AN: Puppyshipping was something long forgotten for me, but the inspiration hit my head hard this time so I decided to write another fic.
I hope you'll guys like it and I ask you to review. I hope the puppyshippers would love this. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story.
Prologue
My name is Joseph Wheeler. I'm nineteen years old. You may think I sound like I'm in some group therapy or something. And you wouldn't be very far from the truth if you think so.
I'm in a psychiatric hospital, lying on my bed, thinking of nothing particular.
I just let the thoughts go somewhere, anywhere, but away from the life I left out there.
I decided to escape here, away from the people that might hurt me in any way.
I'm fed up with people with fake smiles and fake promises, and people that claim to love me, yet they are ready to step on it all in order to have a short living satisfaction.
I don't want to forgive.
I just want to forget.
For I was ready to do everything to people I love, whatever they wanted me to do.
I was always there.
And they weren't.
It's a simple mathematics.
You may think what I am doing here when all of us have similar issues. But have you ever considered other aspects of my life?
--
They send me letters. My friends, my so called family, all of them. Even he was sending letters before he finally gave up.
You see, I was the only one to give in, to give my heart and my time and my patience.
I was the one to give everything, to risk everything.
It was all for nothing.
My heart was wasted.
But if I start talking now, if I start opening my heart to you, would that mean that I'd have to think about the things that I was desperately trying to leave behind?
Or would it be easier for me to confess once more to someone who would listen to my every word?
I confessed to my shrink first.
And he was telling me those stupid advices he had learned from the book. I could recognize every definition from those books in his words, in his gesticulation, even in the blink of his eye.
He was faking, like all the others. He left his soul outside there doors, leaving me in dark, cold reality.
And I still remember those moments I used to be happy.
I cannot mourn over them if I want to forget.
--
But for you, I can make an exception. I will tell you my story. I will tell you, and you decide whether my place is here or not.
Chapter 1: My family
At the first sight, all of you might think that we were a regular family. What's better than mommy and daddy and two wonderful children?
To make it even better, the first child was male. He could take care of his little sister. He could protect her. He could be pride and the young hope of the Wheeler family.
And that was nice. It was the best family representation.
But behind every picture, there is a story. And this story will show you how the picture is ugly, in fact.
My father was a very beautiful man, but he was kinda clumsy, he was kinda lazy. He was kinda misfortunate.
And one day he got bored of getting fired, of going home, of listening to his children's cries and laughs and footsteps.
He got bored of his wife's vagina and was desperately trying to find a better replacement.
Women would use hi, would rob him after sex and then disappear. But still, according to my father, they were better than my mother's vagina.
My mother was woman of seriousness. Her task was to take care of all of us. She was desperately trying to accomplish everything. She had to be perfect in her role of mother and housewife. She had to be satisfying in bed. She had to wash the dishes and clean the dust and do all other chores, make lunch and look flawless at the same time.
Any normal person knew that even Terminator couldn't accomplish such thing.
But my father had a different opinion.
Let me tell you something about a daily routine of ours.
My father gets back from work, all grumpy and tired of doing nothing. My mother rushes to take his coat of and his shoes off. And then she offers him beer to drink in the meantime. She then rushes to set the table.
After we're done with our lunch, she has to clean up the table, to do all other chores before she begins to make dinner.
If I wasn't that little, if I just understood, I would have helped her.
After the dinner, she must put us in bed and then clean the mess we had left after we left the dining table. And then, if she has enough energy to take shower, she'd take shower.
When she lies down, all tired, my father wants something that all the men want.
And she's just too tired.
And once, when I was passing by, in order to go to bathroom, I heard him say: "Don't get mad, but if you can't give me what I want, there is a plenty of women that can. Don't say later I didn't warn you."
I was old enough then to get infuriated by his statement, to understand somewhat that the hell was beginning.
--
One day, he got fired. The other day he got drunk. The third day he brought a whore. And the fourth day the whore was living with us and my mother had to do all the things she used to do before. Except she had to support one extra member.
--
All I could see was my sister's tars. All I could hear was their voices, their arguments and all I could run into were flying objects.
All I could smell was the smell of alcohol.
My mother was crying as well, and I was unable to help her.
But I promised myself one thing and that was that I would protect my sister no matter what.
And I intended to keep that promise.
--
Once when I was old enough, I stepped before my father in order to save my mother from his fist and I got a black eye.
I was protecting her and she was looking at me with those sad eyes, showing her gratefulness by leaving in a short period later.
She took the only thing that was making me happy. She separated us and left me behind.
I was the rock around her neck. And she was a traitor to me.
--
For years I was trying to kill my emotions, to stop feeling. I knew that my emotions were my weakness.
I had no one to live for. I joined Hirutani. I knew it was bad thing to do, but that was my only escape from reality.
With him, I didn't care how dangerous it was. I was a street punk, and a good one. I had reputation I gained respect.
I was loyal to Hirutani and he definitely knew how to reward me.
He killed my abusive father, telling me that I wouldn't have to hide bruises, lying that I earned them from the gang's enemies.
He seemed to understand what I was going through. It seemed he knew my pain.
And for a tiny little moment, I was feeling safe, under his roof.
But the truth was always uglier than the picture.
Oh, yes. It was only the beginning.
--
AN:
