Regardless of what Hermann has said, loudly and with great frequency, Newt has actually thought this Kaiju drift through to its fullest theoretical extent.
In Newt's opinion the reward of knowing what the Kaiju might be thinking or planning outweighs the risks. Hermann's scientific opinion is that there's no real data to support Newt's hypothesis and therefore his calculations of the risks can't be considered.
Hermann's personal opinion falls somewhere along the lines of "You can't prove you won't get yourself killed and I don't like that." Not that he's said that outright, but Newt considers himself an expert in reading between the lines when it comes to Hermann Gottlieb. He's had practice thanks to the fact that they've been married for almost as long as they've been working on the Jaeger project together.
So, Newt records two 'In case I die' videos while he's setting up his makeshift mind meld machine; the first designed to be watched by everyone on base who cares to see it or any researcher that might come after and want to know what he did. He includes a few faked digs at Hermann for posterity, because the fact that the majority of the base thinks they actually hate each other gives Newt a Lot of joy. He puts the link in the middle of his desktop so that it will be easy to find.
The second video is for Hermann. He starts with an apology, follows it up with a rambling list of all the ways and things Newt loves about him, and finishes with another apology and one last 'I love you'. He puts this one in the queue of his email it will arrive in Hermann's inbox three days from now unless he cancels it should he live.
Which honestly? He's really, really hoping for because life is great.
XXXXX
Hermann is reading for enjoyment for once and sipping tea when his email tone sounds from his laptop. He sighs and swings himself off the couch and moves to answer it, because the possibility of apocalyptic ending information outweighs pleasure reading every time. When he makes it to his computer and sees that Newton has sent him an email with a video attached he rolls his eyes.
"This is a new one, even for you Newton," he mutters to himself before opening the video, expecting some kind of rambling half apology that will later prompt a round of sex or an adult conversation. Hermann shifts his weight and frowns as a surprisingly still Newton appears and begins to speak.
"I'm sorry about this, the timing. I didn't know when would be too late or too soon, so I picked now. Listen don't turn me off I am sorry that you ended up being right about the calculations of risk with the mind meld. I mean provided you are right about that, but you'll only see this if I'm dead so." Hermann doesn't hear anything else on the video though it continues to play, because he takes off for the lab at his top speed as soon as the word 'dead' and the purpose of the video hit him.
He hasn't moved this fast in years, is almost certainly going to pay for it in pain tomorrow, but he doesn't care because he will endure months of physical pain if he can save Newton, save himself from the emotional anguish. He flies into the lab, practically wrenching the headset off Newton who is laying on the floor of the lab seizing. Hermann thinks he says something, something along the lines of 'what have you done?' but he can't really hear himself over the pounding fear and the voice in his heart saying Please Newton Please.
Newton opens his eyes and together they get him in a chair and Hermann uses all his anger as a crutch in the face of the relief that Newton is probably mostly fine as he goes and gets Marshall Pentecost.
XXXX
"How did you know to be in the lab?" Newt asks from where he's laying on a bed in the medical bay after Pentecost had given him Chau's information and Hermann had dragged him to medical over his protests.
"Your email," Hermann says shortly. Newt frowns at that.
"Huh. Guess I must have set the queue wrong. You weren't supposed to see that for three days." Hermann's hand fists his cane and he suddenly looks furious.
"Well it's a damn good thing I did isn't it? How else would I have managed to detach you from that ungodly abomination of machinery that you threw together out of garbage?"
"I had it set to release after a certain amount of time," Newt defends slightly dazed because of the mind meld and the fact that Hermann is displaying a whole new level of anger.
"And you've had great luck with them today, considering you accidentally sent me your suicide note three days early!" Hermann roars and it seems like the entire medical bay goes dead silent for a few long moments. Newt is too stunned to respond as Hermann slouches as most of the anger rushes out of him.
"Hermann I-"
"I would have most likely been the one to find you, looking to see why the hell you hadn't come to bed, did you consider that? Did you suppose that that video would make it better? That that video would have taken away the pain of your death? An apology and an I Love You and Hermann Gottlieb can carry on saving the world when his reason for saving it isn't there anymore?!" Hermann stops and presses the hand not clenching his cane to his eyes.
"Hermann, I had to try." Which is not entirely true and shitty to say, and Newt knows it, but it's also the only words he can formulate in response to his husband's highly uncharacteristic outbursts.
"No, you bloody well didn't. Or at least you didn't before I had had the chance to run a few theoretical numbers to determine the risks."
"The numbers would never have been good enough in my favour for you to agree," Newt says calmly because they both now that's true. "I needed to find something worth while."
"You did Newton. Six hours before the mind meld you postulated a brilliant theory that the Kaiju are clones at the basic DNA level. And then you tossed it away because I played up my side of our posterity, as you call it, too much." Newt sits straight up at that while Hermann rubs his eyes.
"It was not your fault. It would not have been your fault." Hermann looks at him sadly.
"Wouldn't it have? Aren't I supposed to support you?" He asked self deprecatingly. Newt lifts his hands and makes a grabby motion towards his husband who sighs deeply but gives Newt his free hand.
"Support? Yes, but also be critical of. If I wasn't so stubborn I probably would have listened to your relevant criticisms a little more," Newt says and plays with Hermann's fingers before he frowns slightly. "Wait I'm your reason for stopping the apocalypse?"
"Newton you are the love of my life, stubbornness or no. The good of humanity falls several rungs on the priority ladder below you," Hermann says with a rough chuckle. Newt beams at him.
"That might be like, the most romantic thing you've ever said to me. I should almost commit suicide more often." He's trying for humour, because that's what he's always trying for, but he gathers that it's too soon when Hermann flinches.
"Newton please I beg of you, Never Again."
"The almost suicide or the drift? Because unfortunately I already agreed and have planned to do another drift as soon as I can find a brain." Hermann sighs deeply in a fondly exasperated way.
"I'd prefer both, but mostly the former over the latter. Besides I'll be joining you on your next drift," Hermann says like he's proclaiming a fact. Newt start sputtering out something about danger and risks but falls silent under Hermann's judgemental raised eyebrow.
"I suppose it's the only way to determine to put an end to Tendo and I's debate about whether we are drift compatible," Newt muses and Hermann rolls his eyes.
"You are exasperating." Newt grins.
"I love you too." Hermann ducks down for a quick kiss before shifting his weight and rapping Newt on the ankle with his cane sharply.
"You are not forgiven."
"Message received and understood."
