Moonbeams showered over Potidea, lighting up the harvest festival. Xena leaned against the barn wall, completely at a loss for enthusiasm. Gabrielle's nose crinkled with pure joy as she bounced up to her friend. "Don't you just love it? All of the spicy scents of harvest? And the colorful leaves and the cool weather?"
"Fantastic," Xena replied. "So, this harvest festival thing lasts three whole days?"
"Yeah," Gabrielle confirmed, wrapping her long hair around her neck to one side. "Too bad we missed the first day."
"Yeah, too bad," Xena smirked.
"You really hate it," Gabrielle realized. "Oh, come on, Xena. Try to enjoy yourself. I really appreciate you bringing me but you can't be a bummer the whole time. Besides, tomorrow is the best day. They have a costume party. It's a big deal so be thinking about who you're gonna dress up like."
"Dress up? No thanks."
"Xena. Come on. This is my hometown festival. I used to go every year. I've really missed it and wanna have a good time."
Xena rolled her eyes. "Okay, then. I'll be a warrior princess," she teased, her blue eyes shining with jest.
Gabrielle became distracted by people dunking their heads into a wooden trough filled with apples and water. "Hey, this is new. Let's go check it out."
Gabrielle's sister, Lila jumped for joy. "Gabrielle! Xena!"
"Lila!" Gabrielle greeted with a lasting hug. "What's this game?"
"Oh, bobbing for apples. I'll show you. It's not easy. Nobody can get it on the first try."
"I can," Xena interjected. She dropped to her knees and bit into each apple, tossing them aside until all two dozen red fruits were on the dirt floor of the barn. Her entire effort took only seconds. The warrior flipped her wet hair back, looking like a sea goddess. "I have many skills," she purred.
"Showoff," Gabrielle barked.
#
Just as everyone was leaving, Joxer showed up. "I finally made it," he squeaked, "did I miss anything?"
"Just two days of festivities," Gabrielle snapped. "But tomorrow is the best day. There's a costume party." She looked to the vial of black liquid hanging around Joxer's skinny neck. "What is that?"
"Oh, it's a magic potion. Salmoneus sold it to me, he said it's from the Temple of Dionysus. It's called Trick-or-Treat or something like that."
"Well which is it?" Xena asked. "A trick or treat?"
"I dunno. But we'll find out later. I'm saving it for a special occasion."
"It's probably tar," Xena grumbled, thinking of Salmonues' usual deals.
#
The next morning, giggling woke Xena. The sisters were trying on costumes. "I'll be Aphrodite," Gabrielle jested, squeezing her cleavage together.
"And I'll be Ares," Lila joked, putting a black feather under her nose, trying to make it look like a mustache. "I hear he's very handsome."
"You heard right," Xena mumbled and sat on the side of the bed.
"If you think jerks are cute," Gabrielle scoffed.
"Yeah, usually, I do," Xena retorted.
After breakfast, Gabrielle insisted that Xena and Joxer go to the market to find costumes while she and Lila sewed their own fabrics. "What are you gonna be?" Joxer quizzed.
"I have no clue. I don't wanna do this crap in the first place."
"I'm thinking of using my potion. It wears off in one day so it couldn't do much damage."
"What does it supposedly do?" Xena humored him.
"It makes you become food. So, I could be something tasty."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"Salmoneus said that the priest of Dionysus' temple clearly said that if you get it on you, for one full day, you'll become what you ate. So, I ate a muffin for breakfast. And since Gabrielle loves muffins so much, maybe she'll like me better."
The idiot tripped over a large gourd and shattered the glass around his neck over the earth. The black goo splashed all over the warrior princess. A puff of thick dark smoke grasped her lungs. Darkness moved through her soul.
"Aw, man," Joxer complained. "I wanted to be a muffin. As if you need Gabby to like you any more. By the gods, what luck."
"Move out of my way," Xena growled. "I must pick a costume!" Her voice sounded deeper, her movements were even faster than usual. She rummaged through the material on a vender's cart until she found the perfect purple tunic with gold trim. "That's one hundred dinars. A true replica of Roman royalty," the merchant exclaimed. A swift punch knocked him out cold. She grabbed a fake golden laurel wreath and a matching chalice. She crowned herself and lifted the cup. "To Rome!"
"But you didn't eat Caesar," Joxer reasoned. "Why are you becoming him? All you ate was a salad. Dumb. I don't get it." He followed behind her. "Caesar. Salad. I don't get it."
He couldn't keep up with her, her moves were too fast. He raced back to Gabrielle's house. Xena was already there, waiting on him. Gabrielle blasted, "What did you do to her?"
