When I'm alone I drift into another strange oblivion

where all my fears come to life and all of my breath

shatters into rust

everyone says it's just in my head

but what if solitude itself is the only

world I know


I lay my head on my arm as the noises of silence kept me awake; Deafening and reminding me that you're supposed to be here but coincidentally you're not. I pondered on my life of a mess and tangled perceptions of it. ( as usual, I am first to judge all my flaws ) Complicated is a given, but perpetual pain is a choice I knew I would receive but still chose to walk on. I scrunch my brows and bite my lip, sparing another glance at the illuminated screen of the phone.

( still waiting )

"I want to stop."

( but I can't )

Wake up, eat breakfast and be patient all day waiting for a single mail,a single thought, a single word. At lunch, I always leave it with the nastiest ringtone and the loudest volume. What if he called and I don't hear it? What if I get a text and didn't notice it? I won't let that happen. At the very moment that's the only thing running through my mind. There will always be more space in my mind thinking about you than doing what 'life' is said to be.

( you're my life )

But that's just phase one. I'm here again like a reset button, waking up in the middle of the night, taking a slice of unhealthy bread and up and waiting all night for a single mail or a single 'good night.' Again.

( how foolish. You know that won't happen.)

rings.

I stand up abruptly and scratch my pair of tired topaz eyes. I forced them wide and read through the three letters on the blank space.

Hey. - aAominecchi 3

A smile made its way to my face.

Hey. You're still up?':) xx -Kise

He cares after all.

Picked up this brunette chick in the club. She's hot. I think she likes me. - aAominecchi 3

He cares.

WOah there ;) go get her! xx - Kise

Yeah. - aAominecchi 3

He.


I dragged myself on the soft, white blankets of snow I once looked forward to, glaring at the gray sky I once admired. Why has everything become so hateful? Everything has become so empty. Every tree seems empty, every hollow nests seemed even emptier. His reality - the real world he dwelt in before the ground gave up on him, making him fall endlessly, alone - is so dull and black and white. No spark. No life.

no Aomine Daiki.

I could feel tears rim my eyes while my heart clenched tighter then before until I my breath hitched. My legs grew weak and numb at the sharp coldness that enveloped them. Why am I such a crybaby?

( I let myself do this.)

"ah...nhn...hn...hic..."

It hurts too bad. I hurts too bad. It hurts too bad. It hurts too bad.

( I feel like I'm going to die.)

But it will be better, won't it? I let him go. I'm giving up. I'm not coming back.

( everything is going to be fine. )

ring.

ring.

"Oi Kise. Can we meet up later? I have to tell you something?"

( I hate you. )

"Oi! Are you there?"

"hic...hic..."

"Kise...I'm going there now." Beep.

It's the truth, isn't it? Just once call and everything is all right. Just once call and he's alive again.

( nothing bad has happened. )


"Kise...you're all red."

"..."

"Do you know why I called you here?"

"..."

"Kise, I have something to tell you..."

( I hate you. )

"Kise...I'm in love with you."

( please find me. )


a/n. Second fic? You can relate the first fic to this. ( goodnight ) and idk this is in diff POVS? :) Pls. review and hope you like it!