June 8, 2013
Dear Diary, I've been extremely depressed lately and I can't quite pinpoint why.
I've just felt really numb to everything around me. I haven't even really wanted to talk to close friends. I can barely eat anything and I can't tell why. I'm just ugh. Other than that I guess there's nothing else to really say. Bye.
"It's time for dinner, we're having one of you're favorites!", called my mom from downstairs. (Sigh) I put down the book and came out of the bedroom for the first time that day. "Ah, there you are", sighs my mom. I just wave back. "Pizza, again?".
"Well it seems to be the only thing you want to eat."
… Not the only thing.
Everything is to silent tonight, I should say something. "Ahem, I drew this really cool thing today. I really like it."
Dad just looks up and smiles.
Something's wrong.
"Mom, dad, what's the matter?"
They didn't answer.
Uh-oh.
I'm finally done eating, "excuse me", I say getting up and putting my dishes in the sink.
"Um, sweetie"
Oh no.
"Can we talk to you for a second"
"Yeah, sure".
"You've been really disconnecting yourself lately and we just want to make sure that you're okay."
Oh, it's this again.
"I'm fine, there's no need to worry."
I hug my mom and go back to my bed room.
Everything IS okay right? I think so. Ugh, I need a shower. I'll do it tomorrow.
I start looking through my phone and eventually doze off.
I wake up, my face is wet. Was I crying in my sleep? I don't remember having any dreams worth crying for, but I don't remember any dreams at all. Now that I think of it I haven't been able to remember any of my dreams in a long time. Huh.
What ever.
I check my phone, I got a text. "'Sup?" It was sent around 6 hours ago and I don't want to talk anyways.
Just another day of nothing, huh? What ever.
June 9, 2013
Dear Diary, just another day of ugh. I should do something about this. Tumblr won't do anything for me. Yeah, I'll go do something, just not today. I don't feel like it today.
Another day flies by.
June 10, 2013
Dear Diary, I don't think I'll do anything today either. It would shock my mom if a change that big just suddenly happened. I've go to warm her up to it, so she doesn't think I'm doing something bad and worry her. But I will go do something at some point.
A few days go by just like the ones before.
June 16, 2013
Dear Diary, I don't know why I'm still writing in this thing. It's just the same thing every day… Well maybe I do know; I've got to keep busy somehow. Why not this?
June 28, 2013
You know what? I'm done.
June 29, 2013
Just. Done.
June 30, 2013
[No Entry]
I shouldn't have done it.
Now my friends, my family, my mom, the only one who ever really supported me, they all are in wrecks. People cared a lot more about me than I cared to notice, and they paid the price. Now I am forced to sit here watching the madness from the background, unable to do a thing.
Why?
Why did I do this?
How?
How did I let this happen?
This is my Hell, and I deserve this. With what I did to them, I DESERVE THIS.
Then I see a light.
And hear a voice.
Laughting.
"DON'T MOCK ME!"
The laughing stops.
"Mock you?"
"YU-YOUR LAUGHING"
"Oh, never mind that. There's still a price to pay."
"ISN'T THIS ENOUGH FOR YOU?"
"No, but if you want to stay here you can"
"NO, OH GOD NO!"
"Okay then there's a lot of work to be done"
The light slowly shifts and disappears as a strange man in a pitch black suit walks up to me, and smiles.
"Hello"
