CHAPTER 1

I watched her as she sweetly exchanged sweet gazes with him. Or in my perspective, disgustingly exchanged sickeningly sweet gazes with him. It will not be in vain if said gaze is directed towards me.

Me.

But no, of all the people, the universe conspired that it should be him. My annoying and hard to live with brother. A freaking cliché. So, what if I'm a girl? It's not a problem. I'll take care of her like a man should.

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"Hey daydreamer! Very early in the morning to have murderous thoughts!"

"Shut up"

"Hmmm, I see. Fiery. You know, you are just wasting your time pinning your attention to her. Get a man. Take me for example." Shaoran smirked.

"Yeah you should be minding your own business. If I know, I have a bigger dick than you."

Only him knew the truth. Not my brother. Not my family. Not my friends. Definitely not her.

For unknown reason, Shaoran knew all along.

"Sakura, Sakura. Mind the date when you'll be completely under my spell. You'll beg for every touch that I could give you. You won't even remember your name."

He stepped closer to her.

She never backed down. She closed the gap between them. Only centimeters away now.

"Since when you are saying that exactly? I even memorized it. Get real. How about never?"

"Little one, you know nothing about seduction." He smiled seductively, yeah, take that, seductively.

In spite of herself, she blushed then pushed him away. Hard. He stumbled but laugh anyway.

"See, you are affected by me and I'm not touching you yet."

"Jerk!"

She turned her back to him and walk away while giving the middle finger.

"You must do something about your boner. It will be a problem; the class is about to start."

She still heard his laughter.

"Hey, don't leave me here!" was the last thing she heard.

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"Sakura-chan! How's your weekend?" nicely asked by Tomoyo.

"You mean my brother's?"

"Don't be rude. It's not because I'm with him that you're not important to me anymore. I am still your best friend."

"Says who? You did not listen to me or to any of my advice. You're his cousin for God's sake!"

"Yeah, a very long distant cousin, at that. That no one really ever care. Except for you."

"What do you imply? That I am such a wuss, a party pooper and evil witch in your love story?"

"I never said that. I just want us to be back. I miss you Sakura-chan."

And the bell rang for the next period. Tomoyo did not hear the mumble of her best friend saying that she missed her too.

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I am such a wuss, a party pooper and evil witch in their love story. Believe me, I know.

I hate it. I hate this. Having feelings for Tomoyo and holding grudges against my brother, so wonderful that I might puke. The best thing is concealing the truth to them, to my family, sarcasm included.

We've been childhood friends, a friendship that literally started in our cribs. We are inseparable.

From telling hushed secrets to one another, laughing about our first date and first kiss and crying out our failed attempts in life. She truly is my best friend.

And came the confusion. It started when we enter high school. I have crushes on the boys in my neighborhood long before, but I saw myself thinking about her in a different way. Dreaming things with her in a different way.

I wanted to touch her. I wanted her just to be with me. Hear her voice and her melody.

I wanted to steal her.

The realization is instant that it's like a bomb that blew me away or it's just my acceptance of truth cannot keep up with my feelings. Either way.

The last straw is when they became an official thing six months ago. Imagine my shock. I am aware that she has a crush on Touya since then but did not suspect a breath that he reciprocated it. She said she kept it a secret because she did not want to preempt her only chance with him. I retaliated and reasoned out that he is way older (5 years gap) and her cousin to say the least. And on and on.

That was our biggest fight.

I thought that my world will collapse just remembering it. I became an angsty teenager and blamed it to hormones. My family was concerned but really did not intervene thinking I am just having issues just like with my brother before. Only if they knew.

Basically, that's the summary of my life. I am in love with my best friend who happened to be my brother's girlfriend. Don't forget that I have a creepy stalker who keeps dissing his perverted ideas to me. What a strange world.

I might go to hell.