Silver entered her home silently and cautiously looked around the living room for her Mother. Suddenly she heard screaming from the other side of the house.
"You useless bastard, good for nothing jerk…"
Silver traced the noise to the kitchen. She closed her eyes momentarily and leaned against the door jamb, bracing herself for what she was about to walk in on. She nudged open the kitchen door and peeked in to assess the situation.
Jackie was still dressed in the same robe she had on when Silver had left 8 hours ago and was clinging onto the neck of a Vodka bottle, screaming at a potted plant.
"How dare you treat me like that, you'll be sorry you ever messed with the likes of meee!" Jackie wailed at the plant.
Silver backed away from the door hoping her Mother had not noticed her presence in the room. She made a quick exit to her room. All she wanted to do was escape. As she climbed the stairs to her room she wondered how her life had gotten so messed up.
Hours later, the house was silent and Silver thought it might be safe to scrounge up some dinner. She passed through the house as quietly as possible, for the longer she could go without her Mom realising she was there, the better. She stopped short upon entering the living room; her Mom was on the couch. But Silver quickly realised that she had passed out; she breathed a little easier knowing that there wouldn't be a war waged tonight. Silver eyeballed the half empty bottle of Vodka propped up next to her Mom and took it into the kitchen with her. She dumped the contents in the sink, got some food and went back to her room and her beloved laptop.
*THUD*
Silver's bedroom door was flung open and slammed against the wall.
"You ungrateful bitch, who do you think you are pouring out my Vodka!" Silver bolted upright in her bed. Her Mom was standing in her doorway, eyes bloodshot as could be and swaying erratically with rage and intoxication. Silver glanced at the clock on her nightstand; it was quarter to 3 in the morning.
"Look at me when I am talking to you, you brat! Just who in the hell do you think you are?" Jackie screamed, advancing towards her bed. Silver had to think fast to stop the situation from getting as bad as she knew it could.
"Mom, what are you talking about? I didn't pour it out, I didn't throw it away, I put it away… It's in the bar!" Silver lied, hoping there was still a near full bottle left behind the bar. "You must have finished the other bottle yesterday."
Jackie paused and glared at her daughter, trying to decipher whether she was lying or not.
"You better not be lying to me young lady or so help me…"
Jackie left the room in search of the bottle. Luckily for Silver, that bottle was still there and Jackie drank some more before stumbling up the stairs again. Silver remained sitting in her bed hugging her knees to her chest until she heard her Mom's door slam nearly an hour later. She let out a shaky breath as she laid her head on her knees. She knew full well that the events of tonight could have been catastrophic. She began wistfully thinking about her sister. Surely Kelly knew what life was like for her, she lived it too when she was younger. Why didn't Kelly do something? Why didn't she get her out of this hell? She lifted her head as a tear traced its' way down her cheek. She lay back down again knowing she could go back to sleep and fell asleep the same way she always did – curled up in a ball clutching Hero tightly against her chest. As her eyelids got heavier, she mumbled her prayer that had become somewhat of a mantra over the past 2 years – "Please help Mom God… Please make Kelly realise I need her. God help us all…" and with that she fell into a restless sleep.
Silver awoke the next morning to the sun streaming through her window. She bypassed the bathroom and checked on her Mom, relieved to see she was still very out of it. She got ready for school, grateful for the Math Lab that was scheduled for that afternoon. That would prolong her return home by 2 hours. Silver wasn't naturally studious, but things had gotten to a point where she embraced any excuse to be anywhere but home, and the after school tutorials proved to be an excellent distraction. She had an A- average since school went back in September, she surprised even herself with her grades. Since Kelly worked at the school, she checked in with Silver's teachers and tried to do so inconspicuously, failing miserably. Although it slightly amused Silver to see the instant change in demeanour and hear the volume rise whenever she came across Kelly talking to one of her teachers. Kelly made sure Silver knew how proud she was of her. Even so, Silver often wondered if Kelly blamed her for her troubled relationship with their Mother. Her Mom sure made it clear to Silver that it was her fault Kelly hated her, and the thought of Kelly possibly harbouring those feelings towards her kept Silver from confiding in Kelly about the situation at home. She was too afraid to even speak about their Mom for fear that she'd find out that Kelly too thought that she was to blame for her family's disarray.
Silver hurriedly threw her books and her laptop into her bag before quietly letting herself into her Mom's room, leaving some aspirin and water on her bedside table for when she woke up. With that she rushed out of the house, relieved to be free for a few hours.
Although when Silver thought about it, school wasn't a whole lot of fun either. She was infamous at school for her Blog, which she appropriately named 'The Vicious Circle' as a bleak commentary on life. While the school revelled in each new Blog, no one was really game enough to try and befriend Silver. After seeing some of the things she wrote about, people were rather terrified of being on the receiving end of it and felt it safer to steer clear. Not that Silver minded too much, it saved her the task of thinking up a multitude of reasons why no one could ever come to her place. The only drawback of it all was that she lived a lonely existence. Kelly was always busy with Sammy, and even if she wasn't, Silver didn't want to be a burden or an annoyance to her sister. Her Dad has been out of the picture since her Mom started drinking again and David sent her the odd email, but she wasn't close with him. By this point in her life, Silver had some pretty problematic trust issues. She forgot what it felt like to enjoy anything or be happy. She barely felt anything anymore. She was always so exhausted and drained from her home life, constantly walking on eggshells around her Mom trying not to set off the time bomb she became when she drank. It took all her energy to go through the motions of daily life. She was beginning to lose her hope that things would ever get better.
Pulling into the car park at school, she noticed a large group of sophomores captivated by something. Silver ambled over to check it out and was disgusted to see them all watching Ethan and Naomi making out in a horrifyingly graphic PDA. Seriously, had these sheep never seen the Discovery Channel? She walked away shaking her head.
