Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable Naruto characters, settings, etc. are the property of Masashi Kishimoto and Shueisha Inc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. Don't sue me!
This is a sequel to Remembrance. Please take time to read that first. I intended this to be a one-shot in Naruto's POV, something that would conclude the angsty romance I had planned for them. But the story seemed to steer to a different direction on its own. So this one's going to be a multi-chapter. Gasp! I tried telling myself to stick to one-shots, since I never seem to finish longer stories. But what the hell, I wanted to try again. Besides, my unfinished fics were all of Smallville. I want to believe I'd fair better with Naruto fics. I just hope I don't crash and burn on this one.
This won't be entirely from Naruto's POV, I hope the shifts in POV doesn't confuse you too much.
Story starts off from the last scene in Remembrance.
Words in Italic – dream sequence / character thoughts / memories
Complications
By ButcherBlues
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Chapter I
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I won't lie. I've always dreamt about it, ever since I was five years old.
She would have the most beautiful smile and dazzling eyes that you could lose yourself in. Her touch would be gentle, her laugh intoxicating. She would be perfect... nothing more, nothing less.
I've tried my entire life to find her, the woman I would spend the rest of my life with, the one I would love.
I waited for her, but she never came. Or maybe she already did. She just wasn't mine for the taking. My silent admission weighed heavily on my heart. But it was a truth I had to come in terms with.
And yet...
Here I was, standing in front of a cheering crowd, being proclaimed as the new Hokage but barely hearing a word they say. And what's worse, I find that I couldn't care less.
Only one thing was registering to me at that moment.
I hold her stare. I look at her face, my eyes drinking in the delicate contours of her angelic profile, and I feel my heart jump. I manage a small amused smile. I can't help it. The sixth Hokage. Container of the most powerful demon. And yet, it only takes a certain pink-haired kunoichi to render me helpless.
I stare at her for one blissful moment longer. She stares back, then finally looks away. But not before I catch the wistful smile on her face.
Sakura...
She's my weakness, it's true. But at the same time she's my greatest strength.
Naruto fell carelessly on the big chair in his apartment, a scroll in hand. He was supposed to review all the missions listed and have them assigned to teams this morning.
"Ugh, dammit," he cursed under his breath, after glancing at the digital clock on his desk with its red blinking eyes glaring back at him. It seemed to say, "Hey it's 1:00 a.m. Time to work, baka!"
He sighed. Even the voices in his head sounded like her.
It was her fault.
He wouldn't be sitting here half-dazed, neglecting his job as head of the village not even a day in the position if it wasn't for her. No, of course not. Because he, Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha's self-proclaimed number one ninja, was a perfect example of calm and collected. Not because he had managed to grow into a man of highly-cultured mind or of dignified and refined manners. He wished it was the case sometimes, but he knew better. It was simply because the raging fire in him had simply dwindled into dying embers. Nothing seemed to get to him these days. Even Konohamaro's antics failed to get a rise out of him. He was nothing but an empty shell of his former self. Now he simply existed. But he was perfectly fine with that, he no longer lived for himself anyway. His personal desires forgotten. So as long as he could still manage to help people, then for him, that was more than enough.
He had mastered the coveted skill of pretending. He was no longer the loudmouthed brat, who was passionate about life, that he used to be. It was only the sheer power of will that gets him to even wake up in the morning and continue this charade called living.
But that was before she waltzed her way into his life once again. Suddenly his monotonous life is once more gaining some semblance of purpose.
After years of no contact at all, both of them managing to keep out of each other's life, she suddenly just shows up. Turning his life upside down in the process. And of course while she was at it, she had to smile that smile of hers.
And just like that he fell in love with her all over again.
I can't help loving her.
She was of all his dreams personified. She represented every desire he had. But also, Sakura was to him a forever reminder of what he could never have.
