Words: 3,655
Disclaimer: I was sick recently but now that I'm better, it's pretty clear that I still own… nothing….
Notes: Another modern AU, yaaaaay, so original. If this gives off a Friends sort of vibe, then my job here is done.

(chapter 1)
"fact"


8:58 AM - 9 Sep 2015 : Having sex can unblock a stuffy nose.


The joke wasn't as funny when Kagome actually took his words seriously and bolted from the couch.

"Whoa!" Miroku exclaimed. "Kagome, where are you going?"

"To have sex!" was her astonishing response.

"Wh–it was a joke, Kagome! A joke!" Miroku frantically shoved his chair backwards and stumbled off of it in his haste to catch up with his roommate.

"Even jokes can help at this point," Kagome called back, stuffy nose and all. Miroku caught a glimpse of her bundled form slipping out of their living room towards the entrance of their shared apartment and hurried after her.

"Kagome, would you listen to yourself? It was a tweet, from an American account no less, it probably isn't even true!" Miroku said, stomping after Kagome.

"The account is called Fact, and that's good enough for me," Kagome replied, sneezing violently at the end of the sentence.

"Ka–this is ridiculous, would you go back to your room? You're gonna hurt yourself," Miroku begged Kagome, finally catching up with her at the front door. She was slipping into a pair of sneakers he was sure were his while she glared up at him.

"Don't you talk to me like that, or I will drive every single girl you bring home far away from this city," she threatened as viciously as she could standing in Miroku's sneakers, dressed in her pajamas and a hoodie that stunk of bedridden sickness. Still, the threat was effective and Miroku flinched at the thought of Kagome scaring away all of his potential evening companions.

"I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry, now would you please come back inside and I'll make you some more soup. What do you say?" He waited with open hands and bated breath for Kagome to step out of his sneakers and away from the front door. Kagome studied him with a blank look on her face, pondering his words before her face contorted with the features of someone who really needed to sneeze. So she did. Four times.

"You see?" Miroku persisted. "You're in no condition to even leave this apartment. Forget the tweet. Come back inside!"

Kagome raised a weak hand to shoo Miroku away and reached for the door handle.

"No. No, I've made up my mind. I have an incredibly important phone call tomorrow morning and I cannot afford to wake up sounding like this!" She gestured at her throat with both hands to emphasize her point and Miroku found that he couldn't really argue with her. She did sound pretty shit. It was a miracle he could still understand what she was saying in her delirious and stuffy state but that was probably just a testament to how long they'd known and been living with each other.

Before he knew it, Kagome had pushed the front door open and was shuffling outside the apartment into the warm and humid atmosphere of a Japanese summer evening.

"Kagome!" he lunged after her into the hallway in his bare feet and loose sleepwear.

"'Having sex can unblock a stuffy nose,'" Kagome recited, walking purposefully, albeit a little unsteadily, to their next-door neighbor's front door. "We both know there is no way on heaven and earth that I'll ever sleep with you–" Miroku's eyes twitched at the low blow, "–so maybe one of our neighbors will be so kind as to help me out for tomorrow's job interview!"

"You're going to embarrass yourself," Miroku warned her, keeping a safe enough distance so that he could support her if she stumbled, and still make a run for it if she decided to take out her fever-induced stress on him.

Kagome stopped right before their neighbor's door and, despite the fact that she probably (scratch that, definitely) wasn't thinking straight at the moment, still managed to shoot Miroku a familiar, unamused look. He noted that it was the one she normally gave him whenever he'd either said or done something particularly perverted.

"You know, you can stand there," Kagome said accusingly, "and pretend you're worried about our reputation as tenants in this building, but we both know–" she paused to swing her finger back and forth between pointing at Miroku's chest and then back at hers "–that you want to see what's going to happen, don't you, you lech?"

Miroku laughed uneasily. Really, she knew him too well.

"Now," Kagome stood up straight and knocked an awkward, mismatched rhythm. "Aren't these the three hot soccer guys?"

"They moved out two weeks ago," Miroku reminded Kagome, though if it were any other day, she would totally have remembered. (After all, they'd both helped the guys move out and Kagome had been adamant about serving them a nice, big meal for their lunch break.)

Kagome knocked once more but her fist stopped abruptly and rested on the wood of the door at Miroku's words.

"You're joking, right?" she asked, tilting her head ever so slightly towards him. "Then who the heck even lives here?"

The answer to her question came as the door opened inwards into the interior of apartment 50A and she fell forward, almost completely losing her balance.

