Disclaimer: I own nothing.
AN: Hmm, yes. My first decent look into HP fanfiction and of course it's of my favorite pairing. I'll be completely honest and say that when it comes to the facts (dates, times, specific happenings), I will probably be lacking in accuracy. Feel free to correct me.
I'm going to go ahead and have this set in sixth year. And if I'm to stick with this whole honesty thing, then I should mention I have no idea what's going to happen with the whole 'Draco's supposed to kill Dumbledore, yadda yadda yadda' thing. So feel free to try to persuade me, if you care in the least.
Oh, and another thing: this story will also be a chance for me to be selfish and use it to practice some writing techniques that are my weak points. Feedback is lovely.
Onto whatever my overactive imagination could come up with.
"What we have is based upon moment-to-moment choices of what we do. In each of those moments, we choose. We either take a risk and move toward what we want, or we play it safe and choose comfort. Most of the people, most of the time, choose comfort. In the end, people either have excuses or experiences; reasons or results; buts or brilliance. They either have what they wanted or they have a detailed list of all the rational reasons why not."
It was late, how late I hadn't even bothered to check. It was stupid of me, I know, but I'd fallen asleep in the library. How typical of Hermione Granger, right? I'd awakened by a thud sound from nearby. I jerked up ungracefully and scrambled to my feet. The only light I could see by was a candle I'd lit hours ago. It was nearly burnt out. The rest of the surrounding area was pitch black. Everyone must have left long ago…except for whoever else was in there now with me.
I then realized that my knees were bent awkwardly, as if ready to crouch down at the first sight of danger. I was cowardly even subconsciously. I felt like rolling my eyes at myself as I reached for my wand in my robes.
Thump. This sound was different. It sounded like a book being put back in its place between two others. I knew it well. Reluctantly, I took a few steps forward. My shadow hid any light I could have used from the candle behind me. My breathing was already picking up its pace. My wand was held out in front of me as I blindly felt around the corner of a book shelf. I didn't dare light my own wand for it was still dark around me. Sure, whoever it was must be close if I can hear them so distinctly but it's not as though I was about to make them aware of my presence. That would be incredibly daft.
"Blaise, just shut up and go back!" a familiar voice whispered angrily.
"No, you need help. I can't believe you're even doing this at night. What if some professor came in and saw you looking at these?" Blaise Zabini. What was who looking at?
"I'm sure it wouldn't come as a surprise," the other boy sneered. "Besides, what else do you expect me to do? Come here in broad daylight? Yeah, cause that would be bloody brilliant."
I was still scuttling closer to the voices, slowly making progress. It was as if I had no choice in the matter. I could hear them clearly enough, so why were my feet still edging nearer and nearer? An inexplicable feeling of missing out on something significant clutched at me and overtook my rational reasoning. This was a bad idea, a very bad idea. And yet, I continued to make my way towards the pair.
"Draco," I gulped. Malfoy. Why hadn't I recognized his voice before? "Just get what you need so we can go," Blaise sounded distressed and more than eager to get out of the abandoned, more or less, library.
"I didn't ask you to come. Don't expect me to hurry up and leave for your sake. You want to go? Go."
And then it happened. My elbow hit a book that must have already been teetering close to the edge of the bookcase and fell. It hit the floor loudly and the sound echoed throughout the room. Fatal mistake number one. I stopped dead in my tracks, apprehensive of what was to come. Silence.
Blaise was the first to speak. "Did you hear that?" Malfoy didn't say anything. "Fine, I'm getting out of here. I'll see you back in the common room."
I listened to his retreating foot steps. With him gone however, it was entirely quiet. My heart was beating rapidly, terrified of the unknown. Next I heard footfalls coming towards me, wherever it was that I stood. My eyes widened and I began walking backwards. The other footsteps stopped. I was motionless. The pattern repeated itself and I was stuck in limbo again, waiting for Malfoy to pick up his walking again.
Just as I heard foot against floor I also heard, "Lumos."
I stumbled backwards and fell right on my arse. A gasp escaped my lips. I was sprawled out on the floor looking up into the pale face of my enemy. His eyes were narrowed and his brow furrowed. He looked perplexed more than anything.
"Granger," his voice was low, dangerous.
