When I first awoke, I noticed a familiar oddness.
Many people describe out of body experiences like floating, or hovering. Personally, mine had always had the great misfortune to include a spinning sensation, except it never felt like I was spinning, more like the celing was spinning, and I would slowly rise towards the twirling ceiling and it would get continually darker as I approached, all while while the room would go faster and faster.
Normally just before it went all dark I'd wake up in a fright and it would take a bit before I could settle back down to sleep.
Only this time it just kept going, except now I couldn't see shit, and my body didn't feel like it was there. Truth be told I was scared silly. This however passed after who knows how long. Spinning darkness makes a very poor reference for time. As I started to think.
The last thing I remembered was walking down a flight of stairs, and my foot misstep, and it blurred together but then I saw last step just in my vision. A brief flash of pain...Fuck I died didn't I.
God fucking damn it! Did I really fucking get taken out by a flight of stairs? I strained my memory against itself. A flash memory, warm liquid pooling around my face, A flash of the medics talking. "DoA...clean up...can." 'Oi! Stop fucking around, and fix me!' I had thought at the voices.
Apparently my brain has still been firing off those last few moments before the synapses finally gave out.
Even having a hospital next door wouldn't have saved me I don't think. Still, I have no memory of them trying to resurrect my ass so I'm going to blame them.
I died.
I feel like that entitles me to be unreasonable.
I suppose I spend a long time feeling depressed and sorry for myself, and the people I left behind. I would be greatly mislabeled, if i where ever qualified as socialite, but leaving them all behind still sucked.
Eventually It occurred to me that, given that I've died, and still have conscious thoughts, there is now an excellent chance some sort of afterlife exist. Therefore ill be able to see them all again. So while yea it sucks they are going to be sad, there is a very good chance ill be able to see them again sooner or later which really takes away from the guilt of leaving them behind. The knowledge that there is an afterlife is awesome by the way. That means I get to meet all the people who passed on before me. By all that is good and holy I hoped that there is some kind of censorship thing in the afterlife that keeps us from watching others during more...embarrassing moments, or I am going to be catching a shitload of flak.
Then again I'll be made fun of regardless, given I stumbled myself to death.
I gave a mental sigh. Well I can't do anything about it so I might as well not worry about it. The entire time this was all happening I was still tumbling though the void. If I could feel my stomach I'd likely of been motion sick by this point however not much I could do about it.
After a while I started to get annoyed, then angry, then furious, then I settled into a very very board.
Emotions take a lot out of you and I've had a very emotional day/minute/month. Very little time references where available at the moment.
THUD
'Ow?'
'OW!'
I hit something, to my tremendous glee. Wait I that didn't feel how it was supposed too. As I searched my surroundings I noticed something. I really didn't have a body anymore. I knew i was sorta incorpral and stuff, but i'm completely lacking in apendages. Thats fan-fucking-tastic. 'Congrats slacker, your afterlife is to be spent as a rock.'
I was just guessing at this point, but I was fairly certain I just meteor'd into the ground and was unharmed by it, and given I still no organs or limbs, I had to make a educated guess and so far it looked like I had reincarnated as a sentient rock.
To be perfectly frank, living as a sentient rock doesn't really have a lot of appeal, so i better start trying to do shit and hope for the best. After about an hour of trying everything including pleading, whining, and cursing, all mentally unfortunately. Progress was made.
While trying out literally everything to actually interact with my environment out I finally found something. It took a while to pinpoint where it the source again but once I did I knew I wouldn't every have to look hard again. I found what appeared to be a shard of warm light within myself. After mentally prodding it and not only finding I could interact with it, I also noted I was not exploding, which considering I had no clue whatsoever what I was doing I thought it was fantastic progress, drinks on me people!
No clue why it felt like I was getting burned, but it was something at least. Hey worst case scenario, I have spontaneous existence failure. Given the alternate was to exist as a rock forever, not a horribly tough choice and this way I can skip the whole go insane part before pulling the trigger anyways. Readying myself for one last moment of terrible terrible regret, I pushed it upwards.
PAIN
I stopped as quickly and as hard as I could. 'yea no pushing magic-soul-star-thingy into air then.'
After messing with it for who knows how long more, I finally gave up and decided that maybe I should push it downwards. The moment it touched the ground the effect was immediate.
I felt waves of feelings running all over my being, Pain, Pleasure, Hot, Cold, lots of nausea, before It finally settled in. and now paying attention to my senses I realized that I now had a body. I opened my new eyes for the first time, and saw the wide open sky, lit by a large red moon...
