Do not own it.
Authors Note:
This is something that goes with Bluhende Liebe. I suggest reading that first. This is just Hermione's mom talking about her view on things...
My baby... she left. She left me with this monster who I call my husband. The man I used to love. The man who brought me my life and joy. The man who, deep down, I know I still love.
I cling to that hope that it will all pass, and everything will work out. I hold on to the thought that maybe, just maybe, we will go back to that family that existed before Hermione left for Hogwarts.
We were happy. We were a family; loving, caring and a family. We would go to the park, we would go shopping, I would bring 'Mione with me shopping, and buy her cute little outfits, since she wasn't yet old enough to really care what she wore. She never has cared, actually... She's independant. She doesn't care what others think. She does what she wants, not what others think is appropriate. She told me once that she felt slightly controled when she went the wizarding school. They made her wear uniforms, something she had never agreed with. Everyone expected her to act like the brave Gryffindor she had been sorted into. And everyone expected her to hate the Slytherins, something else she didn't agree with.
Yes, I have researched into this school she goes to. I have read that book she owns, 'Hogwarts: A History.' I find that world fascinating. I wish I had been boring a witch. I love the way that they aren't controled by money and technology. They live in the past, almost, but in their own present. It's a whole other world. It is seperated away from the horrors that us, the 'Muggles' go through. I wish I could live there.
But even if I had, I wonder what my life might have been like. Would I have married who I married? I will not say his name. I do not like his name anymore. Would I have had Hermione? How different would my life be? So many questions that will never be answered.
Sometimes I will lie in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, visualizing myself in another life. Sometimes I live in this world, the world I am in now, other times in the Wizarding World I have read so much about. Sometimes I am in some world I have read in a book... a fantasy world. The worlds that sometimes seem so perfect, but our troubled by their own faults. Faults that seem so miniscule, sometimes, compared to my own.
In my mind, I am not an adult yet, really. I don't have the responsibility I do now. I don't sit there, drilling peoples teeth all day long. In my heart, I am still wishing to be a child. A teenager, even. They think they have it so hard... try being me. Try being many people out there who have it so much worse.
It annoys me when people complain about the lives they have. They complain about something so miniscule, like they don't have a certain type of food, when people out there have no food at all.
That's one reason I chose to become a dentise. I get to watch as people get cavities, or a tooth pulled, usually because it was their own fault.
People take things for granted. They don't realize that the roof above their head might not have been there if one thing in the past had changed. They don't notice that things won't last long if you don't appreciate them.
Like a tooth. If you do not take care of your teeth, they will get cavities. They might need pulled out. Because you didn't appreciate the things you have.
If you don't take care of your life, something will happen to just make it worse. I learned that. I didn't take care of my marriage, and now it is failing. It caused me to lose my little girl. She ran away. Why, I am not sure exactly. If I could, I would run too. But I can't. I won't. I'm not sure which, but I am still here.
I have a cat now. I have a house. I have food. I have clothing. I have water. I have some things to keep myself busy. I have a wonderful job. But I don't have family. And I'm not sure if I can live without family. I have lost them both. I have pulled myself away from both...
I fear Hermione has inherited that from me. We both, and I know this, when confronted by a problem, pull ourselves away from the people around us who care. And that could be my ruin. But I know it won't be Hermione's, beacuse she learns... She learns from mistakes. Hers, or mine.
I just hope her life will be better than mine has... The life I took for granted. The life I now wish I hadn't done so to.
