A/N: This is my first attempt at a fic, I'm not sure if I should continue this or not, it really is a R/Hr fic however it is a rough process to get them together.
Chapter One: Poker Face
He lies in bed tossing and turning, it can't be helped. "Why did it have to happen? Why her? He could have anyone, why did he have to choose her?" Well, isn't obvious, she's Hermione the smartest, most beautiful, compassionate witch either of them ever knew. Is it any wonder he would have seen it too? He closed his eyes trying to block out that voice, that voice that he always hears yet hardly ever listens to. This was the voice that tells him to stop worrying about what other people think, he didn't listen. This is the voice that tells him to keep calm when 'the ferret' throws his snide remarks, he never listens. This was the same exact voice that tells him everyday since second year, to tell Hermione Granger how he felt, however by the time he took the advice it was too late. And now this voice is telling him the reason why Harry chose her.He knows what he should do, but it'll be really hard. A single tear rolls. The friendship is what's important, right? "I have to be the good friend, that's all I'll ever be, the third wheel like always, Ron Weasley crap for a Keeper, bad at spells and writing essays, hot tempered, stutters around girls, always on the side to Potter and Granger." He rolls over and sees his prefect badge. He looks at it with such loathing. "That shouldn't even be me."
"No one in there right mind would make Ron a prefect ...."Fred words stung, but Ron knew that was just Fred being his usual prat self, so it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt even when George told Harry "We thought Dumbledore was bound was bound to pick you." What had hurt was her reaction she couldn't even pretend to not be surprised. He couldn't bring himself to think about it. "She knew I shouldn't have got it",he muttered quietly as not to wake the other three occupants. That's when Ron realized there were only three other beds filled. Harry still wasn't back. He shuddered at the thought of what he and Hermione are doing right now. He looked at the clock, 1:08 in the morning. "What the hell are they thinking!? Do they want detention!?" his mind screamed as he sat up.
Just then he heard the doorknob turning, and lied backdown eyes shut pretending to sleep. "Ron?" Harry whispered, his voice felt to Ron like something piercing through him. For a brief moment Ron thought he would flinch at the sound off Harry's voice, but his composure was kept. Over the summer his brother Charlie taught him the importance of a "poker face", of course what the game poker was, Ron didn't know. He listen in darkness as Harry made his way to his respectable bed. Ron heard the rustling of clothes and sheets, then nothing. He still didn't want to open his eyes, he really wanted to try and sleep.
"Just be the good friend, you need it, you'll need them. Since you can't be with her, would you rather her be with anyone but Harry." Ron kept that thought running through his mind. He knew that Harry is the perfect choice for her, he'll take care of her, he can afford to buy her things, he'll love her, and she'll love him back. "And I'll be stuck with just being the good friend. Loving her from a distance, with no return for that love."
Just be the good friend. Good old Ron can be counted on for that, right?
Right!
Just be the good friend
just be her good friend
just be her good......
They were walking towards the Great Hall, she looks good today, she looks good everyday. And smells pretty too. He longed for her, he was finally going to give in to this voice in his head and tell Hermione how he feels. Now he just needs the right words. Ron stopped outside the closed doors to the Great Hall "Hermione?" he squeaked out.
"Yes?" Hermione said as she turned around, looking at him with those beautiful brown eyes. Ron froze, her eyes were captivating, he's drawing a blank. Why can't he speak? He knew what he wanted to say but could form the words. Gryffindor's never back away, and Ron is the sixth Gryffindor under Molly and Arthur Weasley, was he not.
"Um, will you... that is would you care to...oh, bugger.. Hermione will you go on a date with me to next Hogsmeade trip?". He did it, he couldn't believe he did but he finally took that plunge. It felt good. However that feeling dropped as did his face when, he saw how Hermione was looking at him, the look was a mixture of shock and pity. Pity, anything would have been better than pity. The last thing he felt he needed was for her to feel sorry for him after the rejection that's sure to come.
"Oh... Ron I'm sorry... I can't, I... I'm seeing someone.", it was too late. He missed it, how could he be so stupid, so thick. He had to get away before the stinging in his eyes produce tears. He couldn't let her see him fall apart. Poker face. He'd have to tell her not to worry with a straight face so she doesn't suspect he wanted anything more than just to hang out. But she looked like she had more to say.
"Under any other circumstance I would say ye-"
"Oh hey, don't give it a second thought." Ron said cheerily. "I just thought maybe I try, eh? I guess I should have taken you advice from fourth year to heart." he said with a chuckle as to lighten the mood, but Hermione didn't seem buy his charade.
"Ron..." she said with sympathy placing her hand on his shoulder, biting her lip as she moved into hug him. However Ron saw this and stopped her before their chests collided with one another.
"Hermione really! I'm fine." he said keeping her at arms length. "Really." Ron hoped she would accept the assurance in his voice.
