This is the sequel to I Promise but you don't have to read that to understand this. Kogan, not pre-slash, not brotherly, pure Kogan slash
Rating is M for child abuse and curse words.
Logan was running home, he was late.
It was his thirteenth birthday and his friends wanted to play hockey before they all had to go home. He should have went straight home, though. His father was sure to be drunk and pissed. Every year this would happen, Scott Mitchell would get drunk and beat on his son and wife for being alive.
Logan flinched at the memories.
His friends were always there for him, but they didn't know the hell that Scott put Logan and Joanna through. If they did, Scott would make them pack up and move away, Logan wouldn't know what to do without his friends so he kept his mouth shut.
When Logan reached his house he took a deep breath, knowing that he wouldn't get a full one in until Scott left the house for another one of his trips that he took. He slowly walked up the steps, slipping and stumbling on the ice. He opened the door gently, hoping against hope that his father was passed out instead of alert.
"Hello, Logan." Scott's baritone voice cut through the eerie silence that his home is always full of.
Logan just nods his head and scans the room, looking for his mother, hoping she wouldn't have to see any of this. She didn't deserve any of this.
"You whore of a mother is in the kitchen, so it's just you and me." Scott says, his smile turning wicked.
Logan knew that meant that she had already had her beating for the day and was nursing her wounds. He closed his eyes and sighed dejectedly, he wished his mom would pack up and call the police, that would hardly work, his dad was on the force with Carlos' dad. And while Chief Garcia didn't trust officer Mitchell, that didn't mean that he was a cop, and it wouldn't make sense for a cop to beat his son and wife regularly.
That's what Logan thought.
"Look at me!" Scott roars, forcing Logan's chin up with his hand, the same hand that has tortured him and his mother for far too long.
In a fit of rage, Logan looked at his father defiantly and spit out, "you don't deserve to have mom!" He couldn't think of anything better, so he had to play his cards to his advantage.
"I am your father! You will treat me with respect!" Scott roared again, livid. Backhanding Logan, making him dizzy.
"You're not my father, and you never will be, Scott." Logan said calmly, and staring his father straight in the eye, challenging him.
Big mistake.
"You little bitch! Just like your mother, you have to be taught a lesson the hard way!" Scott spits, taking a serated pocket knife out of his pocket and slicing Logan's stomach where another cut had just healed.
Logan screamed, louder than he had before and his father kept slicing at his stomach. Logan's vision was hazy, the beginning effects of blood loss. Logan smiled sadly, wishing he didn't know this like the back of his hand. He could faintly hear screams in the background, he couldn't tell whether they were his or someone else's.
"POLICE PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!" He heard a familiar voice shout, following a loud crash. The peircing stings of the blade were replaced with a faint pressure on his abdomen.
"Son? Logan, are you okay? Logan! Look at me kid!" He heard Chief Garcia's worried shouts and saw his father being dragged out of the house, shouting and cursing.
"Logan!" He heard Chief Garcia's voice again and looked at him. "Thank God, Logan, can you tell me where it hurts?" He asks Logan, softly hitting him on the face, keeping him from passing out.
"Stomach." Logan muttered weakly his eyes drifting shut.
"Logan you gotta stay awake buddy. I NEED A MEDIC!" Chief shouted.
"Wanna sleep." Logan whined, the pain in his stomach almost forgotten.
"Not yet buddy, soon. Today's your birthday right? Well Carlitos and the boys are gonna bring you lots of gifts." Chief says, hoping that the boy will survive.
"Don't tell 'em. Scott'll make us move again." Logan whimpered and Chief smiled sadly.
"Scott won't hurt you again buddy, I can promise you that" Chief says before he hears sirens and paramedics flood the living room and putting Logan on a gurney.
"You'll be fine buddy." He hears before his eyes drift shut.
Logan shoots up in bed, soaked in sweat and tears. He gasps for breath, the nightmare wasn't just a nightmare. Chief Garcia didn't have to tell the boys what happened, they figured it out on there own, and helped Logan recover. The moms, even Brooke, helped Joanna recover as well.
Logan slowly gets out of bed, and goes to the bathroom where he gets a good look at his torso and arms. His stomach and chest were littered with scars of various length and shade, all givin to him by Scott and he scowls. His arms were covered in scars he inflicted on himself, he thought that was the only way to deal with the pain and pressure, but he was wrong.
When Kendall found him in the bathroom, hands and sink covered in blood, he came to the conclusion that he would help Logan, whether he wants it or not.
He hasn't cut since that day, and him and Logan were getting to the point that you wouldn't see one without the other. Which wasn't good for Logan's crush on Kendall. Though Logan didn't know that Kendall wouldn't mind the crush.
Every time Logan had the urge to cut, he would go to Kendall and talk. Talk about everything, nothing, and everything in between. Sometimes it was about the reason for him to want to cut, other times it was about hockey, burgers, or the guys. Anything to keep Logan from hurting himself.
Kendall never pushed Logan for answers, although sometimes Kendall would get frustrated at Logan's lack of answering, he knew that they needed to take the healing process at Logan's pace.
