It's just…what is this, I don't even.
It kinda just popped up when I was watching the show, and it simply wouldn't go away; it bothered me so much, I had to write it down. It was just an idea, since Double D is always blasting Eddy's plans (which deserve to be ridiculed, of course) and I just wondered, what if his plans worked at one point?
And that's where this little bit came from. If Edd's plans worked, and a bet was made.
01: It Worked, or Kevin's Almost Uneventful Day.
Off the bat, as soon as it spewed out of Eddy's big mouth, Double D knew it wasn't going to work.
"No one's going to go for this," he remembers himself saying, thinking back to all the other failed cons and scams his friend had managed to spawn throughout the years, and thinking 'why would this one be any different?', "Eddy, you can't market some cheap odor from your used gym socks, and try to market it as cologne. It just won't work."
"Oh yeah?" he remembers Eddy's snappy retort, as he wrung the sweat and whatever else the old sock held into a little bottle, "let's make a bet, sockhead. I sell at least ten of these things, you have to admit that I was right all along, and if I lose, I'll never do a scam ever again."
'No more scams?' Double D remembers cocking an eyebrow at the claim; he also remembers how his mother told him never to gamble (betting included) as it rots the brain, but her statement was duly noted. The only thing he could concentrate on was a full summer of nothing but relaxation, no money-making schemes or devious cons for the whole three months. He remembers it being against his better judgment, but in the end, he nodded.
"Fine, Eddy," he stuck out his hand, and the other shook it vigorously, "If I win, no more scams." Yet as he turned to let the subject go, he heard Eddy clear his throat.
"Actually, sockhead," suddenly Edd felt deep-rooted nervousness in his heart, as Eddy smiled a devious smile, "let's make it more…exciting. If you win, I'll quit scams cold turkey…but if I win, I want you, for a month, to dress like a girl. Wig, makeup, bra, the whole shebang."
He remembers taking a few minutes to mull the proposition over. Normally, he would have never of agreed to such daring stakes, but at the time, he remembers feeling a bit daring that day. He nodded, and definitely remembers shaking Eddy's hand for the final time.
"Fine. I accept your challenge."
"Well, good." He remembers Eddy had said, and remembers the final dastardly look in his eye before he turned back to flushing out his sock fluids once again, "get ready to wear a dress, sockhead."
On the contrary, he remembers being ready to go a full season without any ridiculous plans to try on the somewhat dim-witted children of the cul-de- sac; never would he prepare the foundation or go bra-shopping. He remembers being willing to bet his life on Eddy's plan being a total and complete failure, and the last thing he really remembers was walking away as if he had already won.
And suddenly, after an entire week had past, he remembers, there was a knock on his door.
"Eleven." Before Double D could even blurt out a quick greeting, a paper showing the record of the sales was shoved in his surprised face, "I sold eleven bottles, sockhead."
"No." he remembers yanking the records from Eddy's palms, scanning the thing over once, twice, thrice; eleven buyers. Eleven people purchased his foul concoction, eleven people unknowingly spritzing sock sweat on their skin, eleven, eleven, eleven…
"And if I remember, our bet said to sell ten." The paper was thrust out of Double D's hands, and another item, something soft and floral and nice smelling, was pushed into them; and Eddward remembered it took him a good whole minute to realize he was staring at a dress, "so have a good time getting ready, sockhead. It starts tomorrow."
With that, and a smug, I-won-you-lost smile, Eddy turned, nearly skipping away from Double D's doorstep and back to his own house, whistling and humming all the way back. And for some reason, the world turned black and his face hit the stair, he didn't remember anything after that.
Monday, on whatever day in the dead of winter, had begun as an uneventful day for Kevin.
He woke up. He took a shower. He ate his breakfast. He caught the bus. And he prayed to the stars above only the morning would be a bore; something amazing would happen at school today.