"Okay then, lets go in and eat."
"Actually I have to go down to the Quidditch pitch I left my potions book in the changing rooms, I'll see you later." he said heading for the exit out of the castle. He stopped though, forgetting about one more thing. When he turned around he was grateful Hermione was still at the door. "One more thing, could you not tell anyone I asked, I'd never be able to live it down." he did not expect his request to sound pleading. But it did and she heard it. He could see it on her face.
"Sure Ron, I'll keep it secret."
"Thank you."
"Ron are We okay?" He knew what she meant, she wanted to know if they were still friends.
"Hermione, you and Harry are my best friends, and nothing will change that." He gave her a lopsided grin, waiting for her to return the smile. She smiled but he could see a hint of guilt in her eyes. Those beautiful chocolate brown eyes. He turned around and made his way to the pitch.
Walking towards the pitch he only had one thing on his mind or rather one person. Krum! It has to be him that duck footed, uni-brow sporting, grumpy seeker. Ron was seething, she would pick Krum. What would he give for just five minutes alone with Krum. Just him, Krum and a bludger bat. That would teach him. Krum wasn't there for her whenever Malfoy would call her a Mudblood, or when she was petrified by the basilisk, or to help with Buckbeak's appeal. The git can't even pronounce her name right.
Of course their was no potions book, but he could not let Hermione see his anguish, it hurts. It hurts and it's all his fault. He should have told her how he felt sooner, but now it is all moot. Tears trickled down, more and more, until he felt the sobs come out. He had himself a good long cry, a cry to end all cries for her. After this he will move on. There are other girls, he knew that much, but none that make him feel the way Hermione does when he is around her.
He made his way back to the castle, noting how late it is, he missed dinner. He climb step after step until he reach the fat lady's portrait, "wizard wheezes" he muttered. He entered the common room, and saw it was still full. He knew he should probably study, so he made for the stairs to the boy's dorm to get his books. That's when he saw her..... kissing Harry. They were at the foot of the girl's steps. So enwrapped in each other, they didn't notice as Ron silently made his way to the boy's dorm. "I think I'm gonna be sick" Once inside he felt like he was on the verge of passing out. All he could see is red. Fists clenched he hit the only thing near him, the stone wall of the room. Pain shot through his knuckles, passed his hand up his arm. That was good pain. Pain to make him for get the hole now forming in his heart. He hit the wall again and again. Until numbness came and his hand bloody. He then went into the bathroom to clean and heal the wound, since he wasn't good at healing charms and there was no way he was going to see Madam Pomfrey he simply used a make shift bandage. As he entered back into the dorm he cleaned the blood off the wall and floor with his wand. Ron climbed into bed and shut his eyes.
Harry and Hermione.....
"Why didn't I see it? Why didn't she tell me?" he thought to himself. "Because you never asked her who she was seeing." Ron awoke the next morning to see all the beds empty except his own. He got up and went into the bathroom to freshen up. He looked at the mirror, he saw how pasty and pale he looked. Dreaming about last nights events is not a good way of dealing with this. After a spot of washing he got dressed and made his way down to the common room. There Hermione and Harry were waiting for him holding hands.
Hermione immediately noticed his complexion, "Ron, what's the matter, you look extremely pale."
"Nothing, I just had a nightmare last night is all."he said, still surprised he can keep a positive exterior.
"Yeah, I can vouch for that, he was turning in his sleep last night, I'm sorry mate, maybe I should have woken you." Ron couldn't stand the hatred he felt towards Harry, but he wouldn't let it show.
"Don't worry, it was just a silly dream. I dreamt about that time you and me went into Aragog's cave."
"Oh."
Ron avoided Harry's gaze and looked Hermione's and his hands intertwined. "Is there something I should know here." he said with a smirk. No way he was going to show this bothered him.
Harry and Hermione exchange glances, "Well we weren't sure how to tell you this Ron, but, Hermione and I have started seeing each other for about two months now." Ron felt his false amusement slip, but instantly he regained it. "Are you angry?" asked Harry.
"No mate, just surprised you didn't tell me sooner." Ron said. His eyes shifted to Hermione she bit her lip with a look of concern towards him. Yesterday Ron would have melted at that, but now he couldn't stand it."Congratulations to both of you, I wish you the best." he said with a smile. She moved towards him, but Ron couldn't hug her....not yet.....maybe not ever again. It hurts to much. Before she could get to him, Ron had turned and was already making his way to the portrait. He loved Hermione and she'll never know.
He's not going to ruin this for her, Hermione deserved to be happy and she deserved someone better than him, Ron Weasley. "Harry deserves her more, it was always the two of them. I could never be apart of that.
I'm stuck being the good friend......"
A/n: On I rated this R for later chapters,although I only have one chapter after this, I suffer from writers block frequently. If you'd like to see it posted let me know.
