I'm not quite sure what this is. Just a little insight into Hanna's mind, I guess. It's a bit muddled cause in this, it's setafter they find out Mona is A, but in this they don't know that yet. Get it?

- Caitlin

Why dd I let that bitch control me? Fill my head full of lies. Are you really gonna eat that? Han, you don't need that. That dress doesn't have much stretch. It looks better on me. Don't be silly! You'll always be Hefty Hanna. Why did I let her control me? She broke me like some sort of animal she house-trained. Why did I let her ruin me, and all my friends? I should have stood up for myself. Damn it, I should have stood up for Aria, and Emily, and Spencer! Spencer always tried to put Ali in her place. She always protected us from the worse lashes of Ali's tongue. But we never protected her. I never protected anyone.

And now it's happening again. It's happening again and it's worse, and it's not fair! That bitch A, whoever she is - and yes, I assume she is a she. No man would have the patience or co-ordination to pull this off. A knows us. She knows every single thing about us. She knows, yes. But if she weren't a girl, she would not know how to use this to her advantage. She can feel every single emotion passing through me as she steals yet another good thing in my life.

Now, I know. I know I have to protect all the people I love. Spence, Aria, Em. They all need protection, and I will give it to them. Just like they would for me. I know that we grew apart, but I owe A for bringing us back together and closer than ever. We have no secrets to hide anymore. Just for the record, Ali, secrets don't keep us close. They tear through us, ripping out every happy emotion, and they tear you to shreds before you know the whole story. I would fight to the death for those girls, and wouldn't regret it. I won't let A take them from me, like she's taken Ali. I will be forever grateful, for trying to steal that flag. I mean, if I hadn't, I'd still be Hefty Hanna with no friends. Now, I'm still just me. Hanna. But I have my friends and family.

I always imagined, even after her body was dug out of her own backyard, that she'd run through the doors and hug us all, laughing at our shocked faces. We'd cry and hug her and we'd all feel okay again. But Alison was never a true friend. She was my best friend, though, and I loved her half to death. She always said we'd be nothing without her, but I think Spence got it right. Really, Ali? Then tell me this. What is a leader, without any followers? Because it seems to me, that the question is not whether WE will exist without, but whether YOU would exist without US. She told me this awhile ago, and I still think of how Ali would react. Spencer never told me that. She simple shrugs and says "Not very well."

I would think about her too often, come to think of it. I still do. I can talk to the girls about her, but they don't know what I went through. Just like I don't know what they went through. Spencer. She lost almost everything this year, but she still finds a way to muddle through and tell us how it is. Aria has been my rock. She never loses faith in me, even if everyone else did. Emily, oh god, what a year she's had. Losing Maya just about killed her, and then Nate - or Lyndon - trying to hurt her and my Caleb.

Caleb. I do not know what I would do without my tech savvy boyfriend. He is there for me no matter what. I know he always will be. I can't talk to him about Alison or A. I don't want him getting hurt. I couldn't bear that. I'd die if I hurt him, albeit accidentally.

I like to imagine life in the future. When I thought of the future before, it was me and Ali in that beach house we'd dreamed about. I'd be pretty and skinny, and my skin would be flawless. Now? Well. Now, I can't see past A. I see myself as a grandma, reading my A texts on the newest iPhone, smiling sadly at my grand kids. I just can't do this anymore.

A. LEAVE ME ALONE. PLEASE. I feel like shouting this, all the time. LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE. HURT ME - NOT THEM. PLEASE.

Is idiot written in Sharpie on my forehead? I think it is, because I get treated so badly. People act as if I'm a criminal, too. I'm not in handcuffs. I seem to be at the police station more than my own home. And again, it's not fair! I can't help but hate Ali for leaving us this.

Mom, I'm sorry you can't see my phone. I'm so sorry, Mommy, that I'm not your little Hankins anymore, that you can't sit me on your knee and kiss my cheek and make everything better. Dad, I'm sorry that I'm not your little angel. I'm sorry Kate is better than me at this whole perfect daughter thing. Daddy, I'm sorry that you don't love me and Mom anymore.

But most of all? I'm sorry, Alison, that you can't control us anymore. I'm so sorry, Ali, that we aren't your puppets anymore. I will not be on strings anymore.

This is the end. I will not stand for this anymore. I'm cutting my strings and I'm gonna be me, damn it! Maybe you'll be here for me, when I return.

I'm letting you go now. I love you, still, even if I hate you at the same time.

Goodbye, Alison DiLaurentis,

and Goodbye, A.