It started with a story. Told by a narrator. The audience listened, or at least pretended to at first, then wondered off when they got bored. He, the narrator, was sat on a rock. The script in his hand: it was there purely as a guide, for most of the story he would ad lib.
He cleared his throat. Coughed, opened his mouth. Decided he needed a drink of water. He drank. He cleared his throat again. Coughed a little bit more. Cleared his throat one last time. And he began.
"Frodo, accompanied by Sam and Golem, stood on the ridge."
His first sentence was a bit of an anticlimax really, what with all the coughing and clearing of his throat... Anyway back to the narrator, who was reading his script (as narrators generally tend to do..)
"It was high, and dangerous, and really rather scary looking. Below them was a 500-metre drop, onto jagged, pointed, scary, dangerous, evil, painful looking rocks.
"Above them the purple clouds grumbled angrily and the dark grey sky shadowed everything. And then, with a rip roaring crack the clouds parted... the sun popped it's head out to join in the fun. In a small child's drawing the sun would have a hat on, and sunglasses, and a smiling face, and somewhere nearby somebody would be singing "the sun has got his hat on, hip hip hip hip hooray..." But this isn't a small child's drawing, and nobody really gives a damn about the sun in real life. The sun scowled angrily down at the narrator who couldn't tell, because the brightness of the sun was blinding him. He (the sun) threw off his glasses and hat and stopped grinning.
I liked wearing those glasses, they made me feel special, he moaned.
The narrator glanced up at the sun, shielding his eyes with his hands.
Hey look mate, don't blame me. I'm a mere narrator telling a story. You wanna blame someone you blame the author, said the narrator (who is so unimportant he has no name)"
He threw his script down. And stamped a bit.
Oi, cried the narrator, I may just be a narrator but I still have feelings,
Then, from the midst of nowhere a large crowd of people emerged shouting "get on with it"...
