Dear darling Sarah,
I miss you, like a bird misses the sky, or like the sea misses the shore.
I would destroy the world if only to see your face again. Will you not come home?
The labyrinth needs a queen. And you are the only one my heart beats for.
Enclosed is a symbol of my love. I await your reply with bated breath.
love,
Always and forever,
the Goblin King AKA Jareth
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Dear Pedophilic stalker.
NO. JUST NO.
Three things that are wrong with your letter.
1." Darling Sarah". NO. That's just...wrong. Like your way too tight pants wrong. Seriously, are they spandex or something?
2. " I would destroy the world if only to see your face again". Not exactly filling me with confidence. And may I remind you that you KIDNAPPED MY BROTHER??
3. Your "Symbol of Love"? Yeah. It was a bubble. That burst in a huge cloud of gold, sparkly glitter. And it also knocked me out. I do not know what happened after that, nor do I want to know.
Please stop writing to me.
Sarah.
PS So do I just give it to the goblin or something?
PPS NO MORE GLITTER.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Dear Goddess of my Heart.
Your words attack my heart like the thorns of a beautiful, lush rose. A bit like how I imagine you. Beautiful but with a barrier of thorns. Dangerous but pleasing to the eye.
Darling, will you not be mine? Is the Labyrinth not calling for you?
I know I am. Will you not listen to this poor man's aching heart?
And as for the ... sudden movement of your brother, can't you let the past be? I was only doing what you wished.
And did you not like the dream I sent you? I think it was very romantic, what with the flowers and the gold. I really did like your dress.
Love
the Goblin king
PS The glitter is part of who I am. Don't change me, babe.
PPS the pants are not spandex. It's all the fashion here in the labyrinth.
PPPS I suggest you don't stop writing. I might be tempted to check up on you.
And yes. Give the letter to the Goblin.
