FIC 1:

Title: "Child Care for the Single Hunter/Parent," or, "Four phone calls that didn't pan out for John Winchester (and one that did)."
Characters: John Winchester
Word Count: ~200
Episode/Spoilers: 'A Very Supernatural Christmas'
Summary: It's not like leaving the boys in that motel room for Christmas was John's first choice. Crack of the telephone variety.
Author's Notes: General knowledge of the minor characters in late Season One/early Season Two is necessary to get this story.


Dialing Manning, Colorado
:ring:

"Daniel, it's John Winchester. I was thinking, life is too short to hold grudges, y'know? Just out of curiosity, do you have a spare room in your Unabomber cabin? No? Well, a large closet would do."
:click:

Dialing Blue Earth, Minnesota
:ring:

"Pastor Jim? John. I know you get stuck with the kids a lot, but hey, you only work one day a week, right?"
:click:

Dialing Lincoln, Nebraska
:ring:

"Caleb! Good to talk to you. Look, you might think that a thriving gun-running business is all you need to be happy, but let me tell you, buddy, Christmas isn't Christmas without kids around...You have kids, you say? What do you mean, they'll ask questions?...Mm-hmm...Uh, thanks for the offer, but never mind. I don't want my boys exposed to that environment."
:click:

Dialing Harvelle's Roadhouse, Nebraska
:ring:

"Ellen, it's John. So, how's widowhood treating you? Yeah…uh-huh…Listen, Ellen, Bill said that you always wanted Jo to have brothers, so I had this idea…"
:click:

Dialing Broken Bow, Nebraska
:ring:

"Hello, No-Tell Motel? I'm calling to inquire about your policy on unaccompanied minors."


FIC 2:

Title: "God Has No Sympathy for the Devil (When It Comes to John Winchester)"
Characters: God, Satan
Word Count: ~150
Episodes/Spoilers: "In My Time of Dying" and "All Hell Breaks Loose."
Summary: Theologically speaking, does a good soul really belong in hell?
A/N: I posted this humorously on a forum a long time back, but technically, it is fic.


Unidentified Location
John Winchester's Hospital Room

God, watching the deal between John and the Yellow-Eyed Demon, thinks, 'Whew! Heaven dodged a bullet there.'

Four months later:
Satan: "This Winchester guy…he's not really evil, you know."
God: "What can I say? He made a deal to go to hell."

Three months later:
Satan: "Not even borderline, is what I'm saying. Spent his life fighting for good."
God: "A contract's a contract."

Two months later:
Satan: "You know he was a demon hunter, right? That's good."
God: "You know the difference between good and evil? Good honors its word."

One month later:
Satan: "And he's still good! Hunting demons! It's all he ever talks about!"
God: "Look, my hands are tied."

Three weeks later:
Satan: "Day and night! Night and day! The other damned don't deserve this!"
God: "And the saved do?"

Two weeks later:
Satan: "So, about Winchester..."
God: "No."

One week later:
Satan: "Deal didn't say anything about what happened if he got out. You're stuck with him."


Comments are welcome. You can read more of my fic here or at my lj, but be warned...the rest of it is nothing like this.