A/N: I thought I had got through the end of Season 2 of HoDwithout needing to rewrite anything else. Not so! lol Now, I'm never not going to have a problem with a guy who cheats, BUT I can't exactly say that Wade is the only one to do wrong in the Zade relationship. Zoe is not innocent. She never cheated, but her behaviour bugged me more than once, and so, lets see what we can do about that... ;)

(Disclaimer: All recognisable characters and any recognisable dialogue from Hart of Dixie belong to Leila Gerstein and other folks who aren't me).

Part 1 of 2

Maybe the last person Wade was expecting to see waiting for him when he got home was Zoe Hart. Of course, he made a joke about her not winning prom queen when he realised she was upset about something. It was easier than actually dealing with the problem, after all, but she couldn't even be goaded into a playful fight tonight.

"I've had a very hard night, and I feel terrible," she told him, obviously tearstained, probably drunk. "So, for a while tonight, I'd like to feel better, and not talk."

Her meaning couldn't have been any clearer and it wasn't that Wade wasn't very, very tempted, but they had been down this road before, and he had come to far to walk the same line all over again.

"Well," he said, shaking his head, "here's what you might call a plot twist, doc. No."

Wade was pretty sure he never saw her eyes go quite that wide before. It might have been funny any other night, but he was all out of humour this go around.

"No?" she echoed. "I don't understand."

"I guess you wouldn't." Wade nodded, still wondering if he knew what he was doing himself, but he had come this far and he planned on seeing it through.

He gestured for Zoe to sit back down then dropped his tool belt and such onto the table and pulled up the other chair to explain to her.

"See, you've had a bad day, I can see that, and the truth is, so have I, but the difference is, mine helped me figure out a few things that I've been struggling with these past few months.

"I hired a contractor to come to the Rammer Jammer today and fix some serious damage. Turned out he was some kind of con artist, and he left me holding onto a supporting beam while he emptied out the register and ran. So, there I was, literally holding the building that I half-own up over my head. Gave me a lot of time to think about some things and, damn, if it didn't hurt too," he said, hand going to his own arm that ached yet, while Zoe looked on.

"The point is a lot of that thinking I was doing was about you. Started out, I was thinking how Lemon was gonna go crazy at me for losing the money and wrecking the place... again, but after a while, when my arms were getting tired and I was wondering how much longer I could keep holding on, I started thinking about you, what I did to hurt you, how things had been with us before.

"We're a real pair of screw ups, doc, you know that?" he told her with a smirk he couldn't help, especially when he saw the expression on her face. "I thought it was just me, at first. Thought I wasn't worthy of nobody, least of all someone like you, but then I looked at how far I come these past few months, and do you know what I realised? I'm doin' alright. I realised that if that roof had come down on my head, there would be people who gave a damn, and people who would want to help me out. Damn it, they actually did come help me out. Twenty people or more showed up at the Rammer Jammer tonight and we fixed up the place, all together, like it was worth something. Like I was worth something."

Zoe blinked at him. "I always knew you were worth something," she said softly.

Wade bit his lip and thought on that a second.

"Yeah, well, maybe," he considered, "but it took me a while to see it, and for all that you're sayin' right now, doc, some of that worthless feeling I had before, that's on you."

There were those wide eyes again, but Wade wasn't quitting, not when he had already come so far.

"You used me, Zoe Hart," he told her straight, with no malice to speak of, just truth. "I'm not denyin' that I let you do it, but that doesn't make it okay. Way back before anything ever happened with you and me, you knew how I felt about you. I know that you knew. Now, I thought I could handle it. You know, when we both said it was just sex and all. Maybe because a part of me hoped you were gonna change your mind eventually. Guess I shoulda known better."

"I did change my mind."

"Did you? Really?" he checked, a little anger creeping in now that Wade couldn't control. "Because from what I hear, even now, after everything, after you and me were supposed to be for real and you were so heartbroken over what I did, you still went running back to George Tucker... again!"

"That was a mistake," Zoe all-but yelled, eyes following Wade as he got up from his seat.

"You bet your ass it was," he told her, meeting her eyes. "He's real broken up over Tansy leaving, doc, and that's on you too," he said, pointing a finger at her.

"You don't think I know that?" she yelled, getting up too. "So, what, what's your point? We're both screw ups? Fine, I don't deny it, but what you did to me-"

"What I did to you was the worst thing I coulda done," Wade cut in, just as loud as she was for a minute, and then quiet and sincere as he had ever been in the next moment. "I know what I did. I have to live with it, same as you, and... and it kills me, Zoe. Nothing could hurt as bad as knowing I did that to you and I will be sorry for it for as long as I live, but you gotta realise, I am not the reason your life ain't what you want it to be," he told her firmly. "You're a crazy person, doc, just plain crazy as all get-out. I think you've still got that picture in your head of what your life is supposed to be like and every time things don't match up, you act like it's everybody else's fault, like it's all such a great tragedy being you. Well it ain't.

"Like I said, I hurt you and I'm sorry for that, but for everything else, you gotta look to what you've been doin' and ask yourself what in the hell the point of it is. Figure out just exactly what it is that makes you happy, doc, and go for it. Stop throwing yourself from one thing to another and one person to another, expecting everybody else to fix it, because they can't."

Zoe bit her lip then swallowed hard, clearly trying not to cry any more than she already had.

"You made me happy once," she reminded him sadly. "I wish you could again."

If anything was going to break Wade right now it was that look in her eyes and the tremble in her voice when she spoke, but he couldn't give in, he couldn't let any chance of them possibly making things work in the future slip away because they both had a rough day.

"I know, me too," he told her, reaching out to gently push her hair back off her face, "but baby, you gotta figure this one out on your own. The truth is... well, the truth is that I love you," he confessed at last, hand lingering at her cheek, "that much I do know for sure, but I also know that you can't forgive me yet for what I did."

When she looked away, he knew he was right, much as he wished he wasn't. Wade had to swallow hard before he could go on.

"Maybe someday you'll be able to, and if you do and you can give me a second chance, I will be the happiest man on the whole damn planet, but until then, Zoe, I can't... I can't let this whole crazy merry go round of knives cut us both to pieces again.

"So, I'm gonna go to my bed, by myself, like I have every night since... And I think you should go to yours," he told her, not minding how surprised she looked. "Get some sleep, let this mess of a day pass by, and start over tomorrow. Figure out where you're going, doc, and how you want things to be," he advised, picking up his things ready to go, "and try not to step on too many more people getting there," he added, turning around and walking away, no matter how much it hurt them both.

End of Part 1

A/N2: Second part will be up ASAP. I have a feeling it's not going to come as easy to me as this which basically flew down onto the page, but hopefully you'll see it tomorrow... maybe Wednesday :)

IMPORTANT: For those that don't know, I'm watching Hart of Dixie for the first time and trying to avoid spoilers, so while I will be extremely grateful for any reviews I might get on this story I would appreciate nothing that might spoil me for Seasons 3 or 4. Many thanks in advance :)