Warning: Rated a high T for scenes of a sexual nature. If the scene becomes too much for you, skip down to the next line break.
The Lies We Live
Bright lights. Hundreds of matching beds for the smallest of people, wrapped in pink and blue.
You stand over one, perfect blond hair covering his adorable head. You smile, the joy of life banishing away the pain of birth.
A hand on your shoulder, a smile plastered on his face.
He's beautiful.
Who knew you had it in you, the brother comments.
He smiles at the teasing.
Maybe one day even you can make one.
Nah, too much work.
Says the one who hasn't had a relationship last over a month since Maya.
The banter continues, you faking a smile as tears build.
This should be the happiest moment of your life. You just brought a beautiful, wonderful, perfect little boy into the world.
But every time you look at those eyes, you are reminded of the shorter twin laughing beside you.
Paranoid, maybe.
After all, he's Cody's twin. It makes perfect sense for him to share some features with the little ball of life.
And that was only one night; you had been with Cody so many more.
But you can't forget the just perfect timing no matter how much you want.
Nine months.
To the day.
And as you leave the room, glancing at your son one more time, you feel like your heart is going to shatter.
And once more, your mind is brought to The Night.
It was the night of the party, the one-year anniversary of you and Cody. And London went all out, the finest of wines, the loudest of music, and more food than even Woody could eat.
You and Cody danced, his coordination even worse than normal thanks to the alcohol.
But neither of you cared, the joy of being together all you needed.
As your feet intertwined with his, the two of you fell to the floor, and with love driving out all care, you kissed him. His tongue sloppily danced with yours as you pulled your husband close.
Then you got up again, ready to party until the end of this endless night.
But he wasn't.
He always was a lightweight when it came to alcohol so instead, he went to some room upstairs to sleep. You remember Zack and London trying to get him to his feet (at least you think it was them) but you weren't done yet.
No, you wanted to live this night for all it was worth.
A dance.
A hug.
Maybe even a kiss.
Friends, strangers, you didn't care, nor spend the time to tell the difference.
And the drinks, you didn't know how many, but each one stung so good on the way down, the nausea demanding you consume more. All your cares were gone, the stress, the fear, all vanished by the power of that sacred elixir.
But the night couldn't last forever.
People left until you were alone.
Except for him.
Come on, Kansas. Let's get you out of here.
You don't remember what happened next, but you followed him to his car. Looking back, you now realize that he was drunk too, with all his stumbling and slurred speech and you hate yourself for riding with a drunk guy, but in your condition, you were in no condition to drive either and as much as it now scares you, you saw that Zack seemed used to driving in such a condition.
He took you into his house, yelling at you for taking so long to get up those steps.
But you finally made it.
Here, take the couch, he says, tossing some old dusty blankets onto the floor beside it.
What makes you think I'd want to sleep there?
You now see how selfish you were then, and wished you had acted more grateful for it.
Because I told you to.
He narrowed his eyes at you, but you just stood there, trying to stare, but you couldn't focus.
I don't want to.
Deal with it.
That did it.
You had enough of him; you couldn't stand his heartless arrogance any longer. How could he just let a girl sleep on the couch? Hadn't he heard of chivalry?
You ran at him, bringing your hand down, ready to slap that scowl off his face.
But he caught your arm and brought your face inches away from his.
You remember a single tear racing down your right cheek.
And then he smiled.
A soft smile, not the sinister evil one you expected from him.
You locked eyes with him, seeing in those marvelous blue orbs something familiar, but also something new. Something exciting that you wanted to discover.
And so you closed the distance, your mouths interlocking as all your anger turned into joy...and desire. The room spun even more than before and sweat began pouring down your body and sticking to your clothes.
Clothes that you felt lift from your body.
You looked down, Zack's hand rising up your thigh, burying itself within the confines of your little black dress.
He stopped once he caught your glance but you gave him a nod and a kiss, telling him to continue.
With ferocity you had never seen in a lover, he tore your dress over your head and let it land on the other side of the room.
You felt the air conditioning blow across your nearly bare body and he stepped away from you. His eyes gazed up and down along your body.
Wow.
You smiled at the compliment.
And not content to keep him waiting any longer, you unclipped the back of your bra and dropped your underwear to the ground. With a step forward you removed your heels and then, finally free of all restraints, you ran at him, his fancy clothes way too much for a time like this.
Once his jacket was gone and his shirt was unbuttoned (revealing a deliciously carved chest), he lifted you off your feet.
Not here, babe.
He carried you up the stairs as if you were as light as air and opened up the door to his room.
On the bed you continued, the room spinning more as he ran his warm hands along your body. You shivered as he paused at your most private parts.
With your legs, you pulled off his pants as the two of you embraced on his bed.
Though by this point, your vision had become blurry and as you stared at his amazing figure, your mind flashed to your husband.
Cody.
What was that?
Nothing, just take me.
You can't remember anything else from that night, the alcohol being too much. Sights sounds and touches blurred into a blend of confusion and shock, but you still can't decipher them.
The next morning you woke up with the worst hangover of your life. You felt as if your brain had turned to syrup and was going to leak out your ears.
You noticed the blankets around you (and how they needed washing) before throwing them off. You got up, then remembering you were completely naked.
You swallowed hard.
Still, you had to face the eventful night, so you opened the door to the soft sound of TV in the room below.
Zack? you nervously called.
You're awake?
He got up from the couch, only in his underwear. Instead of eyeing his body you looked to the floor.
Your clothes are by the couch. Get dressed and I'll take you home, he said without emotion or care. He ran by you and into his room, rushing by you and not daring to look you in the eye.
Thanks for taking care of her.
Not a problem, that's what brothers are for.
Yeah, I think I might have drunk a bit much last night.
A bit? Bro, you were trying to convince London to invest in a public force of killer penguins to stop the furbies from starting another Spanish Inquisition.
You would have laughed at your drunk husband's antics, but you were ready to drift away. You wondered if Zack would give any hint of what happened between you two. But, the way he was talking so casually with his brother worried you too, like he didn't think anything of it.
And you were hurt, though you know you should have been grateful that he was lying so well.
You couldn't let Cody know.
Not then.
Not now.
Not ever.
As you walk away from your child and bring your thoughts to the present, you can't help but wonder what life would be like not knowing. You look to Zack, and his eyes flash back to you for a moment.
Through a silent plea, you ask him if he knows that baby could be his. But as always, he walks away.
Either he's oblivious or wants to run from the truth.
And knowing Zack, it's the latter.
But, that will be for the best.
You take a one last look back before Cody wheels you back to your hospital room.
And you think of the lies you will have to tell to keep this new family together.
You will lie that day when he confuses Zack for Cody, calling him Dad.
You will lie when he asks why you and Zack don't talk much.
You will cringe when he says Zack would be a cooler dad than Cody.
You will dream of the truth, and scream at the nightmares.
You will lie to your husband when he asks you what's wrong
Because the truth is far scarier than all these suffocating lies.
A bit different than my usual for sure, but I really like how this turned out. Thanks to The Lovely Anomoly for betaing this.
I was inspired partly by cornwallace's dark twists and romance and Aimme's theme of lies being easier through her story Falling Through the Cracks and some pm conversations with her.
I've also thought about showing this story from Zack's perspective.
I thought there was something else I wanted to say but now I forgot...oh well, just please press that review button and maybe I'll remember it!
