It's a foggy early winter morning, clouds clinging to the skyscrapers of Iwatodai. Junpei's sneaker catches on a Nyx poster on the tiles; he lets out an unmanly screech and tumbles. Beside him, Akihiko snorts.

"Dude," Junpei says, gracefully acting as though nothing had happened. "Put on your jacket."

"Yeah, yeah," is Akihiko's light reply, said in the tone that indicates that he'll do anything but. They wait for the traffic to zoom past the zebra crossing leading to Iwatodai Station, and it's only when they're across that Akihiko continues. "You up for ramen?"

Junpei eyes him flatly. "Senpai, that's the whole reason I came out today."

Akihiko rolls his shoulders in a lazy shrug. "Instead of studying for the exam in a couple of weeks?"

"Shut upppp."

Akihiko laughs, the noise deep and brief. It's not a common noise, and the sound of it is enough to make Junpei smile.

There's a bright advertisement on Wild Duck's front window, promising fries and a steak burger for – his eyes bulge at the price. That little?

"Senpai, screw ramen. We're going there."

"What?" Akihiko's lips are curled in disgust greater than when his fangirl club are nearby, and – actually, that's a lot of disgust. "No, we're not. We agreed on ramen."

"It's all you ever eat!"

"I eat beef bowls!"

"And protein shakes." Junpei sighs, and latches a hand onto Akihiko's shoulder. Over the year, he'd hit a tiny growth spurt, and he was actually the taller of the two of them... by, like, half a centimetre, but still! Taller. "C'moooon, Senpai."

Akihiko gives him a glower, but after their intense mano a mano staring contest, he sighs and shifts away from Junpei's hand. "Fine, fine. Just for today."

"Yes!" Junpei thrusts his fist up high. "Next time, we'll get ramen, I promise!"

Akihiko's already shaking his head as he pushes the door open and holds it. Junpei ducks in under his arm; given that Wild Duck is usually a magnet for tiny terrors and shrieking whiners, the place is nearly abandoned. There's not even a queue.

Suspicious.

Veryyy suspicious.

"Senpai," he begins. "I think there's a conspiracy theory going on. Y'know, 'cause there's no kids here."

Akihiko lets out his bark of a laugh. "All right, Junpei, whatever you say."

"I'm bein' serious!" he shrieks. Does he not understand the danger? "Dude, come on, I'm usually tripping over kids whenever me and Mina-chan-"

"Mina-chan and I."

Junpei rolls his eyes. "Mina-chan and I," he repeats in a haughty voice, drawing out another one of Akihiko's laughs. "Tag along around here."

"Yeah," Akihiko says warmly. "We came here once as well. She shouted at a kid who was being noisy. I didn't even notice him."

"Well, you know what girls are like."

"Yeah."

Awkward silence, oops. Thankfully, they're at the till, but the girl serving them has a pissed off expression and dyed red hair like-

He swallows, but it does nothing for his dry throat.

Akihiko gives him a look and turns around. "One large steak burger with large fries, and a can of Mad Bull. I'll have a salad and coffee, please. Black as you can make it."

With a glower, she's around the corner and barking instructions.

Junpei feels a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you go and grab us a good table. I'll be a minute."

"Um," he blurts out. "Um, sure. Cool."

He's in sort of a daze when he plonks himself at a seat near the window, the one that overlooks the car park. Not that there's any cars; with the talk of the Coming and the Fall and all of that bullcrap coming near, the Japanese economy has all but collapsed. Most people are either sitting at home brooding or flinging themselves off cliffs.

Well. Not really. It's sort of scary, though, makes Junpei's hairs tickle with nerves. That guy that sat in the corner, forever ohhing and ahhing over if he should go to the cinema alone? Now throwing Nyx flyers at Junpei every time he looks at him. The blonde journalist that was always sticking her nose into all of the wrong stories? Got thrown into jail for Nyx-related graffiti.

