Ah, what do I do?! Think think think! Oh! I'll say we are already going to eat at Oliver's and then I'll figure Lilly out later! Perfect Miley, you still got it!

"Actually dad w-"

"I would love to stay for dinner! Thanks Mr. Stewart! I love your pancakes!" Lilly enthusiastically replied as she walked over to help set the table.

No one noticed that Miley's laughter had abruptly come to a halt. No one noticed that Miley had become completely unresponsive and was just staring ahead at the blank TV. No one noticed anything.

As soon as Lilly left, Miley ran upstairs without even offering to help clean up the dishes. Miley didn't have time for small talk with her dad or Jackson about how their days went or other pointless questions.

Miley was fat, really fat. She could feel the fat building on itself as she locked her door and quietly took off her top. Miley tiptoed across her room and closed her eyes. Her baby blue mirror was right in front of her, but she wasn't sure she could face the reflection she knew would be staring back at her.

Miley had pretended to not be hungry at dinner, but then Lilly wondered how that could be possible when they hadn't had something to eat since lunch four hours before. Miley knew her daddy would become suspicious if she continued to say she wasn't hungry, so she reluctantly agreed to have ONE pancake.

But, as soon as the pancake touched Miley's lips, she never slowed down. It wasn't until she had downed the third pancake that Miley realized how hungry she was. Truth be told, Miley hadn't had anything other than a few sticks of celery and a diet coke that day; oh, and how could she forget the piece of gum she had earlier with Lilly. The more Miley thought about it, the more she realized how little she had eaten in the last few weeks. And this made Miley feel good, really good.

But then just as quickly that feeling disappeared as Miley passed some gas. Tonight she had screwed up and now she was going to pay the price for it in the morning. Miley would up her morning run to 8 miles, which meant she would have to get up even earlier tomorrow morning. Miley scolded herself as she realized that meant she would have to be extra quiet so she wouldn't wake up her daddy or Jackson.

It wasn't that her daddy didn't approve of her working out, it was just Miley knew he would become worried if he realized his daughter was working out in the morning before school and also after school when she didn't have a Hannah thing.

Hannah Montana. Sometimes Miley hated being Hannah Montana. If it wasn't for Hannah, Miley wouldn't have to worry so much about anyone noticing she was continuing to lose weightand she had already lost a ton of weight, more than she should have, which made Miley smile for a moment.

Miley loved the fact that she could feel her ribs and hipbones when she lay in bed at night praising herself for how well she had done that day with her eating or lack there of. Miley had already had to replace all her clothes once and when her dad asked her if she was on a diet, Miley had innocently replied that it was baby fat finally going away. Robbie Ray had accepted this answer without thinking twice about it and Miley gave all her old clothes away to Goodwill.

At first, Miley loved showing off her new body. When she sat down, there wasn't a bulge and her arms were thin enough that she felt comfortable wearing t-shirts and halter tops to school. And Miley even swore that the guys noticed her more.

But, after a while the good feelings disappeared, and the original compliments of how good she looked stop coming. Miley knew this meant she had to loose more weight. And the more Miley looked in the mirror, the uglier and fatter she became. In Miley's eyes, she was gaining weight not loosing it.

Miley was scared and worried that she would never be skinny and beautiful again. She had spent many nights crying herself to sleep and wishing her momma was still alive and while she thought no one could hear her, Jackson and her daddy did night after night and it pained the two of them. However, when the two of them asked Miley what was wrong in the morning, she would just mumble something about her momma and the subject was dropped.

Everyone had noticed a change in Miley, but no one could pinpoint what exactly had caused the change. It was as if the "real" Miley had died or gone into hiding and all that was left was a shell of the girl everyone had loved and cared about; a shell that occasionally came to life only to retreat within a few minutes.

Miley would usually respond when talked too, but she never said more than was necessary. Lilly had tried everything she could think of to get Miley to talk to her, like really talk, but all her attempts had failed. Lilly finally had backed off a little when Miley hugged her after a day of shopping had resulted in Lilly doing all the talking. Lilly figured that when Miley was ready to talk, she would; all Lilly could do at this point was show Miley how much she cared for her and how she would always be there for her.

Over the course of the last few months, Miley had cut out more and more food from her diet until she was only eating celery. The results came quickly and once Miley started cutting out food, she never looked back. Everything was working out perfect for Miley, except the Hannah thing.

Miley had started protesting the tight clothes she had to wear during concerts. She told her daddy that she didn't like the message she was sending to little girls that tight clothes were the only way to be cool. And amazingly enough, her daddy bought what she was saying. So for the time being Miley was safe wearing baggy pants with a big skirt over them and layer after layer of baggy tops. The coolest part was that the critics loved Hannah Montana's new style! And as for school, no one really noticed or necessarily cared what Miley wore to school.

There was just one other small problem. Miley wanted to lose at least another ten pounds. Which meant that pretty soon people were going to start noticing that Hannah was getting way to skinny, which would not be good for her role model status.

So Miley was constantly worrying about how to hide Hannah from the critics as well as trying to loose more weight so she would feel beautiful again.

Still standing in front of the mirror, Miley silently sucked in her tummy and counted to ten before she slowly opened her eyes. As soon as Miley saw her reflection staring back at her, she began to cry. She was right, she had gained weight because of those stupid pancakes! And now she would never be perfect again! Miley's life was over!

But the tears that were silently rolling down her face quickly stopped when she heard someone coming up the stairs. Miley made a dash for the door to unlock it (she was only allowed to lock it if a mad stalker found out she was Hannah Montana and broke into the house), hitting her leg on the side of her night stand, causing something to fall and shatter. As swear words ran through her head, Miley switched the lock, grabbed her bathrobe and threw it around her as she opened her door.

"Hey Jackson! Do you have any toothpaste in your bathroom? I'm all out!" Miley said in a rush as she shut her bedroom door behind her.

Jackson could tell something was off with Miley, her eyes were kind of puffy like she had been crying. His heart sank at the site of his little sister trying to hide her pain and the fact that she had been crying. Jackson almost asked her if she was okay, but he already knew the answer was "I'm fine." So instead, Jackson gave a simple "go for it" and closed his bedroom door.

Miley let out a sign of relief. She thought it was her dad coming up to check on her or give her a lecture about why she didn't help clean up after dinner. Miley was safe. Without even bothering to brush her teeth, Miley went back into her room and slipped off her jeans, getting ready for bed; she didn't think she could stand looking at herself in her bathroom mirror. Her stomach was still bloated and the fat was still settling in around it.

When she went to get in bed, Miley realized what had fallen off the night stand. It was the picture of her momma, only now the frame was shattered and that was all Miley needed to set her off crying again. Not only was she fat, but her momma was dead too. Miley felt like the shattered glass surrounding her momma's picture.

Miley picked up the photo and crawled into her bed, her tears soaking through her PJ's. She gave her momma a kiss goodnight and carefully set the photo underneath her pillow; she needed her mommy tonight. And just as Miley was about to turn out the light, she felt a throbbing pain in her leg.

As Miley pulled back the covers, she saw a huge red mark covering the lower part of her leg. Miley had forgotten she had hit her leg when she was running to unlock the door. That was going to leave a mark. In recent weeks Miley had noticed that she bruised really easily and was beginning to get worried about that.

Pushing her thoughts about bruises aside, Miley kissed her leg making her miss her momma even more. When she was younger her momma always kissed her cuts and bruises to make her feel better.

And as the tears continued to fall, Miley finally turned off the light, descending into a light and restless sleep.