After Sasuke's return, he busied himself with training. Going out on missions without rest. Never mind that the pay was terrible, he always took every mission that was appointed to him. Even those that nobody wanted, so as long as it required him to be away from the village... and away from her. Every second praying that the gods pity him and finally make him forget. He thought being away most of the time was enough to make him move on. After all didn't they say, out of sight, out of mind? Up until yesterday he thought he had succeeded in finally moving on. He should've known better.
The heart always remembers. In his case, remembered very clearly.
They were at a party. Ino and Tenten had gathered a few close friends to celebrate Neji and Shikamaru's rise to the rank of ANBU.
"Just one word, Naruto. Don't mess up," he remembered her say. They were playing a game then, something about describing the person next to you in a single word. How he ended up seated beside her, he didn't know. But there was one thing he was sure about, the game they were playing was stupid and boring. He was about to protest and suggest a better game. A game that required eating ramen but stopped short when he saw Sakura tapping her fingers impatiently, an annoyed look on her face that said, "You're taking too long, baka!"
So he said the first thing that came to mind.
"You're just like Christmas morning."
He hadn't meant to say it. It had just slipped out. In his hurry, he spoke the words. But strangely enough, he wasn't sure if he was more terrified that he slipped or that he broke the rules of a game Sakura seemed intent on playing. He turned to look at her, expecting to be greeted by a jaw-cracking punch. It always was the case whenever he voiced out his feelings for the pink-haired girl. Unrequited love was the damnest thing, but he was used to it. What he saw on her face however was something new. He watched as color rose in her cheeks. An embarrassed but pleased smile on her face.
Naruto was clueless about most things, and sure, he was a bit drunk right now, all of them were. But he knew that Sakura's suddenly rose-tinted cheeks was no side-effect of alcohol.
Dammit, she was blushing!
But before he could even think about the implications of this discovery, a sudden knock on the door interrupted him. They all stood in attention, drunkness forgotten, as Kiba read the scroll that was handed to him by the messenger at the door.
That very same night he was summoned by Tsunade, together with Shikamaru and a few others. And was appointed the mission that would bring Sasuke back.
In the privacy of his home, he was allowed to relive that memory without interruption. It was a moment he remembered with much fondness. Not because of Sakura's unexpected reaction. He was no fool. A simple blush was not a declaration of undying love. Nor was it a sign that Sakura was finally beginning to see him more than just a teammate.
No, that was not the reason.
It was simply the image of Sakura... glowing despite the dim light in the room, with a gentle smile on her face, that made that moment unforgettable. And maybe... it was also because after that day, everything changed.
He clenched his fists, willing his mind not to go down that path. It hurt too much.
He tried to find something to keep him distracted. Naruto could hear a window banging lightly, randomly in the breeze blowing around the apartment. Outside, the leaves gusted in the wind. The sound of it was comforting, lulling. Suddenly he realized how tired he was.
He closed his eyes.
Unfortunately for him, with his control loosened by the hands of slumber, his mind was free to wander unrestrained.
Terror greater than any he had ever known crept over him, numbing his mind in the process. The muscles on his body turned to something that felt like warm water, his hands which were poised to begin the complicated Rasengan suddenly went limp then dangled on his sides.
"Sasuke--"
At first he could manage only that one tiny whisper which couldn't have been heard among the chaos and ongoing battles that surrounded them. He stopped, licked his lips, and tried again.
"What are you?"
The question was absurd since he recognized the figure standing but a few feet away from him the moment it allowed its face to peer from under the black, massive cloak it seemed to be drowning in. But at the same time, the question seemed the most fitting given the circumstance.
The figure didn't answer, only stood there bathing in the morbid glow of the moon. For a moment, it did nothing but watch him, eyes black as the night gazing at him with fixed, idiotic attention. Then it did move. Its thin lips twitched upwards in a dry grin.
"Ah. Naruto, you found me. Took you long enough, ne?"
The odd emotion he once regarded as paralyzing terror slowly showed itself for what it really was. It was a deep stab of sadness and regret. Something that reminded him of the his previous life as Konoha's demon child. A time when he was always left alone in tears, watching as people sneered at him with such hate and disgust, then walked away.
