Post Season 6.
All American Rejects - Move Along.
Move Along.
"Sir, he hasn't left the perimeter yet, I'm sending the team out."
Heller stood facing the large bay window, leaning heavily on the ledge he stared out through the gap in the blinds. He held a hand suspended midair to prevent his head of security from fulfilling his intentions; he could see Jack himself, his dark figure holding onto the wooden fencing which stood on the cliff tops.
"Give him a minute," Heller said quietly, before turning his head slightly so all he could see were the material of the blinds. Still, the image of Jack facing the cliffs hovered in his mind. He blinked a few times and sighed heavily, hating the weight Jack's presence hefted onto his shoulders. He pitied the man, but given the condition of Audrey, his presence terrified him, she was fragile and although not entirely logical, Heller was scared the mere sight of her former partner would break the little that was left of his daughter.
Long minutes passed into an hour. A wind blew against the window panes, but it's howl couldn't be heard over the sound of the rough sea crashing against the rocks. The sound used to sooth Heller, but now it made him feel nervous, on edge - the background noise no longer a comfort but an unwanted, irritating distraction. Only the chime of the grandfather clock allowed Heller to realise the passage of time. He realised Jason was still stood in the room, looking at the small television screen, watching Jack on the CCTV surveillance camera.
"Sir?" Jason said, his eyes still fixed on the screen. Heller glanced through the slits of material out onto the lawn and could see Jack in the distance, now pacing back on forth before dropping to his knees and resting his head against the rotting wood. After a few moments he got back to his feet and stared out at the sea again before beginning to pace once more.
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Heller's curiosity grew as he wondered what thoughts Jack was contemplating. So much, the man had been through so much, his emotional baggage should be overflowing. Feeling his stomach clench he realised he was feeling sorrow for the man. Not wanting to let his defences down Heller ordered Jack to be removed from the property.
"By any means?" Jason asked, knowing Jack's history with Audrey and feeling undermined by his earlier ease at surpassing their small team and gaining entrance into the home, armed.
"Gently," Heller said replied softly.
"What is he resists?"
"He wont," Heller said, knowing, somehow, that right now, Jack's fight was gone.
"He threatened you with a gun earlier," he protested.
"I give the orders, you follow them," Heller snapped, "now get on with it. And no more screw ups. I'm watching you, remember," he snarled, knowing it was Jack who had made his temper short, not Jason, but needing to take it out on somebody.
Jason left without a word. Heller watched as he and another man, both clad in suits, slowly walked down the long pebbled path in Jack's direction, rubbing their hands together to fight the cold approaching night. His attention was lost when he heard a high pitched whimper come from within the house. Taking a breath Heller turned from the window and slowly headed towards his daughters bedroom.
Jack watched as the men approached, different ways of dealing with the situation ran through his mind as though on film. One hand slid towards the gun tucked in the back of his jeans, the other hand clenched tightly into a fist, but to his and the men's surprise, before they reached him he simply turned and walked away. As he walked Jack wondered where to go; he had no home, he had no money, he had nothing. His clothes were still damp and the cold wind made him shiver as he walked the streets.
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
He thought of Kim but realised quickly that he didn't know where she lived, and even if he did he probably wasn't welcome. He thought of Marilyn and then the trauma she and Josh had endured. Heller's words rushed back into his mind: 'You're cursed Jack…' Marilyn and Josh were lucky to be alive, Jack didn't want to temp fate, and he refused to think about the death of his brother and instead simply shut his mind down. It was easier that way, and helped to battle the guilt building up inside of him each time he thought of Audrey. He felt weak, the cold making him weaker, he knew he couldn't sleep on the streets, but where could he go?
Hours later he knocked on a wooden door, Chloe answered it immediately, a smile of relief on her face. "Jack!" Her voice stalled, she was pleased to see him, she had feared never seeing him again when Bill returned to CTU alone. She pulled him into a slight embrace then pulled away embarrassed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable. Anyway," she said, now grasping his hands in hers and leading him inside, "come in, come in! You're so cold," she said, rubbing his hands as if he were a small child. Once inside she closed the door and locked it, the action making Jack instantly feel more comfortable. He had yet to utter a single word to explain and apologise for his presence. Chloe exhaled again, the relief was evident. "I'm so glad you came," she said, and for the first time on almost two years, Jack smiled.
When Chloe led Jack into the sitting room Morris jumped from his seat to happily greet the man. "We've been so worried," he said, "thank God you're okay, well, as well as is to be expected…" Jack looked down, feeling awkward. Chloe tapped him on the shoulder to gain his attention, "don't worry," she said, ignoring the slight tremor that ran through him at the contact, "my awkwardness has started to pub off on him. Anyway," she said, changing the subject, "you're wet and dirty and as much as I love you you're not sitting on my cream couch until you clean up." She felt a sudden blush rush up to her cheeks as she realised what she had said. "Oh, Gosh, I don't mean it like that, I just-"
"It's okay," Morris cut in, "I'm not the jealous type." Jack watched the interaction between them both numbly, feeling like an intruder as he saw clearly the bond and comfort between the two. That should be me and Audrey, he thought, but instead I'll never see her again. "Come on," Morris' voice dragged him back to reality, "bathrooms this way."