There was a series of yelps - two, to be specific - one of which Miroku identified as Kagome's but another also feminine one that he didn't recognize. He moved forward to steady his friend, placing one gentle hand each on her waist and on her shoulder. Kagome shot him a quick look that promised to kill him should he try anything other than keep her on her feet.

"I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" Both Kagome and Miroku looked up and simultaneously dropped their jaws at the stunning, remarkable, otherworldly human being in front of them.

She was of average height and slim build but far from frail, if the wiry muscles running along her arms were of any proof. She had long brown hair and was wearing it down so it fell to her mid-back, and from the looks of the straightness of the ends, she probably just had it cut recently. But, at least to Miroku, the best part of the image the woman painted was that she seemed to be wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt that ended just above her knee, revealing the curve of her calves, the swipe of her heel, and the ends of her toes, which were painted a combination of solid pale greens, pinks and lavenders.

Miroku realized that he and Kagome had been staring for a little too long at that point but he honestly found it much too difficult to care.

"Well," Kagome muttered in front of him. "Not what I expected but I can definitely work with you."

Miroku squinted his eyes at Kagome and their lovely neighbor frowned a little in confusion before speaking up again.

"Can-can I help you with something?" she asked.

Kagome held onto Miroku's arm to pull herself up to her full height in order to look at the woman properly.

"Yes! Yes, actually, I'm Kagome from 50B," she began, "and I was wondering if you could–"

"–We're out of milk!" Miroku interrupted Kagome. "And, so sorry to bother you, but we were hoping we could borrow some." Kagome whipped around to glare at Miroku but ended up sneezing directly into the front of his shirt.

"Oh. Oh, sure," the woman said. "Why don't you come inside?"

She retreated into the apartment and left the door open for them to follow her in.

"Milk?" Kagome asked Miroku mockingly in a hushed voice as they entered the apartment.

"Sex?" Miroku retaliated. Kagome stuck her tongue out at him spitefully as she followed the woman with Miroku right at her heels.

"Excuse me?" the woman interrupted from the open kitchen just before the other two could really start going at each other's throats.

"Excellent wallpaper!" Miroku all but yelled, gesticulating wildly at the walls of the woman's apartment. Kagome groaned silently to herself but the woman just smiled in amusement, albeit a little hesitantly, and gave Miroku a weird look.

"Um, thanks," she said, bending over to open the refrigerator door, giving both Kagome and Miroku a wicked view of her ass, which was unfortunately still covered by the massive t-shirt. "My roommate actually picked it out. He's in here somewhere."

"Oh, he is?" Kagome asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Yeah, he's not the most polite guy–oh my god, where are my manners?" the woman reached up to touch her temple in embarrassment.

"I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Sango, and my roommate - wherever he is - is Inuyasha," she said.

"What kind of name is 'Inuyasha'?" Kagome snorted, sniffling as she giggled.

"And," Miroku asked Sango, "not that it's any of my business but what exactly is your relationship with him?"

Sango raised an eyebrow at her two strange neighbors, just about ready to give them the milk so they could leave her the hell alone before a door swung open with a deafening bang! as it hit the wall and revealed an angry, silver-haired roommate.

"You got a problem with my name or with me, then you can get the fuck out of my apartment," the man growled, his tone impatient and annoyed.

Kagome turned to greet the other roommate - Inuyasha, hah, what a name - and was about to tell him just what she thought of his name and his awfully rude attitude when she fully laid her eyes on him.

Perfect.

Yes, she could definitely work with this one.

His silver hair - a strange color but he pulled it off very well - was long and probably ran down to just above his butt if it weren't tied back in its current messy ponytail. A few strands had come loose towards the front of his face and fell across his forehead and down the sides of his cheeks. He was wearing a matching pair of off-white pajamas that had what appeared to be little brown puppies all over it. He wore the pants low on his hips and the button-up shirt wasn't buttoned up at all if Kagome was seeing clearly, and she so hoped she was seeing clearly.

"Miroku, don't wait up for me," Kagome mumbled to Miroku, who could just barely make out her words between the low volume and her stuffed nose.

"Kagome, don't do this," Miroku moaned, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as if he couldn't bear to witness the inevitable. (Oh, please. Kagome knew he'd be peeking. He wouldn't miss this for the world.)

"It was lovely to meet you," Kagome said to Sango, who could only frown at her before Kagome spun on her heel unstably and shuffled up to Inuyasha. The closer she got to him, the more Inuyasha seemed to shrink into himself and away from the stranger in the green pajamas who seemed to be carrying the plague with her.

"What-what the hell are you doing? Who are you?" he stammered, inching away from the sick girl as she closed even more distance.

