There she was again, flitting through my mind. I scowled bitterly.
She's always there with those
Chocolate Brown Eyes
They invite me to look into them. Nothing but an invitation for pain. She could never love me. There is nothing there but hate. And yet, I find myself thinking about them all the time. I wait above the staircase, as she turns to go to her dormitory, laughing with her friends. If only I was a crease across her lips. Her gaze turns to me, full of passionate disgust only equaled by the power of my stare, glaring over her. She turns her head and the feeling lingers. It never wears out. I wonder if my heart skipped a beat or two.
I wonder if I'm alone in her hands. Does she put me aside, worse than the rest? I growled menacingly to get rid of some nosy first years. They scattered. It's not so easy when you're all alone. I turn and I'm gone with a twist of my robe, swiftly as a shadow. Walking away, it's not the same as running, is it? I snorted. She's just another love I would abuse. I couldn't convince myself. I serve my head up on a plate.
I sit alone in my common room, thinking about her again. I doubt I have ever stopped thinking about her. I think about her smiling and how it wasn't me there to make her laugh. I think about how I never wiped away a tear or touched her skin. Then, my heart is shattered to nothing. I wonder if I even have a heart. Guilt and anguish consume me. They tear out my only words and silence fills the room. And I have already lost everything I am, and everywhere everybody will forget me, forever. She will forget me. I have never uttered a kind word to her ear. I hang my head in shame and tear open the sleeve of my coat. It burns my forearm.
Staring at the wall, there is nothing more to think about. Her face fills every crevice of my mind. Suddenly, I'm jealous and sad and angry and in love at the same time. I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind. And she could never love me. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want to make this right. These hands scream "take this, this medicine is just what you deserve. Swallow, choke, and die." The cap is twisted, begging to be used. And so am I. As for her, she will never know. I sigh, a hint of sadness in my voice. She only knows that tonight--- there's always someone out there. She'll never be alone. It's not enough to believe that she is real. Not anymore.
Chocolate Brown Eyes
They invite me to look into them. Nothing but an invitation for pain. She could never love me. There is nothing there but hate. And yet, I find myself thinking about them all the time. I wait above the staircase, as she turns to go to her dormitory, laughing with her friends. If only I was a crease across her lips. Her gaze turns to me, full of passionate disgust only equaled by the power of my stare, glaring over her. She turns her head and the feeling lingers. It never wears out. I wonder if my heart skipped a beat or two.
I wonder if I'm alone in her hands. Does she put me aside, worse than the rest? I growled menacingly to get rid of some nosy first years. They scattered. It's not so easy when you're all alone. I turn and I'm gone with a twist of my robe, swiftly as a shadow. Walking away, it's not the same as running, is it? I snorted. She's just another love I would abuse. I couldn't convince myself. I serve my head up on a plate.
I sit alone in my common room, thinking about her again. I doubt I have ever stopped thinking about her. I think about her smiling and how it wasn't me there to make her laugh. I think about how I never wiped away a tear or touched her skin. Then, my heart is shattered to nothing. I wonder if I even have a heart. Guilt and anguish consume me. They tear out my only words and silence fills the room. And I have already lost everything I am, and everywhere everybody will forget me, forever. She will forget me. I have never uttered a kind word to her ear. I hang my head in shame and tear open the sleeve of my coat. It burns my forearm.
Staring at the wall, there is nothing more to think about. Her face fills every crevice of my mind. Suddenly, I'm jealous and sad and angry and in love at the same time. I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind. And she could never love me. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want to make this right. These hands scream "take this, this medicine is just what you deserve. Swallow, choke, and die." The cap is twisted, begging to be used. And so am I. As for her, she will never know. I sigh, a hint of sadness in my voice. She only knows that tonight--- there's always someone out there. She'll never be alone. It's not enough to believe that she is real. Not anymore.