"It's the spell. She must've eaten Caesar. She became him. Or at least dressed up like him and looks all crazy-eyed. The spell says you'll become what you ate."
"What you ate?" Gabriele mumbled. "Doesn't make sense."
"Oh, well. It goes away in one day. So, whatever."
Gabrielle looked to Xena and it dawned on her. "No, Joxer!" Gabrielle yelled. "The spell has to be that you become what you hate. Not what you ate, dorkface! What you hate!"
"Oh," he sighed. "Maybe I misunderstood."
"We need to help her," Gabrielle said. "And as much as I hate to do it, we need a god that can change her back. Someone, who understands darkness. And that would be Ares."
"Oooohhhh," Lila moaned.
"Shut up," Gabrielle sassed her sister. "I get enough of her falling at his feet. I don't need to from you, too."
"But it only lasts one day," Joxer reminded. "How much damage could she really do?"
"Xena? Becoming what she hates? Having that darkness in her?" Gabrielle said. "Oh, it could get really bad. And we'll have to trick Ares into helping. If he realizes she's like that, he may have too much fun with this."
#
Xena ran off to gather wood to build crosses. She had plans to kill everyone who defied Rome's authority. "Ares!" Gabrielle called out.
A sphere of white light surrounded the leather-clad god of war. "If you're summoning me," he started, "then there must be big problems." Lila stood behind Gabrielle, gasping at the sight of the muscular deity.
"Xena thinks she's Julius Caesar," Gabrielle stated, getting right to the point.
"Did the Furies do this?"
"No. It's a stupid Dionysian spell. He's dark, you're dark. I figure you'd know how to break it."
"What kind of spell is it?" Ares asked, gently caressing the dark hair that grew over his chin.
Joxer spoke up. "It makes you become what you hate. And she's about to crucify the whole town!"
"Joxer!" Gabrielle snapped. She only wanted Ares to know certain details.
"Interesting," he mused. "Some say she hates me," he said, looking right at Gabrielle. "But oh, no. She loves me. It's old Julius that she despises." He shrugged. "If Xena wants to kill this village, then I want a front row seat." His laughter remained a few moments after he disappeared.
"Just great, Joxer!" the bard moaned and slapped him hard across his scrawny arm.
#
Ares appeared on the outskirts of Potidea, where Xena was recruiting an army. "Join me or die!" she yelled.
"One thing's for sure," Ares stated, "Caesar never wore a tunic so well." He traced his finger along the curves of her torso.
"I am Caesar," she barked. "What do mean?"
Seeing her build an army was hot. The wild look in her eyes was even hotter. But not doing it as Xena made the tingle fizzle in Ares' loins. She was demented.
"All hail Caesar," the frightened men chanted. Xena's chest swelled with pride.
"I can't stand this," he huffed and waved his strong hand in the air. She fell to the ground.
Xena shook her head, the laurel golden crown fell sideways. She looked down at her clothes and up to the tiny army that surrounded her. Ares smiled down on her. "What in Tartarus do you think you're doing?" she growled. And why don't I remember anything?"
"Thank me later," he said and vaporized into the wind.
#
The costume party went off without a hitch. Joxer pranced around as a court jester. "Big stretch," Xena said to Gabrielle, who was dressed as the goddess of love. Lila, decided against the Ares costume and dressed as a Geisha from the Far East. Lila playfully got up in Xena's face. "Who do you like me better as Ares or a Geisha."
Xena stared at her powdered features. "You're gonna be the death of me. Move." She was tired of the party so she went to the back of the barn and sat on a block of hay. Ares walked around the corner.
"What?" Xena sassed, "no light show?"
"I like your costume," he said. She looked down at her normal attire. "Who are you dressed as?"
"A warrior princess," she said, fighting a smile. "Let me guess, you're a war god. You're costume's pretty good, too."
"You always did like it. But usually, you liked taking it off of me better."
She shuttered. "Thanks for saving me earlier. I can't believe I was telling people to hail to Rome."
Ares snickered. "Yes. Wonder why you didn't become me?"
"I don't hate you Ares."
"I know," he mumbled and sat down beside of her. Their mouths found each other quickly, the pulse of desire was strong. "If you ever need anything," he said with heavy breaths, "just call out and I'll come get you. No questions asked. We can have a night of passion and I'll bring you back."
"Promise?" she said, her heart fluttering.
"Promise," he said and he was gone once again, his musky scent still lingered in the autumn air.
Joxer hurried up to her. "Xena, sorry about spilling that trick-or-treat potion on you. Guess we found out which one it was, huh?"
"No, I think it's a little of both. Just the way I like it."
