A Typical Super Smash Bros Fanfic
"Oh dear Palutena someone please save me!"
Pit's cries for help echoed down the halls of the Smash mansion, it wasn't long until every Smasher had assembled in the main hall where the screaming had come from. Even though all of them were there only the ones with swords were allowed to talk.
"Hya! Kyaaaaaaa!"
"No Link, I don't see Pit anywhere." answered Marth, who was busy looking at Roy's ass just because it was there.
Roy looked at Marth and thought for a second that he had seen the incredibly-iffeminet-swordsman turn away from him. Roy couldn't help but notice that he thought Marth was really sexy even though he had seen him plenty of times before and had never had a homosexual thought about him in his life. Roy's face started turning as red as his hair, which was really, really, really, really, really, really red.
"I think I heard something in the closet." said Roy who was trying to get everyones attention away from him even though whenever anyone blushes people don't ever actually notice unless they are looking really closely at your face, unbeknowst to Roy, Marth just happened to be looking really closely at his face and had noticed the blush. Marth then began wondering why he was looking at Roy's face and not his ass and/or crotch like he usually did.
Luigi made his one appearance in the entire fic and opened the closet door. Inside Pit was bound and gagged, covered in bondage. The smashers quickly set him free.
"It was horrible! She sneaked up behind me and-" Pit was cut off by a fat, lonely 16 year-old girl who ran up and hugged him. She started screaming in his ear.
"Oh my gosh! You almost escaped! I don't know what I would have done if I ever lost my precious Pit-y Wit-y!"
All the smashers (other than Pit who was trapped by the girl currently drooling over, and on him) backed away.
Marth pulled out his sword. "I've dealt with these creatures before..."
"What is it?" asked Ike.
"A fangirl," answered Marth, "she was probably going to write a fan fiction about one of us sword wielders having yaoi sex with Pit because he looks like an anime character."
Pit somehow managed to stop the girl from orgasming on him and started to talk to her.
"Look, I understand if you are a big fan of mine, I'm flattered! But please, PLEASE, don't force me to have yoiyoi sex with every other male character in Brawl, and at least don't treat me like this only because I look like someone out of (place generic anime #221090987 here), treat me like you would if I had stayed the way I looked in Kid Icarus."
Pit's fangirl gave him a confused look, "Whats a kid icarus?"
Pit ripped her to shreds with his swords.
"Well done Pit!" yelled Roy who began to look at Pit as if he was thinking dirty thoughts about him.
"Thankyou!" said Pit, right before he collapsed on the floor, exhausted from killing his fangirl.
Dr. Mario jumped out from the crowd of smashers. "Time to make my cameo appearance!"
Dr. Mario healed Pit.
"Well, my job as spend-two-sentences-helping-wounded-main-character-without-ever-getting-my-own-god-damned-story-guy is done! See you all next fanfic!"
Marth cut off Dr. Mario's head.
"Only characters with swords are allowed to talk!"
Kirby swallowed a beam-sword and became Sword Kirby!
Kirby: Can I talk?
Marth stabbed Kirby through the eye. "No."
Roy ran over to Pit. "Oh my gosh Pit I was so worried about you!"
Pit got up and faced Roy and blushed.
"Oh...well...gee, thanks."
Marth got really upset and grabbed Roy and dragged him to the other side of the room.
"What do you think you are doing!? This is a MarthxRoy youo fic! You aren't supposed to have feelings for any character but me! Nobody besides the two of us should even get any character development! Ever!"
Roy looked angrily at Marth.
"Don't you know anything Marth!? No yow fic is complete without a love triangle!"yelled Roy.
"You are right Roy, I am sorry. Now that we have had our one fight in this entire fic would you like to confess that you love me now?"
"No way! I love Peach!"
"But everyone knows Peach loves Mario, thats just a plain fact."
"Oh yeah, I forgot. Only idiots would pair me with Peach."
"Well then, shall we have our yoyo scene?"
"Whats a yoyo scene?" called Young Link from the other side of the room since everyone had been listening to Marth and Roy the entire time.
Marth yelled back an answer, "Its when me and Roy have hot sticky sex with each other!"
Ness through away his yoyo.
And so everyone lived happily ever after, except for Mr. Game & Watch and DK. Because Mr. G&W only stars in pity fanfics that only exist because there aren't enough fanfics about him, and DK because he has never been the main character of any Smash Bros fanfic to ever be submitted to FF. Net. and most likely never will.
Author's Comments: Well, I've been reading fics here on the SSB section of FFnet for a long time, and there are some great ones here. But there are also a lot of ones that use the same exact crap from other stories over, and over, and OVER again! To be honest this bugs the heck out of me. So I decided to write this, it reflects what I honestly beleives makes up the majority of stories here. Which is a sad, sad, thing. And before I get a ton of comments from people saying I'm homophobic or whatever, I'm not. Its just that MarthxRoy is quite possibly the most popular pairing here, and I am sick of seeing it. Especially since most of them are written by people who have never even played a Fire Emblem game.
I may write another chapter depending on how many positive reviews or flames I get.
REVIEW!
