All it's Cracked Up to Be
Summary: It's everything he's been waiting for, and it becomes his downfall. In which Ponyboy realizes college at seventeen isn't everything it's cracked up to be. (Warning: possibly triggering depiction of mental illness in some chapters)
Disclaimer: Yup, you guessed it, I do not own The Outsiders. S. E. Hinton does.
Chapter 1
Third Person POV ~October, 1969~
Ponyboy tore open the envelope, a child-like, excited expression dancing on his face. He opened up the envelope to find his brother's familiar, almost illegible scrawl and appalling spelling, but it's him just the same and the familiarity of it all was comforting.
Hey, Ponyboy,
Long time no talk, kiddo. I miss you a lot. How's school going? Are you still getting straight A's? I'm so proud of you. I wish I was their to see you off to colleg. You sure are getting old.
Anyway, I'm doing all right. The food here sucks, and it's incredibly hot, but I'm safe. Try not to worry that big head of yours about me. I'll be home before you know it and you'll be sick of me.
- Sodapop Curtis
Ponyboy didn't realize he was crying until a warm tear slipped down his face. He missed his brother more than words could describe, and his heart ached to see him again, for him to be safe.
Ponyboy folded Soda's letter carefully, sticking it in his back pocket. He locked the front door before heading towards his car for class with a thousand thoughts swirling through his head.
OoOoOoO
The latest math test was placed on Ponyboy's desk, a large D+ circled in angry red pen at the top corner. Back in high school, Darry would have killed Ponyboy for a sixty-nine percent on a test, but this was college and no one had to know. Sighing, Ponyboy crumbled it up and shoved it into his backpack.
The rest of the class period passed slowly and painfully, with the bell ringing only to relieve Ponyboy to a two hour track practice. He walked the half-mile to where the track was, a cigarette dangling from his lips.
He put it out before he was within eye-shot rang of his coach, even though his coach knew over seventy percent of his team smoked.
As soon as Ponyboy got changed and met outside with his the rest of his team, the coach barked orders for them to warm up with a mile run along with a cool down lap. Ponyboy did as he was told, pushing himself as hard as he could, but he finished in the last two and was coughing hard. All the cigarettes he had been smoking were beginning to take a toll on his tired and stressed-out body.
"What's going on, Curtis?" His coach hollered when he came around the corner on his cool down lap. "Your time was terrible and we ain't even done anything yet."
"I'm sorry, sir," Ponyboy apologized, but he honestly had no explanation besides the fact that he hadn't been sleeping much or eating, his calorie intake was eighty percent nicotine.
"Go home today, and if you're feeling better tomorrow come back. I need my best runner up to par for the meet on Saturday," was Ponyboy's coach's stern reply.
"I'll be okay for today, sir," Ponyboy reassures him. He didn't want to go back to his apartment. He needed an opportunity to run and get his mind off of everything.
"Go home, Curtis. And don't come back until you can run a mile without looking like you're about to pass out."
Reluctantly, the younger boy began to walk off towards the locker rooms, but his coach called out his name, making him turn around.
"And Curtis, laying off the smoking wouldn't hurt, either," his coach informed him, and for a second Ponyboy swore he sounded just like Darry. The thought made him more homesick than ever.
"Yessir," Ponyboy agreed, even though he knew he had no intention of letting go of his four year long habit anytime soon.
~The Next Day~
The clock struck two a.m. and with an aching neck and back, Ponyboy realized he hadn't looked up from his social studies book in over three hours.
The auburn-haired boy was one week away from fall break, which meant an abundance of tests before a week-long break from school. Some called it a vacation, but for Ponyboy it meant that he would have to go home and face the memories, and he would have to face the fact that one member wasn't there anymore.
Ponyboy let out a hacking cough, his chest tightening. After his coughing fit subsided, he packed up his books in preparation for the next day, exhaustion taking over his body.
Ponyboy realized that it was too late to continue studying, so he closed his book and threw on a pair of old, baggy sweats. He was mentally and physically exhausted, but try as he might, he only slept for a combined hour at best. His mind refused to shut up as he tried to sleep. He missed the days where Soda could relax him asleep, but instead he was left to deal with his insomnia without a cure.
OoOoOoO
"I'm sorry, Darry," Ponyboy apologized hoarsely, a wet cough escaping from his lips. Once he got his lungs under control, he continued. "I'm not coming home just to get you sick."
Darry sighed. He wasn't necessarily mad at Ponyboy, but with Sodapop gone he was excited to not have to come home to a painfully empty house. However, Ponyboy was seventeen years old, and if he thought he would be better not to come home, than Darry couldn't do much more than try to convince him, but he couldn't control his little brother.
"I'll rest up, Darry, I'll be fine," Ponyboy assures his older brother, almost as if he was reading Darry's mind. "I don't even have a fever."
Against his better judgement, Darry agreed to allow Ponyboy stay at his apartment with the promise that his little brother would call him, but something in the back of his mind told him something else was wrong. He may not have been Soda, but he knew his little brother.
"You better not be lying to me, Ponyboy," Darry thought worriedly as he hung up the phone, a familiar pit of worry settling in his stomach.
A/N: In case anyone was curious, this story is mapped out to be somewhere between 15-23 chapters long and I'll be trying to update every other day. Please remember to review!
Stay Gold,
- Alee XxX
