a/n: I couldn't get this episode off of my mind this morning, so naturally I had to get this written down. I hope you all enjoy it! Special thanks to burningxredxcaskett for the amazing cover art and for being my lovely beta! I didn't send her the ending so all blame is on me if there's something wrong. As usual I do not own these lovely characters! And I might add, while the end of last night's episode left my jaw hanging open, I completely trust the writers and can't wait to see what they do next week! That's all for now, xoxo K
"You don't get to walk away."
She swiped a hand under her eyes, removing the trace of tears as best she could. It didn't do any good. The trail of mascara already dried down her cheeks gave her away.
She turned around. "Rick, I - "
He shook his head from the doorway as though he couldn't bring himself to touch her, not yet.
He was losing it. He could feel himself spiraling down, breath hitching in his chest, but his gaze never wavered. He forced himself to look her in the eye.
"You don't get to leave me." He raised a hand to stop her from interrupting. "We've been through so much to let it go now. Bombs, tigers, shootings, disappearances on both our parts. We didn't make it through all of that, together I might add, to separate ourselves now. We said always, Kate. I meant it. I thought you did too."
She took a hesitant step towards him, but he didn't move. He was frozen in place, unable to think, unable to even fathom what his life would be like if she walked away from him. If anything happened to her while she was fighting whatever demon this was now, he would never forgive himself.
"Rick. This is to protect you. To keep you, Alexis, Martha, my dad, hell even the boys safe. I have to do this so we can have the life we want."
He stood a little straighter as she closed the distance between them and rested a tentative hand on his arm.
"It's because I love you so much, Rick. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you."
"How do you think I feel?" he exploded, causing her grip to tighten on his arm as he attempted to move away. "Do you think it will be easy for me to know you're fighting this, whatever this is, alone?" A tear escaped and skated it's way down his cheek. He didn't even bother wiping it away. She wondered if he even realized it was there.
She looked down at her feet, shame washing over her. "No, I don't think it will be easy for you. I just need you to trust me."
He shook his head. "I do trust you, Kate. I do. But," he paused, took a deep breath. "If you do this, if you walk away, even though it will kill me, I can't be here waiting. You need to decide. This latest demon, or our life. I'll help you fight this demon, I swear I will. But I won't watch you fight it alone. I won't spend every minute of every day waiting for a phone call to tell me you're dead. I won't do it. But i'll help you fight. You know as well as I do that together we're unstoppable. Together, we're magic. I'd rather have one more tomorrow, fighting with you, than a million more without you by my side."
He took a ragged breath, scared to look her in the eye, scared of what he might find. When he gathered the courage, when he looked at her, she looked towards the elevator and his heart sank.
He could feel their forever slipping away.
But rather than move away from him, she dropped her duffel at their feet, and closed the remaining foot between them as she threw her arms around his neck and drew him in for a slow, deep kiss.
When they finally broke apart, she smiled at him. "You're right. I want to protect you, to keep you safe, but in order to do that, I have to have your back. I can't protect you if I'm not here. This isn't going to be easy, Rick. But with you, I know we have a better chance. I couldn't lose you. Not now, not ever."
Relief flooded through him. She chose him. She chose them.
He rested his chin on the top of her head and wrapped his arms snuggly around her waist. "Can the fight wait until tomorrow? I just want to take a night and pretend, just pretend that our lives are normal. I want to watch Netflix, order Chinese, and drink some wine with my beautiful wife. Tomorrow is a new day. Can it hold one more night? Please?"
He looked so much like a child then with his large, cerulean eyes wide with pleading. She could picture it then. She'd been able to see it before, because of him, only with him, but now the vision was so much clearer. A little boy who looked just like his father, hair flopping over his forehead, eyes wild with mischief, keeping the two of them on their toes. Not a demon in sight.
That's when it hit her. She could have that. Right here, right now. The demon could be someone else's cross to bear. It didn't have to be her. It didn't have to be them. Why would she want to risk losing everything? This man right here is more than worth giving up the fight. This man and everything a life with him could be. All she had to do was let someone else fight the battles. She's been fighting for too long. It's someone else's turn.
Right now, it's time for always.
She pulled away and reached down to twine her fingers with his. He leaned over and picked up the duffel bag before he followed her inside and closed the door.
"I don't know what came over me, Rick. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I put you through that." The tears were back again, flowing freely down her face as she realized everything she almost lost just minutes ago.
He pulled her over to the couch and into his lap where she curled around him like a child. He stroked her hair absentmindedly as he whispered soothingly in her ear. Murmurs of love and promises of a life together with so many possibilities.
"That's what I want," she interrupted suddenly, pushing back to look him in the eye. "I want a future for us. I want little Castles running around the loft wreaking havoc on us all."
He couldn't help it, he laughed. A short burst of a thing that startled her. There was joy dancing in his eyes again. Had it only been a matter of days since she had last seen that look? It felt like an eternity.
"But what about the fight?" he asked, suddenly serious.
She placed her hands on his cheeks, rested her forehead on his. "I'm bowing out. It's not worth it. When we were out in the hall - I - you looked like a little boy. I had this vision of a little boy of ours who looked just like his Daddy, and I realized that's the future I want. I don't want to spend the rest of my life chasing after something that will turn into something else. I meant what I said before. It's a rabbit hole. I don't want to get sucked down. I want you. I want to have little Castle babies. I want to live to be old and boring with you."
"Boring? Boring? Babe, you and I will never be boring. Old, maybe one day, but never boring."
She laughed and offered him a playful grin. "Some of us are already old."
He looked at her in mock horror. "Katherine Beckett, I can't believe you'd call yourself old!"
She smacked his arm as he pulled her to him.
"But seriously Rick. That's what I want for us. No more dragons. No demons. Just regular old police work, and our life lived by our rules."
"Couldn't have said it better myself." He kissed the top of her head and she leaned back into the broad expanse of his chest.
"Hey Rick," Kate began.
"Yeah?"
"About that baby…"
He peered around to see her face, squinting skeptically.
"Yeah?"
"I was thinking maybe we could practice, and if we happened to get pregnant, then so be it."
"You want to - I mean, are you - "
"But if you don't want to - "
"Are you kidding me? Of course I want to! We'll name him Cosmo, and he'll be badass just like his mom!"
She stood from the couch and pulled him up with her.
"We are not naming our son Cosmo." She led the way to the bedroom, an eager husband trailing behind her.
"Cosmo's a great name. I don't hear you offering any suggestions."
She backed him towards the bed. "We'll talk. Later. Right now I've got plans for you."
He laughed, a low rumble in the back of his throat.
"No complaints here."
Thanks for reading! xo - K