I swallowed hard in response, but was silent. I worked on getting up off the floor and was on my knees reaching for my wand when I heard him speak.
"Good. On your knees at my feet, just like you should be." His voice was cold, as were his gray eyes when I looked up into them. My indignation took the place of my apprehension and fright.
I stood up and said while doing so, "I'd rather be dead than considered anywhere respectable on the ancient social ladder your pureblooded family refers to."
"I'd rather you were dead," he replied casually but with malice nonetheless.
I set myself up for that one but didn't feel embarrassed at all. "I'm sure of that." I busied myself by brushing off my robes.
"Oh, leave the sarcasm Granger. Go shag some dim-witted fool and stop wasting my bloody time, and for Merlin's sake stop spying on me!"
I was enraged. "You prick! I can't believe you're pretentious enough to think I'm here to spy on you." My temper was getting the best of me and I had to stay in check, make sure I didn't lose it completely. Hexing him was out. That would be very unwise of me. Even I wouldn't dare take my wand to him of my own accord while we're by ourselves at night in the library.
He lowered his wand slightly making me squint to see his face. His jaw was held awkwardly and he was staring at a spot on the floor. Where was the witty come back? Even if he did have one he was about to say, it would be quite delayed.
"Then why are you here? Meeting someone?" He quirked an eyebrow and smirked. I wanted to smack him. Prat.
"I fell asleep if you must know," I answered in a sardonic tone. "What are you doing sneaking around here so late?"
He glared at me. "Nothing that concerns you…" his voice trailed off.
I stared at him angrily and folded my arms across my chest. "You owe me some sort of explanation." Okay, so that was a lie. Just because serendipity was playing cruel jokes on me didn't mean he had to explain himself to me. My curiosity was eating away at me though.
He chuckled maliciously and said, "I don't owe you a thing, Granger."
A shiver ran down my spine at his tone. I should probably have been afraid, but was not. I inquired further despite my own common sense. It was like provoking a lion- a remarkably stupid thing to do in all aspects.
"So what were you reading that would be so disapproved by everyone?" I asked him, nose held high and all. He took a few steps forward and I swallowed hard. Still, I stood my ground.
"Again," he spoke through gritted teeth, "Nothing that concerns you."
I shrugged as if not even fazed by my own defeat. I turned on my heel to leave. "Very well. Then I'll just ask Blaise about it when I see him tomorrow."
I'd barely taken a step when his hand gripped my elbow and twirled me around to look him in the eye. I heard a sharp intake of breath and discovered it was my own. He was glowering at me as he said, "You will do no such thing!"
I yanked my arm out of his tight choke-hold grip. He let go but was hesitant to do so. I could tell that he wanted me to agree to his terms. Ha. He must be kidding himself.
"In case you haven't taken notice, I don't live by your rules." My voice was defiant and sounded audacious to my own ears. Honestly though, how could Malfoy….Malfoy expect anything different from me? I'm not some obedient little dog he can kick around!
I turned to leave but was swiftly turned around again. This time my back was pushed up against one of the wider bookcases. I grunted at the harsh contact. Painful, yes. Threatening, no. I still wasn't afraid of him…even if I was trapped between his tall figure and a bookcase.
"I don't have the time nor the patience to verbally spar with you until I get my way." Surprisingly, his voice was calm, almost as if he'd done this before. I knew some previously rehearsed speech I'd probably heard numerous times before was coming up next.
I sniggered. "Is this the part where you threaten to use your daddy's influential power against me?" I taunted. It was such a teasing, condescending tone. I couldn't help but think that it was rather intrepid of me…intrepid or just plain idiotic; I suppose both.
Malfoy simply glared straight at me. He didn't say a word. I was irritated and tired. I wanted to go to bed. I sighed dramatically and moved to duck under his arm at my right. He lowered it suddenly preventing me from escape.
"Malfoy, let me go," my tone was one of impatience and annoyance. It couldn't have helped the matter. Then, to make everything worse, I tried to physically push him out of my way. My hands pushed against his chest and then gripped on one of his arms trying to get him to lower it. I was, of course, ineffectual compared to him. He said nothing but did let out a chuckle now and then. Well, at least one of us found it amusing.