But first period went by, sadly, without a fluke. As did second, and third and fourth and Kevin listened to his teachers prattle on about Shakespeare to The Civil War, scribbling notes on the board. Subconsciously, he felt his hand furiously scrawling down their lectures, though his mind was somewhere far away from Peach Creek High; maybe on a tropical island surrounded by babes, or a dirt bike competition of which he had been the winner of, or, hell, back home asleep—anywhere had to of been better than the borefest they called a classroom.
The bell to fourth period rang, and though he felt himself arise from his seat, again his brain was somewhere in the clouds. It came back into the atmosphere when he felt someone poke his shoulder, and the smell of pork and pickles he was so fond of wafted into his nostrils.
"Hey, Rolf," he waved a hand, though it looked more like a shrug-off rather than a wave, but of course the foreign boy didn't mind; in fact, as Kevin actually came back down to Earth and managed to catch a glimpse of Rolf's face, it looked as if an angel had come to him in a dream, and nothing could bother him at all, "what's goin' on?"
"'Ave you heard, Kevin?" the football player noted the far-off look in his eye, almost identical to the one Kevin had sported not moments ago, but one major detail he was missing, but couldn't quite put his finger on, "we have received a new student."
"New student?" Finally, something somewhat exciting; there hadn't been anyone new to Peach Creek (save the Freshman) for years, "what's his name?"
"It is a girl, silly child," Rolf sighed, and Kevin could practically see the hearts in his eyes; the damned fool was love-struck, he should have figured out, "Edwina. A beautiful name that burns Rolf's heart with the intensity of a thousand bursting suns."
"Poetic, dude." He admitted he didn't know his friend had such a way with words, "she must be one foxy babe, huh?"
Rolf opened his mouth, probably to belt out more praise for this mystery chick, when his eye caught something beyond Kevin's vision, and he clamped up; Kevin heard the obnoxious voice of Eddy and the dimwitted sayings of Ed from his hearing, and another, softer, lighter tone he couldn't recognize. He began to turn, when a pair of hands lifted him up and did the turning for him.
"There, Kevin! Have your eyes ever gazed over such a beautiful sight?"
The redhead let the beginning of a shout loose, as Rolf knew how much he didn't like being manhandled, until the two Ed's stepped out of the way, and someone completely foreign to Peach Creek stood in his line of sight.
There, in a pretty blue and white floral dress, she stood, black hair about down to her bra-strap and back hunched over in silent embarrassment. He could see the blush on her cheeks from even where he was standing, a hallway away, as she smoothed out the folds in the clothing and handed Eddy a few of his books. He said something to her, which made the girl turn and sport a look of shame, and Kevin had half a mind to punch that little squirt in the face, making a beautiful girl like that be embarrassed.
"Damn." he muttered to himself, shaking his head at his internal overreacting; behind him, Rolf chittered away in love-struck glee, prattling on and on about how great it would be for her to go back with him to the mother country and meet Nana and Papa and Mama, and Kevin simply nodded when needed, still staring at the girl from across the hall, until a pair of fingers snapped in front of his eyes.
"Yoo-hoo! Earth to Kevin! Hallo?"
Rolf was never renowned for his soft tones, and his shouts as he tried to bring the boy back down again were heard across the school; and before he could even turn, the new girl looked up, looked at him for a millisecond behind long eyelashes, and skittered down a hall, Edd and Eddy calling after her. Kevin watched the entire scene unfold in silence, and finally, when the final bell for school rang, he turned with Rolf and headed out the front door.
"You know, Rolf," as they were walking outside, the duo ran into Edd and Eddy, and Kevin made sure to give them glares as they passed by. They walked close to the buses, filled with children already, and out of all the people he could have seen, she was there; sitting as graceful as a swan, as quiet as a gazelle in the bus seat, and Kevin, though he would never admit it, felt him damn heartstrings tug just a little bit, "maybe this day wasn't such a damn bore."
Rolf said nothing; he simply laughed.