"I'm Kagome," she greeted, her eyes a little red with sleepiness and her voice drowsy with fatigue, "and I need your help."

"What do you think you're doing?" Sango called from behind her, her eye twitching irritatedly.

Miroku, still pinching the bridge of his nose, opened his eyes. He wasn't going to miss this for the world.

Once Kagome had walked right up to Inuyasha and pretty much collided into his chest, she reached up to grasp at the collars of his pajama shirt (with a surprisingly strong grip for someone so ill) and dragged him down to kiss him. But she never got the chance.

"Whoa! What the fuck?!" Inuyasha exclaimed, yanking his head away from Kagome with all his might and turning his face as far as possible from her disease-ridden lips. "You're sick, aren't you?! What the hell's the matter with you!?"

Miroku couldn't help but snort at his roommate, a sound that didn't escape Sango's notice.

"Who are you people?!" she demanded, her hand subtly inching to a drawer behind her.

"Hey, hey, relax, we don't mean you any harm," Miroku said, raising two hands placatingly as he noticed Sango quietly open a drawer full of kitchen knives.

"Really?" Inuyasha yelled from across the room. "Because your friend here seems pretty keen on infecting me with whatever the fuck she has!"

"Having sex!" Kagome yelled loudly all of a sudden, making Inuyasha wince. "Can help unblock a stuffy nose!"

The other three individuals watched in silence as Kagome untangled herself from Inuyasha's pajama top and backed away slowly, a completely distressed and shattered look on her face. Her bottom lip started to tremble and Miroku feared the worst when she backed into a sofa and her knees gave out, forcing her to collapse onto the sofa's pillows and break out into violent, wet sobs.

Inuyasha stared at the girl incredulously before glaring at Sango and Miroku, his eyes shooting a fiery What the fuck?! in their direction. Miroku flinched under his gaze and approached his roommate.

"I'm sorry about this–" he began.

"Miroku, my interview is tomorrow!" Kagome wailed, interrupting him. "It's tomorrow and I sound like shit and I just know I'm going to say all the wrong things!"

"She sounds pretty sick," Miroku heard Sango mumble to Inuyasha, who'd tiptoed away from the general disaster surrounding Kagome.

"No shit, Detective," Inuyasha mocked. "How could you let these people in? What were you thinking?"

"They're our neighbors! I was trying to be nice! I didn't think one of them had to be quarantined and sterilized!"

Inuyasha groaned and smothered his face with his hands, rubbing from his jaw, to his cheeks, and ending at the top of his head. He glanced at their neighbors again, at the dark-haired man who was rubbing his sick roommate's knee soothingly, muttering soft words of comfort, and at the dark-haired girl who clutched at the strings of her hoodie tightly while trying to catch her breath with a stuffy nose, all the while sniffling about a "stupid tweet" and being "lonely and unemployed" and "a dishonor to her family". Maybe it was the extremity of the last bit he heard or maybe it was just pity for the girl and her poor sucker roommate, but whatever it was, Inuyasha felt his resolve crack a little and he sighed heavily, turning to Sango.

"Could you get my medicine from the top drawer?" he requested, turning away to retrieve a tissue box from the closet.

"You mean that gross stuff you always give me?" Sango wrinkled her nose dubiously but did as requested and reached up to retrieve a bottle of the dark liquid.

"Say whatever you like, you know it works like a charm," Inuyasha called back.

Miroku looked up from consoling his friend, startled by the sudden activity of the apartment's residents.

"Here," Sango said, appearing next to Miroku with a bottle of black medicine and a tall glass of water. She thrust the liquids towards Kagome and crossed her arms after Miroku took them from her.

"Drink the whole bottle in one go. It'll work best that way."

Kagome peered up at the woman before warily eyeing the bottle Miroku held for her.

"Trust me," Sango continued. "If anything's going to help you get better in time for your interview tomorrow, it's this."

That settled it. Kagome took the bottle, which Miroku had unscrewed open for her, sniffed the opening, and promptly gagged, shooting Sango a disgusted look. Sango in turn only shrugged and gestured for her to get on with it.

Steeling herself, Kagome took a deep, if not shaky, breath before chugging the bottle, cringing the entire time as she tried to ignore the acrid, bitter taste.

When she resurfaced from her quick but revolting journey, she found that not only could she breathe more easily, she could also see and think more clearly. The first thing she saw was the face of the man she'd pretty much harassed. A blush that had nothing to do with her sickness colored her neck as he loomed down in front of her, practically shoving Miroku out of the way to inspect the effects of the medicine.

