The Dream and the Truth
It was in a weathered camp set in the dark alleys of a nameless city that our story begins. People were standing behind chain fences, surrounding burning drums and hiding from the rain under sheets of rusted metal. Occasionally, a portal would open in the central area. And occasionally, the soldiers nearby would start gunning down the monsters that came through. It had the air of despair and nightmares.
The soldiers were joking around until one of them was skewered through the mouth by a blade attached to a chain. Before the others around him could truly react, he was pulled into the air and slammed into his allies. A masked man in a yellow suit appeared out of a fiery portal in the ground, slicing the other soldiers apart with kunai before shattering them with his punches. None of them stood a chance. The man scoffed before turning to walk away. But as he did so, he sensed a new presence. One that was familiar to him.
"You cannot hide in the shadows, boy." The man said in an echoey voice. "I can sense you. Even with all my training, you are still predictable." There was silence, before another man stepped into the light. He was dressed in high-tech armour, a yellow band around his forehead.
"Master Hanzo." The man said. "I don't know what has caused you to kill those men. But for your own safety, I must stop you from doing so again." Two whips trailed from his arms, blades folding outwards before folding back in again.
"You were always too weak, Takeda. You could not stop the Scorpion from taking over again. And you will not defeat me in battle. Not this time." Scorpion replied as he moved into a fighting pose. The two warriors faced each other, the moment still and calm as the void.
"Fight!" They both moved at that imaginary signal. Scorpion unleashed a blitz of punches against Takeda, who blocked some of them and jumped overhead, lashing out with his whips. They wrapped around Scorpion's arm, carving grooves into it before Scorpion pulled him back down. But Takeda was expecting that, and so tripped up his former master on the way down. Scorpion dropped down through a fiery portal, appearing behind Takeda and then creating a flame pit below him. Takeda screamed in pain before jumping out, barely managing to strike Scorpion before he started getting pummelled again. But as his next hit missed, he grabbed a nearby barrel and smashed Scorpion with it, giving him room to gain the lead. He slashed with his whips over and over, cutting into Scorpion with every blow. But Scorpion appeared elsewhere, and charged through him covered in flames. On the other side, he slammed his knee into Takeda's chin hard enough to shattered teeth. Takeda went flying from the force, and Scorpion fired his two chains into him. One planted itself in Takeda's sternum, while the other slammed into his skull hard enough to create a deep crack in it. He then used both chains to pull and slam him into the ground, with enough force to break his neck.
"Finish him!" Scorpion stepped closer to his stunned former apprentice, a fireball forming in his hand. He threw it at Takeda, the hellfire burning a hole through his armour and body, leaving a gaping wound. After a second, his heart dropped down to dangle in the hole, still beating. Takeda fell to his knees in pain, where Scorpion drew his blade and sliced through his skull. His stunned face slid off, revealing his brain. Takeda fell to the ground, his brain dropping out of his skull on impact.
Yes, that was how Mortal Kombat was remembered. That was but one of the many terrifying, gruesome, and frankly over-the-top fights that happened during the duels of the realms.
But that was not quite what actually happened.
(The real events)
"…And you will not defeat me in battle. Not this time." Scorpion replied as he moved into a fighting pose. The two warriors faced each other, the moment still and calm as the void.
"Fight!" A voice called out, signifying the beginning of the duel.
"Get over here!" Scorpion yelled, making a fist and pulling it towards him. It did nothing. "Get over here! Get over here! Get over here!" She shouted constantly. Meanwhile, Takeda was jumping further and further away, until he couldn't jump any further. "Fine, you dickless coward." Scorpion yelled loudly as he slowly walked towards Takeda. But then Takeda jumped towards him, whip arcing out. Scorpion jumped into the air, taking the whip right to the face. "Ow, my skullface." He yelled in pain, falling to the ground. Takeda jumped over him, launching his whip again. Scorpion got to his feet and kicked backwards, slamming his foot against his former apprentice. Takeda kept attacking in the same direction, while Scorpion dashed through and got a whip to the back of the head.
"Hiya!" Takeda yelled, slamming both whips against the ground and knocking Scorpion down again. He did that again and again, constantly yelling. But then Scorpion jumped up and dodged it, before hitting Takeda with a fireball. As the warrior yelled in pain, Scorpion closed the distance and burst into flames. After beating out the flames, they both started jumping into the air and kicking each other. Or punching each other. And then Takeda knocked Scorpion to the ground, and reached out with a whip… Only for the whip to miss. "Goddammit." Takeda whined, as Scorpion dashed through him and kicked him in the chin. "Shit… Mother… Fucker… Ow… Dick!" Takeda yelled with every blow.
"Finish him!" The voice shouted, Takeda unable to do anything but wobble on the spot. Scorpion sighed and reached into his jacket, pulling out a manual. One with his smiling picture on the front and English words.
'Scorpion Fighting for Dummies' it said.
"Ok, ok. Let's see… My fatality… My fatality is… Here. Down, back, forward, back, and kick. Got it." He put the manual away and then crouched down. Then he stood up and took one step back, one step forward. One more step back, and then he kicked Takeda. But instead of unleashing an awesome and gruesome attack, he merely caused Takeda to fall to his knees and die. "Wait, what? That can't be right." He pulled out the manual again, and slapped his face. "Shit. I got it wrong. It's Down, back, and then forward twice. No kicking involved. Goddammit."
"Scorpion. Wins." The voice announced as Scorpion stomped away in disgust. As he left, Takeda let off a high-pitched whine.
It would be at least a day before Scorpion finally came back and dragged his ass to the nearest hospital. A whole day where everyone else used him as a weapon.
As you can clearly tell, this is meant to be a large bit of humour. I haven't actually played Mortal Kombat (aside from a disastorous attempt on my dad's original blocky Game Boy back when I was… God, tiny and young. I never got past the second fight. Or sometimes the first.) But then I saw that Team Four Star had a few Mortal Kombat X videos, and I decided to watch them. It was actually pretty funny seeing them messing up. It involved a lot of flailing around and button mashing, and cheap tricks too. Oh, and missing with X Ray attacks. So I suddenly started wondering how this would look to the Mortal Kombat Universe. Seeing all these powerful and skilled warriors acting like children engaged in a sissy fight.
Therefore, I just had to make this. You are all welcome.
Oh, and there's another ending I thought of. I just didn't have anywhere else to put it aside from a joke. Enjoy this one too.
"Finish him!" The voice shouted. Takeda gritted his teeth in pain.
"You will never finish me." He hissed at Scorpion. "You can't even remember your own goddamn fatalities."
"True." Scorpion admitted. "But that's why I decided to cheat."
"Decided to… what?"
"Behold." Scorpion said dramatically, holding out a card. "For only the low, low price of $12.99, I can do all my fatalities in only two easy steps."
"Wait, what? Oh, that is bullshit." That was all Takeda got to say as Scorpion cracked his knuckles and summoned a pillar behind him. He then threw a chain into Takeda's head, pulling off and past him. Then, as it reached the pillar, he threw his sword to pin the head against the pillar.
"Scorpion wins! Fatality!"