Logan looked at his scars once more before turning in disgust and marching toward the room he and Kendall had shared since they moved to Hollywood. He passed James and Carlos' room and heard two sets of soft snoring, letting him know that at least two of his bandmates were getting good sleep. Logan never stayed asleep all night, and not just because of nightmares, he was just a night owl. Kendall hadn't been getting a good sleep lately either, he would be up at five in the morning and not once for a while had he heard Kendall talk in his sleep, like he did every time he was sleeping well.
Normally, when Logan couldn't sleep he would listen to Kendall's somewhat incoherent rambling lull him into sleep or bring a smile to his face when he was dreaming about hockey. Which he did very often.
When Logan got back to the room, he slipped a shirt on and climbed into his bed on the other side of the room of Kendall's.
"Logan?" He heard Kendall mumble sleepily.
Thinking it was just him sleep talking again, Logan closed his eyes with a content smile on his face.
"Logan? You awake?" He heard Kendall whisper.
Deciding Kendall was not sleep talking, he decided to respond. "Yeah, what do you want Kendall?" Logan asked his roommate.
"Why were you up?" Kendall asks him, always ready to listen to Logan's ramblings, which he secretly found endearing, even if his ramblings sometimes consisted of stuff he had no clue about.
"Couldn't sleep." Logan said simply, turning to lie down on his back.
"You wanna talk about it?" Kendall asked, knowing by the tone of his voice that this was not the insomnia that Logan was known for and that he had a nightmare.
"I wouldn't know where to start." Logan murmurs, knowing that Kendall won't take that as an answer.
"C'mere" He hears Kendall say. He looks over to see Kendall sitting up and patting the spot next to him. Logan thanks every god he can think of that he put on a shirt and that the room is dark so Kendall can't see his blush.
He slowly stood up and walked over to Kendall's bed, sitting next to him. Kendall puts an arm around his shoulders and and Logan slowly relaxes to the embrace. It''s no secret in the apartment that Logan gets the most physical attention, the boys and Mama K, along with Katie, knowing that what his father did to him won't heal over night and he needs more physical attention, hugs, pats on the back, ruffling of hair, etc. and even then he wouldn't be completely used to it years later.
It's been three years, and he still tenses when someone puts a hand on him.
"The beginning is always a good place." Kendall mumbles, clearly sleepy, but giving up sleep knowing that if he fell asleep again he would have another one of those dreams about Logan. Leading to improper thoughts that day and uncomfortable situations in the sound booth.
Logan went on to explain his nightmare, in depth, (Kendall would know if he left something out) stopping every once in a while when he felt Kendall's arm flex, a tell tale sign that he was pissed, and then continuing when it relaxed and Kendall took a couple deep breaths.
"I wish I could stop that from happening Logan" Kendall murmurs, knowing that Logan knows what he means.
"Don't blame yourself Kendall, I should have told you guys." Logan says, ashamed of his actions.
"I know Logan, and I'm not, I just wish that you had a normal childhood. You didn't deserve any of that. You know that right?" Kendall explains, then asks the question Logan had been dreading.
Instead of replying, Logan averts his eyes to the alarms clock that reads 3:56 AM.
"Logan." Kendall says before sighing heavily and looking at Logan's profile, wondering how someone can harm a child, let alone Logan, so much. Scott didn't just give Logan physical scars, he scarred Logan on the inside as well. Kendall can see the way that Logan flinches every time Gustavo yells at them, and how when he or someone else touches him he tenses up, waiting for the blow that won't come. He also sees the blank empty look in his eyes when someone is talking about their dad. He also sees how every time he talks about Scott, the way his eyes fill with un-shed tears and sadness. His heart is broken, but the boys, Mama K, and Katie are slowly fixing him. And Kendall can see that too.
"Logan, look at me." Kendall says softly, knowing that that is one of the things his father said to him that night. When Logan doesn't comply, Kendall softly lifts Logan's chin with his hand, and Logan slowly meets Kendall's eyes. "Don't blame yourself, if you do that you'll never get closure." Kendall knows he dounds like a shrink, but he can't bring himself to care. Without thinking, he slowly brings his lips to Logan's. It's soft and loving, and Logan melts at the gesture. When Kendall pulls back he searches Logan's eyes, he can read Logan like a book, and sees shock.
"God Logan I'm so sorry, I mean I wasn't think-" Kendall sputters for an answer.
"Shut up Kendall." Logan says simply before kissing Kendall back. Kendall freezes for a moment before kissing Logan back gently, hoping that this won't be the last. He puts his hands on Logan's hips and Logan tenses before smiling against Kendall's lips and putting his hands in Kendall's hair.
They break apart, both breathing heavily, gulping down air. "What was that?" Kendall asks Logan.
"You started it." Was Logan's childish reply.
"I'm glad I did." Kendall says looking at Logan.
"Why?" Logan asks, clearly confused.
"Cause I've had a crush on you for years, Logan." Kendall says after a moments hesitation he adds, "I've always loved you Logan."
"I love you too Kendall." Logan says, Kendall seeing only a small trace of the fear that is usually in his eyes along with love and adoration.
That night, they fell asleep in each others arms. When James came to wake the boys up, he got Carlos and they high fived, deciding to let the new couple sleep in that day.
Read and review, flames are used to heat up the house. I like reading by a fire,
