Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

Reflection

Sunlight penetrated through the curtains of a certain changeling's room in Titans Tower. Said resident of the messy and untidy room groaned and buried his face into his pillow to block out the light. Before the green shape shifter could fall back into slumber, a loud knocking on his door jerked him awake.

"Friend Beast Boy! Arise! One should not be asleep on a day as beautiful and wondrous as today!" Starfire called.

Beast Boy grumbled and reluctantly got out of bed. He knew if he didn't, Starfire would probably drag him out of bed. She did that once, and he had bruises for a week. Beast Boy shuffled to his bathroom, grabbing a fresh uniform from his closet as he did so. Starfire seemed satisfied at the sounds of the water running from Beast Boy's bathroom. She floated to the common room, humming a happy tune.


Beast Boy had just finished freshening up and was on his way out of the bathroom. He glanced to his right and tried to force himself not to look. It appeared that he failed to do so, as he did every day, and found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror. Beast Boy stared hard at his reflection, scrutinizing every feature.

Beast Boy sighed and giving the mirror one last glance, trudged back to his room. Beast Boy sat on the lower bunk bed and gazed at his room sorrowfully. He felt trapped, like an encaged animal. Everyday, he had to live a life that was not his. Beast Boy was a mask, a façade, that prevented the real him from emerging.

Beast Boy was a goofball. He liked cracking lame jokes and never took things seriously. Beast Boy wasn't smart; he didn't know big words and had little to no knowledge of mathematics and science. Beast Boy loved tofu and playing videogames and probably wouldn't be able to live without these two things in his life.

However, he, Garfield Mark Logan, the boy behind the mask, was different. Garfield took things seriously and he definitely wouldn't crack jokes when the situation was dire. Garfield hated tofu. He found it too squishy and artificial for his taste. He also had no interest in video games. Playing video games strained his eyes and blurred his vision. And Garfield was anything but stupid. He had an intensive knowledge on animals and had a natural talent for mathematics and science, which wasn't surprising, considering that he had professional biologists for parents.

Beast Boy was the exact opposite of Garfield, except for the fact that they both loved making people smile. Beast Boy was who Garfield had to be and who he is now. Beast Boy tried to weaken his mask, let some personalities of Garfield show, but…he couldn't let go. Garfield couldn't let go of Beast Boy, because like it or not, Beast Boy is now a part of him. He had tried to take off the mask once, but couldn't find the confidence to do it. It would raise too much suspicion with his teammates. He couldn't one day be all happy and goofy and the next day be quiet and serious.

Beast Boy picked up a small mirror from the floor and stared at his reflection again. After seeing his reflection for nearly ten years, he still couldn't get used to it. Green used to be his favorite color, but now he utterly despised it. He scratched his skin, trying to get the sickly color off his skin, but he knew that it would never come off. It seems he can never escape the color green. Even his room was green! He just had to be unlucky and get the room that was painted green, didn't he? Yup, that was him, Garfield Mark Logan, the unluckiest guy on this miserable planet.


Beast Boy entered the common room with a big goofy grin pasted on his face.

"Morning, dudes!" Beast Boy said loudly.

"I wish you a most happy and wondrous morning!" Starfire said cheerily, while Robin mumbled a greeting from behind his newspaper.

"What took you so long, BB?! It's almost eleven!" Cyborg said through a mouthful of bacon.

"But you're still eating breakfast." Beast Boy pointed out, grabbing a container of tofu from the fridge.

"This isn't breakfast; this is a meal I have after breakfast and before lunch. Urgh, how can you eat something so disgusting in the morning?!" Cyborg exclaimed, staring at Beast Boy's tofu in disgust.

"What are you talking about, dude? Tofu is the best food in the world! And it smells wonderful too!" Beast Boy said, inwardly gagging at the nauseating smell of tofu.

"Tofu makes your brain rot! See, I eat meat, that's why I'm so smart!" Cyborg said.

"Animal murderer! How can you eat meat?! I turned into most of those animals!" Beast Boy yelled.

Their fight soon escalated into another meat and tofu argument. The other Titans in the room paid them no mind, as it was now a normal morning routine.


After breakfast, Beast Boy sat on the couch with the other Titans to watch some television. Beast Boy was still biting and rolling his tongue, trying to get rid of the nasty taste of tofu. He almost messed up during the meat and tofu fight just now. Instead of yelling 'TOFU', he almost yelled, 'MEAT'. Luckily for him, none of the Titans seemed to notice. Beast Boy tried to calm himself down and get a hold of his emotions. He didn't want Raven to get suspicious if she felt angry or depressive emotions emanating from him.

Beast Boy hated it when he had to be quiet or when nobody was talking, like now. It was easier to maintain the façade when he was talking. It felt like an automatic reaction. Whenever someone talked to him, he would just automatically say something stupid, something only Beast Boy would say. Sometimes, he hated the mask and sometimes he appreciated it. Right now, he hated it, because he felt like the mask controlled him. It controlled every thought, every movement and every word he said.


The rest of the day went by fairly uneventfully and Beast Boy finally retreated back to his room after dinner. Beast Boy climbed onto his upper bunk bed and fell back onto his pillow. He sighed, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, and closed his eyes.

Beast Boy put on a grin, and tried to think about videogames and tofu. He had to do this every night, because those are the only things Beast Boy ever thinks about. Even his dreams are consumed by them. Beast Boy doesn't get nightmares, because he's always happy and has nothing to worry about. Beast Boy can't get nightmares, he's not allowed to. The closest thing he will get to a nightmare is if he dreamed all the tofu in the world disappeared.

Garfield Logan has nightmares. They remind him of his past mistakes and what he could have done to prevent them. The nightmares haunt him every night. This causes him to have a restless night and have below the average amount of sleep a regular person should have. That was why he woke up late every morning, which the other Titans dismissed as laziness.

He felt so pathetic, he even had to lie to himself, convince himself that he's Beast Boy. But he isn't. He's not even Garfield Logan, not anymore. He doesn't know who or what he is, and he doesn't want to find out. Right now, he is Beast Boy, and that is who he has to be for now and forever.