Sasuke, or the thing that tried to pass itself as the child prodigy, chuckled, seemingly amused at his reaction. Then finally the terrible sound of laughter died down, pale lips settling for a mocking smirk.
The infamous Sasuke smirk.
A rush of memories assaulted him. For a brief moment, they were Team 7 again.
A young Naruto, orange-clad from head to foot, was squirming and screaming dramatically at his Kakashi-sensei to set him free. And that it was unfair, he was to be Hokage someday, after all. It was embarrassing to be tied down like this and be denied of lunch just because he failed some dumb test to retrieve bells. How stupid! He should even be rewarded because while Sasuke and Sakura hid among the shadows, he was brave enough to face Kakashi head on.
If not for his Kakashi-sensei's Hidden Taijutsu Ougi, Sennen Goroshi, he would've defeated him. Kuso! That taijutsu technique should be forbidden! His butt still hurt. His face grimaced in remembrance of the pain. It truly is a thousand years of pain.
A giggle. It was Sakura. He watched her look at him with amusement.
Then there was Sasuke. A bento on his lap, a look of indifference on his face. Suddenly, he saw him lift the bento towards him in offering. Then Sakura followed suit, thrusting her lunch to his face. His stomach growled in gratitude.
Yes, they were a team once.
Him. Konoha's number one most unpredictable ninja.
Sakura. The love of his life.
And Sasuke. His best friend.
He returned his gaze to the figure in front of him. Its pale face marred only by black characters which were a "gift" from the snake, Orochimaru. A gift that was willingly accepted. Something that turned Sasuke into this monster now standing before him. And he knew that it was up to him to bring Sasuke back, to remind him of things he purposely ignored in favor of his vengeful goals.
He had been too late, he realized. The figure in front of him was no longer Sasuke.
But he had to try.
The next moment was a blur of blows and blood. The ground laid in ruins. Trees upturned in their enormous display of power. The dark sky lighting up like fireworks as both of them exchanged powerful ninjutsus.
Naruto knew he couldn't last much longer, even with the Kyuubi's help, his ability to even stand up was proving to be very difficult. If he had to defeat this monster and bring his best friend back, he had to do it now. He can't die yet. Not when he still had to fulfill a promise of a lifetime.
An image of Sakura flashed briefly in his mind. The promise of her smile more than enough to keep him going.
Ignoring the blinding pain that shot up his spine as he stood up, he took an offensive stance and gathered all the strength he had left. Then, he began forming the Rasengan...
On the chair, Naruto's eyes had begun to move rapidly back and forth behind his lids, his hands clenching and unclenching, reliving the last few moments of that fateful battle. And then he moaned—a wavering sound full of remembrance… and relief.
He watched as Sasuke's eyes began to clear, recognition settling in his dark orbs. He sighed in relief as he cradled Sasuke's bruised body in his arms. Naruto wasn't fairing well himself, but because of Kyuubi he was gradually regaining his strength.
"This doesn't prove anything, baka. You're still dead last." Sasuka croaked through split lips.
Then he smirked.
This time though, the familiar gesture was more than welcome. He was back. Sasuke has returned. And that was more than enough. Finally, it was time to go home.
For days they traveled, having to stop often because of their injuries. Sometimes talking, sometimes just sitting in silence, both comfortable in each others presence. Nothing needed to be said anyway. He supposed you didn't have to be a genius to understand that healing never happens overnight. And how such simple things as familiar companionship held such soothing appeal especially after what they've been through. If silence was what it took to get the words and thoughts across, then you comply and shut your mouth, let the quiet take over and say thank you very much.
As they neared the gates of Konoha, he felt the arms slung across his shoulders suddenly stiffen. He turned to look at Sasuke. What he saw forced him to stop. He had never seen Sasuke look so vulnerable. Sure, he figured that Sasuke felt uneasy about going back home, given his brief stint as Orochimaru's underling. But the expression on his face told him it was something much more. Before he could give it much thought, he heard Sasuke clear his throat.
