The Elrond - Ring-Bearer Contract FrodoPotter Standard Disclaimer. Also, I have no clue how contracts are written, so, if you're a lawyer, don't sue me OR get on my back about how I didn't write it correctly.



Book I Title I

Line I

Thou shalt carry the ring of power.

Book I Title I Line II

Thou shalt not give the ring to Boromir.

Book I Title I Line III

Even if he asks nicely with a cherry on top.

Book I Title I Line IV

Thou shalt not give up, even if you are stabbed, bloodied, hurt, scalped, or murdered.

Book I Title I Line V

Or bitten by a giant spider and dragged to the Dark Lord's stronghold.

Book I Title I Line VI

Thou shalt not sue Rivendell for any digits lost on the quest or hospital bills resulting from wounds received on the quest.

Book I Title I Line VII

While the other members of the fellowship, your fairly loyal and probably not trustworthy companions, are allowed to turn back and claim they are not of use, you will be called "chicken" and taunted publicly if you return having not destroyed the ring.

Book I Title I Line VIII

Though you may receive the recognition and praise of Rivendell (embodied in a beautiful 3-karat fools'-gold paperclip chain), all your food, clothing, and other expenses must be out-of-pocket. We're cheapskates.

Book I Title I Line IX

Sorry, did we say 3-karat? We meant to say 2.

Book I Title I Line X

Any and all companions will be based on the lowest bid figures.

Book I Title II Line I

Thou shalt not show Elrond any cheekiness.

Book I Title II Line II

Or Glorfindel.

Book I Title II Line III

Or Galadriel, because she is one hot babe.

Book I Title II Line IV

But Celeborn is Okay.

Book I Title II Line V

I never liked him anyway.

Book I Title II Line VI

Thou shalt look like a deer caught in headlights in all scary or tense movie moments, including, but not limited to, Gandalf's death and the Cave Troll scene.

Book I Title II Line VII

Thou shalt wear blue contacts, because the girls these days are turned on by blue eyes. Arwen told me- apparently Aragorn is naturally brown-eyed.

Book I Title II Line VIII

Thou shalt have intimate moments with various members of the fellowship and restrain yourself from hurling rotten fruit at members of the audience who claim you must be gay.



Book I

Title II Line XI

Thou shalt wear tights.

Book I Title II Line X

Extra points if they are sparkly.

Book I Title III Line I

Thou shalt not become slashy with Gimli.

Book I Title III Line II

Thou shalt not giggle when Arwen pronounces Asfaloth's name Ass-Fell-Off the first time.

Book I Title III Line III

Thou shalt not engage in chanting "JACKASS! JACKASS! JACKASS!" in a crowd, no matter WHAT the occasion. (Inside joke.)

Book I Title III Line IV

Thou shalt not make any inside jokes.

Book I Title III Line V

Thou shalt not hit on Galadriel.

Book I Title III Line VI

Thou shalt not tell clean jokes.

Book I Title III Line VII

Thou shalt not call Aragorn or any other member of the fellowship a "pervy hobbit-fancier".

Book I Title III Line VIII

And don't worry, Sam really will kill him if he tries anything.

Book I Title III Line IX

Not that he would.

Book I Title III Line X

Thou shalt not steal lines from Cassandra Clare.