I tried to duck under his arm again but he grabbed both of my wrists, holding them both securely above my head. I panted at the physical exertion, and then I realized how he was looking at me. Malfoy stared down at me, a shadow slanting across his cheek bone (his left hand held both his wand and my wrists) and he looked amused. Too amused. Like he had something in mind…like there was some specific thing he was intent on doing. My pulse quickened.
"You do have quite the mouth on you," he said softly. It was too soft a tone compared to any other way I'd heard him speak over the years. To me at least. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. I gazed up at him from under my eyelashes. "Shouldn't you be afraid?" It was an actual question, I was sure. It didn't sound rhetorical and he was looking at me with questioning eyes. He expected me to answer. He didn't even sound embarrassed at having become aware of my lack of panic.
"I'm not scared of you," I lied. Even to me, my voice didn't sound convincing. It sounded meek and pathetic. The way he was looking at me was terrifying. I wouldn't say that. I'd never say that.
"It's very unwise of you to not be the least frightened by me," he whispered in my ear. My neck was turned and I was staring at his right shoe.
"Please," I was genuine in my plea, "let me go. I won't say a word." Maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I would. I couldn't foresee the future or even predict my own actions. But maybe if he thought I'd surrendered to him he'd leave me be.
His right hand was resting lightly against my ribs. My eyes closed and I felt like I was suffocating. I was frozen too, completely unmoving, not even putting up a fight.
"You know what I think Granger?" His voice was low and soft again but mocking also. I grimaced knowing I'd hear what he had to say anyway. "I think you like me." My eyes fluttered open, wide open upon hearing that. He was still speaking directly into my ear though. He couldn't see my face. All the same, he chuckled a bit, probably assuming my reaction. "I think you like me, but that damned Gryffindor pride of yours is getting in the way of you telling me…or even admitting it to yourself."
I craned my neck and my nose brushed against his chin. I closed my eyes and swallowed, trying to steady myself.
"You are the most arrogant person I've ever had the misfortune of meeting," my voice was as low as his had been. It was sharp and I was grateful for it. I hope it stung.
He moved a few inches closer to me and laughed. His right hand, his free one, fell to my hip and caressed me through my robe. I had to say something smart before this went much further.
"Oh gosh, have I wounded your ego? Such a shame."
Then his abdomen was against mine. His hot breath was on my neck and I couldn't even form coherent words.
"Does that mean you're denying it?" he asked, his lips just barely touching my skin.
"Malfoy, don't," I said breathlessly.
"It's not like I'm going to rape you or even do anything you don't completely," he paused for dramatics, "and wholly….and genuinely," he breathed against my ear, "want yourself."
I couldn't think. Being in close proximity to Malfoy under such circumstances was apparently a very bad thing. And then he was kissing up my neck to my cheekbone. My eyes were closed and I could hardly believe I had no complaints to any of it. It's true- silence speaks for itself. I was completely immobile though, stiff as a rock. It wasn't like I was egging him on…I just wasn't saying no either. It felt…I sighed audibly. He heard it and moved from the hollow of my neck across my collar bone.
"Malfoy," I said faintly. It didn't sound like a protest to me and apparently not to him either. My arms were still being held over my head. "Malfoy," I said again this time sounding a bit disinclined.
"What?" he finally asked. He sounded outraged at my tone. I whimpered. But it wasn't the kind of sound that would incite him, or anyone for that matter. I was confused and at a disadvantage and longed for the familiar of my own bed. He let go of me like my flesh burnt him to the touch. My arms dropped to my sides and I stared down at my own feet. I couldn't look up. I couldn't speak. But this time I could think. My mind was in over-drive actually. What was I doing here? And why was he…doing that…with me?
I could tell from the shadows on the floor that he was standing just a few feet off, at an angle from me. First, we were arguing and then I was pinned against the bookshelf. What in the name of…? I didn't have time to finish my thought though.
"And I thought you may have actually not wanted it."
"I," I started too weakly for my own likeness, "I-I didn't."
"Granger, if you're going to lie, you've gotta learn to be more convincing than that." How condescending could one person get?
"I couldn't help-" But again, I was interrupted mid-thought.
"Yeah, you can give me all that bloody crap about how you can't control your body." He grimaced as he spoke as if disgusted by the excuse. Then his face lightened and he leaned back against the opposite bookcase with a sly grin. "But what I want is to know what you're really thinking about inside that head of yours."