Morris led the way, but Jack stalled and turned back to face Chloe. "When you're ready, do you think we could… talk?" Jack smiled at her request but didn't want to burden her with his worries. "We can try," he offered honestly. "Thank you," he said, and Chloe shrugged, "for what?" she asked, genuinely confused. "For letting me come here, for taking me in, for being yourself." "Oh," Chloe smiled, "you're welcome, I guess."
So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
After Jack re-emerged clean and was granted permission to take a seat on the sofa, Morris cooked and made sure both Chloe and their guest ate as much as they possibly could. After dinner small talk didn't last long, all three were exhausted from the long harrowing day they had each endured.
"I'm going to bed," Morris said, "I trust Chloe can show you to the guest room" he continued before leaving, wanting to leave the two alone, expecting that they had a lot to say to each other but also unsure if either would actually say anything at all.
Once alone, Chloe finally broke the ice. "I'm so glad you're home, that what happened- that everything is over."
Jack nodded his head but added nothing, wondering to himself if it ever would be over - would Audrey recover, would Philips body be found - would he ever feel normal again?
"I suppose the government will try and overlook your medical care," she said timidly, trying to get Jack to open up at all.
"I don't need any care," he growled, and then sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't want to take my anger out on you."
"It's okay," she said as she patted his hand softly, "what are you angry about - asides from the obvious," she added, knowing she was making no sense and cursing herself for not thinking before she spoke.
"I saw Audrey earlier," Jack confessed, "I broke into Heller's home."
Chloe raised her eyebrows but added nothing.
"I saw her. I decided… I decided I have to leave her alone. If she has any chance of recovering, I don't want to hinder that."
"Heller is wrong," Chloe cut in, "what he said earlier to you was a weak attempt to pass his own guilt onto you."
"How do you know about that?"
Chloe smile sheepishly, "I hacked into the surveillance feeds. I hope you don't think that I was spying on you, or being nosey, I was just worried."
"Its okay, Heller was right."
"You know where I stand on that," she said seriously, "but I won't try and convince you otherwise, you have to realise for yourself that Heller is wrong."
"Fair enough," Jack whispered. As he looked up at Chloe he realised he had more he wanted to say to her. He didn't know why he felt the sudden need to confide in her, but he trusted her and felt his words would be forever safe between them.
"I was going to kill Heller," he said suddenly. Chloe opened her mouth in shock and then shut it again. Then she opened it again and began to babble. "Oh Jack, that's really serious. I'm so glad you didn't, that wouldn't have done yourself any favours."
"I couldn't. I wanted to, I was going to. I wanted to shoot him," he said, trying to work his thoughts into coherent words. "But then I realised, it wasn't him I wanted to kill. Despite what he said, and even though he didn't try and bring me back from China, I still respect him. I didn't want to kill him Chloe, I wanted to kill myself."
"Jack-" Chloe cut in, tears in her eyes, but he continued on.
"Everything that happened today, I feel responsible for it. I killed my brother, I left my father for dead - I killed Curtis, my friend-"
"You didn't have a choice. You are not responsible. Your family were responsible for their own actions, you aren't to blame for the consequences. They got what they deserved."
Jack looked at her and shook his head. "I just don't know what to think. For so long, I've programmed myself to shut everything away, to block it out. I don't have to do that now and everything is rushing around in my head. I just don't know what to do, what to think - its all a mess."
"That's to be expected. Listen," she said, suddenly taking command, "you need to rest. You need to recover - whether you think you do or not, you do need to recover. You can't expect yourself to deal with all of this immediately, you've been through a lot, so much all at once, give your mind time to process things, to think about them. You don't have to deal with everything this instant, mull it over. I hate to be so cliché, but time really does heal."
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
Jack smiled and looked down at his hands, only just realising that Chloe was still gently tapping his hand as she spoke, emphasising each syllable. He looked down at her small, soft hands covering his scars' the image somehow comforted him.
"I think I need to sleep," he said, choosing to neither disagree or agree with her words.
"I think that's a good idea," she said with sarcasm, "come on, guest room is this way."
She followed him into the room and smiled appreciatively when she saw the pile of old clothes Morris had left on the chair. "I guess something in there will do you to sleep in," she said, "I'll let you figure that one out."
"Thanks," he said as he began to sift through the clothes.
"Well, goodnight."
"Chloe," he called as she hovered in the landing, "I love you too."
We move along