"Here, blow your nose," he said, holding up a box of tissues. She did as he said and when she spoke afterwards, her voice was no longer as clogged or nasally as it was just a few minutes ago. Her eyes still stung and her cheeks were still blotched red from crying but that would go away with a few hours of sleep.

"Um, look," Kagome began weakly, stuffing the tissues in the pocket of her hoodie. She handed the bottle back to Miroku and took the glass of water from him. "All that stuff earlier … I wasn't thinking straight."

"Clearly," Inuyasha scoffed quietly. Kagome frowned at him a little and Sango cuffed him roughly on the shoulder before she continued.

"I'm so sorry for bursting in like this and causing trouble. I can't tell you how embarrassed I am," Kagome apologized meekly.

"How embarrassed we are," Miroku amended cheerfully, not sounding the least bit embarrassed. "But, we won't bother you anymore. We best be going now anyway. Thank you so much again for your hospitality and the medicine and the tissue and for almost having sex with my adorable roommate so she'd feel better for her phone interview tomorrow."

Inuyasha blushed at Miroku's words and shot to his feet, stepping away from Kagome to put space between them. Kagome's eyes widened and she lowered her gaze, taking large gulps from the glass of water to avoid any unnecessary eye contact.

"Um, whatever. Don't mention it," Inuyasha mumbled. "Really, don't mention this to anyone."

Sango reached down to steady Kagome by the elbows and helped the girl rise to her feet and walk slowly to the door with Miroku and Inuyasha following close behind.

"You should take better care of your friends, you know," Sango admonished Miroku gently as they approached the entrance of the apartment.

"Ma'am, I really don't think you know Kagome like I do," Miroku explained easily. Sango narrowed her eyes at him as she opened the front door.

"Don't call me ma'am," she said sharply before turning to Kagome. "And I don't think you'll need it but if you want more of that medicine, you know where to find us."

She offered Kagome a friendly smile which Kagome returned gratefully.

"I'm so sorry again," Kagome mumbled, humiliation written all over her face, which was slowly regaining a healthier color. Sango laughed genially.

"Don't worry about it. At least things have finally gotten interesting in this building."

Miroku gently ushered Kagome out the door so they could take the four or five steps to get home when they were stopped by Inuyasha's voice.

"Hey, you - Kagome, right?" Inuyasha called out to Kagome, fidgeting with something behind his back.

"Yes?" Kagome looked at him anxiously. She still couldn't quite piece together the evening's recent events. Yes, he was well built (so well built). Yes, he had an intriguing voice, and yes, she wanted to hear it again. Yes, he was so pretty she wanted to cry. No, she couldn't believe she indirectly asked him to have sex with her so she could breathe for a phone call tomorrow.

"Don't leave the apartment tomorrow if you can help it. And wear this," he revealed what he was messing with behind his back, a white filter mask, like one of the cheap ones you could get at any drugstore or hundred-yen store. Kagome was pretty sure she and Miroku had a few stashed in their own medicine drawer but the gesture was sweet and it certainly helped to ease the tension between the four of them. She took the mask and offered him a small smile. Inuyasha blinked at her before looking away and rubbing at the back of his neck bashfully.

"Now, g-go home and go to bed before you infect the rest of us," he stammered dismissively, ignoring the curious look Sango was throwing him.

As Miroku and Kagome wished them goodnight and headed home, Inuyasha's ears picked up Kagome asking Miroku, "You gotta make them a batch of your cookies as our way of saying sorry, okay?"

Inuyasha scoffed and shut the door quickly, mumbling to himself about his weirdo neighbors. He stalked away from the entrance and back to his bedroom where he'd been falling asleep before said weirdos had barged into his and Sango's lovely abode.

"Remind me again why we moved here," Sango requested, still staring at the door in amusement.

"Good view, good location, high floor. It was a good deal, remember?" Inuyasha replied without even turning around.

"I don't remember weird, lively neighbors being part of that deal," Sango said, heading to the living room where she'd been reading prior to their neighbors' visit.

"Well, clearly, it is," Inuyasha said, stopping at the threshold of his bedroom door and giving Sango a tired look. "And weren't you the one who said they'll at least make things a little more interesting in this building? It's about time, isn't it?"

Sango rethought her own words. It had been quiet ever since they moved into apartment 50A and she was glad for a little bit of noise.

As Inuyasha bade her a yawning good night, Sango settled back with her book, flipping through the pages to find where she'd left off, the two dark-haired individuals still in her mind. She had a strange feeling that she'd be seeing them far more often than the average neighbors and that her and Inuyasha's lives were going to get beyond just "interesting".

She wasn't worried though, not in the slightest. On the contrary, she was glad for it. And she had an inkling Inuyasha was too.

- fin -