He doesn't understand them, and, yeah, okay, maybe he is a bit too young. But he's been through a lot of shit – his mum and dad broke up when he was, what, nine? - and he watched his loving dad turn into an alcoholic that got high on pan cleaner, all because of a stupid money scam. He didn't exactly have the most loving of family situations, and he's seen some freaky Shadow-related crap, and he's watched his girlfriend – the first person he loved loved – die in his arms. Like, man, what the hell, he had every right to be bitter and upset.

But he'd never wanted to die.

A can's slid over to him. Junpei looks up, blinks, as Akihiko saddles in next to him and sips from his plastic cup of coffee. The smell of it's enough to turn Junpei's stomach.

"What's up?" Akihiko says quietly. He pushes the greasy burger over. Junpei unwraps it with shaking fingers.

"Have you ever-" Well, to hell with it. "You ever wanted to die?"

Akihiko stills at that. Junpei watches his nail rim the cup's edge before he takes another massive gulp. "Sure I have," he says after a breathy sigh.

"You have?" A silent invitation.

Akihiko gives him a wary sideways glance, a very long glance, then sighs and stares at the tacky luminous blue duck on the opposite wall. "When Miki died." He paused, the cap squeaking in his fist. "And when... when Shinji died, too."

"...Who's Miki?"

Akihiko gives a wane smile. "My sister."

"You had a-" Junpei clamps himself off in time, but Akihiko smiles again, gazing at his murky coffee. "...Shit, man, you never said."

"Didn't need to." He chugs down the rest of the coffee in one go. Good thing it's not alcohol, Junpei thinks bitterly, or he'd be in serious trouble. "I was nine, so, y'know." He gives a small shrug. "Not important."
"Senpai..."

"Don't sound like that," he snaps. The rim of his cup tears off, his fist jerking with it. Junpei lets out a low whistle, while Akihiko's ears tinge red. "...Damn." He shakes his head, glancing to Junpei. "Seriously, though, Junpei. Don't sound all sorry for me." He jabs a plastic fork into his pitiful plate of salad and snaps the handle clean off. "'Oh, wow, Sanada-san, it must be so difficult for you.'" With a sigh, he thumbs a leaf and swallows it with a sigh.

Junpe winces, because what else is he meant to do? Laugh about it? "Sorry, Akihiko-san."

His face drops the frown altogether. "No, Junpei, I should be sorry. I mean, your dad couldn't have been that good, either." When Junpei doesn't answer, can't answer, Akihiko presses on. "And... Chidori. That woman..." He gives a low chuckle. "She was her splitting image, huh?"

"Y-yeah." Junpei wolfs down a mouthful of his plastic-tasting burger, but it's better than nothing. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Akihiko picks up a leaflet hanging off the counter's edge, and scowls. "Nyx nonsense again, huh?"

"I wonder why, though..."

"Hmm?" He scrunches the paper into a tiny ball and flings it into the nearest bin. Clean shot.

Junpei tears off the edge of the steak absently, turning it over in his fingers. "About why Chidori was even with Strega. What made her join them? And she used to – used to hurt herself." He wolfs down the food scrape and sighs, unable to lift his gaze from the shiny table. "Why?"

Akihiko shifts beside him, resting one leg over the other, the way he does whenever he's thinking. He clasps his knees and sighs. "Well, there's no point dwelling on it. The past is the past. We've gotta look to the future."

"If we've even got one," Junpei had meant it as a thought, but Akihiko whirls his head around and, oh, shit. "I-I mean-"

"I know what you mean," he says sharply. "But we don't know that Ryoji's telling the truth."

"Why would he lie?"

It's a pregnant pause before Akihiko speaks. "...How can you not defeat someone? All right, so Nyx is death and human will and all of that, but – how can we not defeat it? We're giving up before we've even tried; I'd rather die fighting than without any of my memories of you guys."

"Aww." Junpei nudges his side. "You don't care about us, do you, Akihiko-san?"

He snorts, smiling. "Of course I do." He pauses. "Well, not you, Junpei."

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Or Koromaru."

"But everyone loves dogs!"

Akihiko lets out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "Hurry up, Junpei. We're still gonna get ramen after this."

"We are!? Dude, I don't think my stomach can take much more!"