Written for the prompt: Thorne/Kai body swap. I love trying to fit ridiculous AUs into canonverse so it's an everyone-is-a-cyborg AU.
"It's just a temporary glitch," Kai's android assistant, Nainsi, assured him. "I did warn Doctor Erland that upgrading your software while the prisoner was still in surgery could cause a malfunction like this."
Kai was barely listening. He couldn't stop staring at his reflection in the mirror. No, not his reflection. That was the whole point, really. His reflection was no longer his.
Two sky blue eyes blinked back at him, the same eyes Kai had seen winking at him from a mugshot on his netscreen just a few hours ago. The infamous Carswell Thorne, an ex-cadet for the American Republic air force, wanted in almost every corner of the Earthen Union. He'd been shot during his arrest, and taken to the palace hospital for surgery to remove the bullet, which had gotten lodged in the side of his control panel and damaged part of his retina display.
Unfortunately, Carswell Thorne's surgery had coincided not only with Emperor Kai's monthly data upgrade, but also with a city-wide systems failure. In the chaos and confusion, the doctors had managed to download both Kai and Thorne's brain interfaces to the palace's back-up system. But in their hurry to re-upload their emperor's consciousness, no one had thought to double-check that the names of the files they were uploading matched the I.D. tags of the patients.
Kai reached up to touch his cheek. A strong hand, knuckles lightly dusted with golden brown hair, copied him in the mirror.
"Well," said a voice behind him – a voice Kai knew all too well. "Hello, handsome."
Kai – no, the prisoner – stood in Kai's doorway, lounging lazily against the frame as though he didn't have a care in the world. As though he wasn't facing at least ten years' imprisonment as soon as they were back in their own bodies.
"The correct form of address is Your Majesty," Kai said stiffly, but the words sounded almost flirtatious in Carswell Thorne's slow American drawl.
Thorne smirked, and Kai instantly hated the way that smug expression looked on his own face. Though he had to admit, he never would have imagined that he could look so… well, relaxed. Happy, even. After so many years of stress, he'd almost forgotten what his face looked like when his brow wasn't creased.
"What's the matter, Your Magesticness?" He nodded to the mirror. "You look good." With apparently no regard for propriety when in the presence of royalty, the ex-cadet eased into the room, sidling up to Kai and side-stepping Nainsi as she began to beep in protest. Thorne caught his eye in the mirror and his mouth – Kai's mouth – stretched into a wide grin. He flicked his eyes up and down appraisingly. "Aces, so do I."
To his extreme embarrassment, Kai felt his – no, Thorne's – cheeks redden. True, he'd just been admiring his new body in the mirror too, but at least he hadn't been doing so with its usual occupant standing less than three feet away.
"How did you escape your guards?" he asked, more out of curiosity than fear. He was reasonably sure that Thorne wouldn't try to harm him while he was in Thorne's body. The man might be a criminal, but Kai knew from his record that he wasn't stupid, however much he liked to play the daring rogue.
Thorne shrugged. The dismissive gesture looked oddly regal on Kai's lanky frame. "Got bored, challenged them to a game of cards. They figured out pretty quickly that I was cheating, but then they got into a fight over how I was doing it." His eyes gleamed with mischief. "I slipped out while they were arguing. You really need to hire better security."
Kai rubbed his – Thorne's – temple wearily, and sat back down on the hospital bed. "I can't believe this is happening," he groaned.
Seemingly unconcerned that Nainsi was now tugging on the trousers of his hospital gown in an effort to pull him away from her emperor, Thorne sat down next to him and gave him a nudge.
"Why so blue, Your Magesticness?"
Kai shot him a scathing look. "Oh, I'm just fine," he said, and this time, thankfully, his voice oozed sarcasm. "My doctors have stuck me in the body of one of the world's most notorious criminals, my guards are utterly incompetent, and said criminal is now invading my personal space and talking to me like we're friends or something. And my city has just suffered a major power outage, and my advisors are nowhere to be found, and – oh, for all the stars, stop smirking, would you?"
"Sorry," Thorne said, in the same voice Kai used when he was not-sorry-at-all. "It's just – I have an android friend who's pretty much obsessed with you, and I'm starting to see why you've got so many admirers." He looked up, leaning dangerously close. "You're kind of cute when you get all riled up."
Kai rolled his eyes. Stars, just when he thought the day couldn't get any weirder, now one of his own prisoners was flirting with him. A prisoner wearing his face. And… and for some reason, he wasn't discouraging him.
"Do you often use pick-up lines on yourself?" he asked. He recalled something he'd read from a recorded interrogation of one of Thorne's former accomplices. "I don't know why I'm surprised – this is the man rumoured to flirt with his own ship."
Thorne's eyes widened. "How do you – Wait, you read my file?" he asked. He didn't seem troubled – if anything, he looked flattered. Kai couldn't remember the last time he'd seen that expression on his face – it was so different to the strained smiles he gave when addressing the public. Had he always had dimples?
"No," Kai lied. Thorne grinned again, and too late, Kai remembered the lie detector he had installed in his retina display. The retina display built into the body that the man sitting beside him currently wore. More to distance himself from Thorne – a criminal, he reminded himself – than out of any desire to see the wrong reflection looking back at him again, he stood up, and walked back over to the mirror.
Unfortunately, Kai realised quickly, resuming staring at Carswell Thorne's strong jaw and broad shoulders and perfectly tousled brown hair wasn't the best distraction.
"Like what you see?"
Kai didn't know how to answer that without revealing too much, so he said nothing. But if the sound of his own low laugh was any indication, Thorne knew exactly what his silence meant.
Hurried footsteps alerted Kai to the arrival of his guards moments before the door burst open. For a split second, the guards looked ready to seize him; then, remembering the unusual circumstances their emperor had found himself in, they turned on the boy lounging on the hospital bed.
"Your Majesty?" one of the guards asked Kai, sounding uncertain.
Kai fixed the woman with his most regal stare. "Yes?"
She let out a small sigh of relief at having correctly identified her emperor from her prisoner. "Your Imperial Majesty," said the guard, bowing low. When she rose, she seemed to be afraid to meet Kai's eyes. "I beg your pardon, Sir. Your android alerted us to the intrusion, but the net is still down in several areas of the palace, and her message took a few minutes to get through."
Kai ran a hand through his hair – his unusually short, perfectly tousled hair. Carswell Thorne's hair felt surprisingly nice beneath his fingers. He pulled his hands back to his sides.
"Why was my room unguarded?" Kai demanded.
The guard shuffled her feet nervously. "I… don't know, Your Majesty."
"I do," Thorne piped up, cheerfully.
"Shut up," Kai said.
"We shall investigate the matter as soon as possible, Sir," the guard promised.
"See that you do," said Kai. "And double the guard for Mr. Thorne, too. I want the guards who were supposed to be watching him fired effective immediately."
Thorne looked proud, as though the extra guard count was a sign of his own competence as a criminal. The guard nodded, and recognising Kai's tone of dismissal, gestured for her companions to escort Thorne from the room. They did so, looking uneasy at the prospect of handling their Emperor's body with force, but Thorne went willingly.
"One more thing," he called as the guards led him to the doors. "Don't use the hospital soap, it's too drying. I have very sensitive skin, you know."
Kai snorted, although a little part of him noted that Carswell Thorne had very nice skin. Not too dry at all.
"Goodbye, Mr. Thorne," he said warily. "I'll see you at your trial."
Thorne laughed again.
"Oh, don't worry, Your Majesty," he drawled as the guards pulled him through the doorway and out of sight. "I have a feeling we're going to be seeing each other again much sooner than you think."
