June 8, 2013

Dear Diary, I've been extremely depressed lately and I can't quite pinpoint why.

I've just felt really numb to everything around me. I haven't even really wanted to talk to close friends. I can barely eat anything and I can't tell why. I'm just ugh. Other than that I guess there's nothing else to really say. Bye.

"It's time for dinner, we're having one of you're favorites!", called my mom from downstairs. (Sigh) I put down the book and came out of the bedroom for the first time that day. "Ah, there you are", sighs my mom. I just wave back. "Pizza, again?".

"Well it seems to be the only thing you want to eat."

Not the only thing.

Everything is to silent tonight, I should say something. "Ahem, I drew this really cool thing today. I really like it."

Dad just looks up and smiles.

Something's wrong.

"Mom, dad, what's the matter?"

They didn't answer.

Uh-oh.

I'm finally done eating, "excuse me", I say getting up and putting my dishes in the sink.

"Um, sweetie"

Oh no.

"Can we talk to you for a second"

"Yeah, sure".

"You've been really disconnecting yourself lately and we just want to make sure that you're okay."

Oh, it's this again.

"I'm fine, there's no need to worry."

I hug my mom and go back to my bed room.

Everything IS okay right? I think so. Ugh, I need a shower. I'll do it tomorrow.

I start looking through my phone and eventually doze off.

I wake up, my face is wet. Was I crying in my sleep? I don't remember having any dreams worth crying for, but I don't remember any dreams at all. Now that I think of it I haven't been able to remember any of my dreams in a long time. Huh.

What ever.

I check my phone, I got a text. "'Sup?" It was sent around 6 hours ago and I don't want to talk anyways.

Just another day of nothing, huh? What ever.

June 9, 2013

Dear Diary, just another day of ugh. I should do something about this. Tumblr won't do anything for me. Yeah, I'll go do something, just not today. I don't feel like it today.

Another day flies by.

June 10, 2013

Dear Diary, I don't think I'll do anything today either. It would shock my mom if a change that big just suddenly happened. I've go to warm her up to it, so she doesn't think I'm doing something bad and worry her. But I will go do something at some point.

A few days go by just like the ones before.

June 16, 2013

Dear Diary, I don't know why I'm still writing in this thing. It's just the same thing every day… Well maybe I do know; I've got to keep busy somehow. Why not this?

June 28, 2013

You know what? I'm done.

June 29, 2013

Just. Done.

June 30, 2013

[No Entry]

I shouldn't have done it.

Now my friends, my family, my mom, the only one who ever really supported me, they all are in wrecks. People cared a lot more about me than I cared to notice, and they paid the price. Now I am forced to sit here watching the madness from the background, unable to do a thing.

Why?

Why did I do this?

How?

How did I let this happen?

This is my Hell, and I deserve this. With what I did to them, I DESERVE THIS.

Then I see a light.

And hear a voice.

Laughting.

"DON'T MOCK ME!"

The laughing stops.

"Mock you?"

"YU-YOUR LAUGHING"

"Oh, never mind that. There's still a price to pay."

"ISN'T THIS ENOUGH FOR YOU?"

"No, but if you want to stay here you can"

"NO, OH GOD NO!"

"Okay then there's a lot of work to be done"

The light slowly shifts and disappears as a strange man in a pitch black suit walks up to me, and smiles.

"Hello"