Hetalia is owned by Hidekaz Himaruya, this fanfiction is owned by me.

(This chapter: SpUK. Also 'puta' is Spanish for 'whore')

"Puta, puta puta~" a little boy sang, as he walked into his house.

Antonio went pale upon hearing his son's foul language. "Carlos, what did you just say?!" he enquired sternly, bending down to the child's level.

"Puta, Papa!" Carlos repeated proudly. "I'm a puta, you're a puta, Daddy's a puta~"

Antonio put his hands on his son's shoulders. "Carlos, puta is a very naughty word," he explained, "You're not to say it to anyone, got it?"

"Why not?! I heard Uncle Lovino saying it loads today!" the boy protested.

Antonio paled yet again. "You…What?"

"Yeah, he kept saying it to some lady when he was on the phone!" Carlos reported proudly. "He must like puta an awful lot, because he was yelling it really loud!"

Antonio was seriously regretting having his younger brother babysit his son now. I'm an idiot, I should have known this would happen, he thought to himself.

"I think your Daddy and I need to have a little chat with Uncle Lovino," he told Carlos. "You run along now."

Carlos quickly obeyed his father and ran off to play, leaving Antonio to look for his husband.

"Our son picked up a…colourful word today," he informed Arthur when he found him.

Arthur spat out the tea he'd drinking. "What?! What word?!"

"Carlos told me he'd learned 'puta' from Lovino," Antonio sighed embarrassedly.

Arthur went wide eyed. "That little…" he growled, "I'm going to kill Lovino! Oh, I knew we should have sent him to Alfred's instead!"

And with that, Arthur grabbed his phone and called Lovino, unleashing a barrage of insults down the line. Antonio cringed as his husband's language became more…inappropriate. And just to top it all off, Carlos happened to hear the commotion…

"Papa? What does dickface mean?" Carlos enquired, alerting Antonio.

Antonio paled once more when he noticed his son behind him. "I thought I told you to run along," he babbled, taking the boy's tiny hand and leading him out of the room.

And here's the first of my ten one shots! There will be nine more parts to this one shot collection, as thanks for ten favourites! Each chapter will involve a different pairing, I haven't decided what pairings to include yet though. Well, see ya!

Kitty x