She wasn't planning on coming back for Christmas originally. Her dads had suggested visiting her in New York City this year instead, and she had already planned out a New York City Christmas Extravaganza with her family. But there was always this nagging thought in the back of her mind, something that told her she owed it to him to spend the holidays back here, back home. With her family, where she was born and where she grew up. With him, so he wouldn't be lonely.
Of course, there would be Carol, and Kurt, and Burt, but she somehow just knew that he would want her to be here with him. Of course he would – Christmas was one of the most important holidays for him, although they've had their ups and downs through the seasons.
So, she came back. Her dads were surprised when she just showed up on their front door one day without any warning, but of course they were delighted that she decided to come home. Kurt had already been home for a couple of days, and eventually even Santana came back to be with her family over the holidays. And then of course there was a huge Glee Club reunion, and almost everyone made it back for the supposed Most Wonderful Time of the Year. But it had only been 3 months since that event, and no one could really erase it from his or her mind, no matter how joyous the season should be. Mr. Schuster looked sullen and sad, as much as he tried to put on a brave face for his students. Kurt and Santana had never been the same since that event (she suspected that she wasn't either, no matter how much she tried to cope and deal and ultimately bury her feelings), and Christmas would never be the same again. Not without him.
Which is why she was here right now, standing all alone in this cemetery staring at a headstone that still seemed surreal to her.
Finn Hudson
Beloved son, brother, and leader
1994-2013
The tears started streaming freely and unknowingly down her cheek, leaving hot trails that quickly froze over in the cold winter air. As the snow started to fall around her, Rachel was reminded of all their Christmases together (or apart, depending on their status at the time) – picking out trees, exchanging gifts, serenading each other with Christmas songs – and smiled. Her life would never be the same again, but she knew that it was better than it ever could have been because he was there for a time, with her, no matter how short that time was. And he would always stay with her, regardless of who or what the future brings. She knows that he would have wanted her to move on, to be happy and carry on with her life. And one day she knows that she will. One day, one Christmas, there will be another boy who she loves and who loves her, and it will once again be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.
This Christmas though, all she wanted was him. So she was content to just sit there with him in that deserted cemetery, wiping down his grave from the snow and soaking in his presence, celebrating Christmas one last time with him. She hoped that he could hear her whispered words of love, that the winter wind would carry her words to somewhere he rested, a place where he could hear them loud and clear.
I'm here with you. I love you. I always will.
"Merry Christmas, Finn."