I felt my face heat up and knew that I must have been scarlet.
"Blushing?" he asked incredulously. "My, oh my. There must be some significant reason as to why you are so abashed. Ah," he took a chance to sigh dramatically, "who knew that beneath that cold exterior, you're actually lusting after me?" There was a long pause in which neither of us said anything. I was rendered speechless. I regretted not taking the risk and hexing him earlier.
This had to be the ultimate stare down of the millennium. He was expressionless making it impossible for me to read him. My face was still heated, this time from frustration and pent up anger…amongst other things.
"I wonder what you're truly thinking," he spoke aloud, "right at this moment." Now I knew what he was thinking. He was wondering what I was thinking. Well if that didn't just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…
"There's quite an easy and fast way to find out though. No sense in toying around when it's entirely unnecessary," his tone was lighthearted. It was disturbing. My breath hitched as I read into the statement. If ever given the chance to learn Occlumency in the future and prevent myself from ever feeling so vulnerable again, I would take it in a heartbeat. My lips were parted as I stared at him in horror. Anxiety made me want to double over. He watched me for a few seconds before frowning and understanding what I thought.
"Relax Granger," he said in an astonishingly reassuring tone, "I can't read your mind." I breathed a sigh of relief. He stared with a look of contemplation and then smirked. "…though that would make this entire ordeal much easier."
I simply glared at him. I still couldn't find the right words to assess my indignation with.
"But I like challenges," he said in that low, deep tone again. Then he straightened himself out and moved to take a step towards me.
I threw my hands out in front of me and suddenly found my voice. "Oh sod off Malfoy! Contrary to your conceited thoughts, not every female student attending Hogwarts wants you!" How could he…he didn't have any right to….where did he get off?! This was madness.
He was still, just a foot or so distance from me. "Then why," he stepped forward pushing me against the wall roughly, "do you have no objection to me doing this?"
His lips had found my neck again except this time I turned my head to grant him better access. I had to get a hold of myself. I parted my lips to speak, but as if he really did possess the ability to read my mind, he kissed me. I was in shock for a moment, remembering that I was supposed to be pushing him away and telling him to leave me the hell alone. But I found my arms encircling his neck and discovered to find myself returning the kiss with fervor.
My robes had dropped to the floor and now I was left in my school uniform. Malfoy was unbuttoning my collared shirt and sucking his way down to my chest. I arched my back and felt his hands tighten around my waist, holding me closer to him. I kissed him with passion I hadn't known I possessed; he seemed as taken aback as I. Then I felt one of his hands at the back of my knee lifting my leg up. The hem of my skirt rose higher and higher. I could feel it gliding across my skin. Then his fingers were tracing patterns up and down my thigh.
"Malfoy," I sighed. "Don't…" I never finished my thought. I didn't have the effort to speak anymore. All of this was insane.
"Stop?" he asked hoping to finish my sentence for me. That was what I was going to say. It still infuriated me that I couldn't leave him guessing. His hand traveled farther up my thigh. My knee was at his side and if it weren't for his hold and the bookcase behind me, I would have crumpled to the floor.
"I have no intention in doing so," he spoke. "But I must inquire Miss Granger," he whispered huskily against my ear, "Are you included amongst the seemingly large percentage of girls here that don't want me?" His fingers were pressing against my knickers, which were more than moist. He added pressure and I moaned. This was the most erotic experience of my life as of yet and it was taking place in the library of all places. How unethical.
Thump, thump, thump. It was someone's footsteps approaching. They sounded far away but loud enough to make us both stop what they were doing. He pulled away, carefully though, bringing my knee down and making sure I was steady before he let me go. And then he was walking away from the scene, carelessly so it seemed by his casual stance.
"See you later, Granger," he called back to me, still using a quiet tone.
I stared after him with wide eyes and then composed myself enough to put my robes back on. I took in a deep breath and walked away, sure that I would have looked ten times guiltier than Malfoy for anyone who would have seen.
AN: Okay, now that I've read it over…I realize how dirty it sounds when Draco and Blaise are vaguely discussing whatever book he's looking at. Or maybe my mind's just in the gutter.
Send me something, anything at all. Preferably a German Shepard puppy. But I'll settle for a review.