"Sakura. Do you think she…" then he trailed off and looked away. As if surprised and embarrassed at the sound of his own voice and what his traitorous mouth had said despite himself.
Naruto had to smile at that. Of course, it had to be her. She was the only person he knew that could give rise to such strong emotions in him, so it shouldn't be a surprise that she now had the same effect to the new and improved Sasuke. The one who no longer lives for revenge. A person who is now slowly welcoming other emotions other than hate--strange and unfamiliar emotions that he tried so hard to suppress before. Happiness and pride for his friend was foremost in his mind, but there was also something else vying for his attention. He quenched it before it got a chance to take hold of him. Now was not the time to be selfish.
He fully faced Sasuke then, giving him the impression that he was willing to wait, trying to help him be comfortable enough to voice out whatever it is he's trying to say. He watched Sasuke silently battle with his emotions. As he waited, that single selfish emotion that he tried to ignore recovered and got back to its feet, suddenly screaming its protest. It told him to completely ignore what Sasuke was trying to say and just move on and continue their trek home. Or to change the course of discussion and forget that Sasuke was even trying to talk about Sakura. Because somehow a part of him knew what Sasuke was going to say even as his friend had yet to articulate the words. He knew that Sasuke's next words would define his decisions concerning Sakura. And that left him with a burning pain in his chest, like being declared a loser from a battle you weren't even given a chance to participate in, to simply lose by default.
He felt cheated and angry. Life was cruel. It was as if he was not allowed to have a say in the matter. He was merely a spectator of his own life. Watching as the rug was slowly being pulled from under him, all sensations muted, his senses only returning to allow him to feel the pain of his fall.
But he was helpless to do anything else. It was as if strong invisible hands were holding him down, making him stand still, forcing him to wait and listen. He watched as Sasuke finally turned to his direction, a determined look on his face. Suddenly everything seemed to be in slow motion. He saw Sasuke's mouth slowly open to form words.
"Do you think Sakura's waiting for me at the gates?" he began uneasily.
As if that wasn't torture enough, he was also given the insight that allowed him to completely understand the hidden meaning behind Sasuke's words. That he wasn't just asking about the mere physical sense of Sakura standing by the gates. It was her emotional availability. He believed Sakura was still in-love with Sasuke until this day. But it had been bearable then... when Sasuke never paid attention.
But now...
All of sudden, he had the overwhelming urge to cover his ears and drown out whatever Sasuke was about to say. He felt exactly like the time he was slowly unwrapping a gift he knew was something he didn't like, but still fervently wishing it was something else as he slowly ripped the box open. It was a futile effort he was all too familiar with. And it made him want to cry. But found that Sasuke's next words dulled even his ability to do so.
"I need her to."
And yes, sure enough, there it was, his greatest fear finally voiced out for all the world to hear.
Naruto gasped, jerked, and opened his eyes. He hadn't the slightest idea of how long he had been asleep. But the view he managed from his open window told him it was long enough, the rising sun was already slowly making its majestic ascend. It was more sleep than he allowed himself these days. But despite the extended rest, he had never felt more drained. He briefly wondered why. Then slowly, figments of his dream returned to him, answering his unspoken question. It was the same dream that plagued him months before. This time, however, he welcomed the memory. Even the choking pain that came with it. After seeing her again, he needed to remember. It was too tempting.
He needed to remind himself why he had to let go.
TBC
Author's Notes: I hope that explained why Naruto pulled away, especially that part in Remembrance when Sakura and Naruto shared a moment when he brought Sasuke home. Also, I'm sorry if I messed up with the jutsus or the few Japanese terms I included!
Reviews will be greatly appreciated! I have yet to decide where to go with the story, I pretty much have an idea but it's still all jumbled up, so it'd be interesting to read what you guys think. I write as I go and sometimes ideas come from your feedback.
