A/N: This one was written in 2011 for the xf_is_love month at LiveJournal. It's basically five short chapters inspired by Foo Fighters songs (as the band themselves are fans, I thought this very appropriate). In the beginning of each chapter I'll give you the name of the song and the address to its video on YouTube (unfortunately links aren't allowed) so you can read while listening if you so wish! Of course you can just skip the music if it's not your cup of tea. Enjoy and please review even if you didn't!
1. All My Life on youtube: /watch?v=xQ04WbgI9rg
At the End of the Rope
He'd been waiting for quite some time for something to happen. He was losing his faith, and that had happened before, only that the earlier times had been different. He'd had someone to hold on to. Now he only had the blonde girls with big boobs on the video.
His days were filled with basically nothing. Mostly he just studied earlier cases, cases from back when the X files still had been even close to relevant, when J. Edgar himself had been involved. He didn't have much new cases, and even if he did, they usually had nothing to do with the paranormal. Well, he wouldn't have been allowed to investigate either way, since the new policy stated every agent must work in "pairs or groups of over three". And no one would be Spooky Mulder's pair. It was fucking kindergarten all over again.
Every once in a while, between trying to solve mysterious cases from the 1950's, Mulder was asked to do profiles on random criminals. If he did them well, he was sometimes rewarded with a new case he was unable to do research on. His work sucked.
The thought of Samantha kept him going. Every day was further away from her, but it still felt like he was getting closer and closer to the answer. He felt he was making progress just by living his life, yet he was completely stuck.
The night club Mulder visited about once a month was packed as always. He was good at one night stands – a short series of failed long term relationships had suggested that. He really felt nothing and yet both he and the girls were satisfied and everyone just moved on with their lives. Sure he sometimes wished he had a girlfriend, but he had started to suspect he wasn't quite the type to have a girlfriend. His bar was high anyways, he didn't believe he could find another believer. Ironically.
The girl put on her dress again. As she left she blew a kiss to Mulder who grinned back. He was glad she was gone now. He could concentrate on something else now. Like watching porn.
He damn well knew he was doing everything wrong but he didn't really care. He hoped by waiting things would change. Maybe they would. Something was holding him down but every day he was breaking loose – slowly and steadily, without acknowledging anything.
As soon as he saw Dana Scully he knew the change had come. She was like a breath of warm, fresh wind to the dungeon-like basement office. She was something he had been searching for. He had no idea why she had been sent to be his partner but he definitely didn't complain.
