A/N: Oka, I just had to make another Twilight Fic. This time it is based off of a line Bella says in Eclipse, Chapter six, when Edward pays Alice to kidnap Bella.
Normal disclaimers apply. And heads up, I suck at spelling and grammar. No matter how much I apply myself, it never stuck. So if you see any mistakes, please ignore them. Thank you.
If you have read my other Twilight story,Las Vegas, this is NOT related to it in any way. This is just another "What if...?"
Enjoy!
BPOV
"You are in trouble." I said slowly, emphasizing each word. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzlys are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home." I snapped the phone shut and glared at Alice. "I am going to sleep. And for the record Alice, I am going to make your brother beg for my forgiveness." I tossed her the phone, grabbed my jacket from the couch and stormed up the stairs. How dare that idiotic man think that he can just come back after leaving me and make all my decisions for me?! Ooooooh he is going to get it later.
EPOV
I had just killed a mountain lion, my thirst was slowly being quenched and Bella was with Alice, so I was in a good mood. I decided to take a break from hunting and check my phone. 'Hm, missed call.' A sense of dread filled me as I listened to Bella's message. Jasper must have sensed it because he was next to him in a split second.
"What's wrong? What happened?" I said nothing as I played the message back for him. Now I normally am not one for cursing, but I feel like I am in deep shit right now.
BPOV
I was seething as I paced around Edward's room. If he thinks that he is getting off lightly...oh he has another thing coming. I am so pissed off right now that I actually want to take a sledge hammer to his Volvo and that damn Porsche. But I wouldn't do that to Alice, she's the little evil pixie that nobody can ever say no to. Edward on the other hand...where is that damn sledge hammer!
Knock knock.
"Unless you have a sledge hammer in your hands Alice, I suggest kindly that you not disturb me for the rest of the night."
There were no more knockings. Now where was I, oh yes...Edward...grrrrr...
I sit down on the couch and completely ignore the huge bed in front of me. I look at his desk and spot a note pad and a pen...hmmm... perfect... now... all I need is that damn sledge hammer next to me...
I got up and started to write him a short note.
APOV
Bella is mad. Bella is mad. Bella is soo mad.
I decided to go and talk to her a few minutes ago…that didn't go over to well. What would she need a sledge hammer for? I sat on one of the couches in the living room and decided to gaze into what tomorrow holds for us.
I fell off the couch... if I could cry I would. I grabbed my cell and dialed Ed's number. "Pick up pick up pick up pick up. Edward get home now!" I didn't bother to explain…which I probably should have seeing as how my brother is known to freak out when it comes to me or Bella. Ooops. Oh! Hubby's calling! "Hey Hubby, what's up?"
JPOV
I watched Edward stare at his phone then run off at vampire speed back to what I am guessing the house. I grabbed my phone while chasing after him and trying to calm him down at the same time I call my wife to see just what the hell is going on.
"Hey Hubby, what's up?"
I had to stop myself from crashing into a tree. "What's up?! You giving Edward a heart attack…if possible, is what's up! What the hell is going on Ali?"
I keep running as I listen to her explain what happened over the past two hours.. "Ah, so that's why Bella is mad at our Eddie. Tsk Tsk, Em and I are going to have to teach him that women are the ones that control the relationships not us men. And for being 108 you'd think he'd lighten up a little." I smiled as I heard my love laugh on the other line. I broke through the tree line and sighed, "Babe, gotta call you back, Dumbass-of-the-Year is being held back by Emmett and Carlisle." I hung up and, in a move that was uncommon for me to use, I went up to my idiot of a brother and smacked him, hard upside the head.
Edward hissed at me while the other two looked at me in question. I just glared at Ed and said, "Get you head out of your ass. That was a stupid movie tricking her like you did. If she rips into you when we get home, I will be the first to hold you down to that seat and make you take it like a man. A mate listens to their mate. I have a feeling you haven't been doing that a lot lately. Now, Alice says everything is fine, she just freaked out because she couldn't see Bella's future tomorrow. I told her not to worry and that she might just skip school to hang out with her friends from the Rez. SHUT UP EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN I AM TALKING! Thank you. Now you will finish hunting like a good Vampire and then get back home so that you can beg sweet forgiveness from your lady, if she is ready to that is. I, however, am done hunting so I will head back and keep them company. If you show up before 7:30 am tomorrow Ed, I will take Ali's Porsche away from her. You don't want her to be sad now do you? Goodbye everyone." I nodded to everyone and sped off back home.
Yeah, like Alice would ever let me take those keys away from her.
EPOV
I was running, I didn't pay attention and I accidentally ran into Carlisle. He caught me before I could speed off again. I barley heard him call Emmett for backup. I guess I was struggling to get free. They each had a good hold on me, Carlisle sensed something was wrong and was about to ask when Jasper appeared through the trees. Who you calling Dumbass? He looks pissed. Ow! Why did Jazz just hit my head? Oh great..lecture time..Gulp...I really haven't been listening to Bella lately...crrrrap.. so that was Alice' vision..grrrrrrRRRRRRRRR-did he just yell at me?! Jasper never yells at anyone! Now I feel like I have a wounded puppy dog look on my face... of course I will be a good Vampire and finish my meal... what do you take me for, an anorexic vampire? A curfew? Did you seriously just? Oh come on! I would expect that from Carlisle but not you! And Alice would never let you take her keys away. Ha! Take that.
I looked up and saw Carlisle and Emmett looking at me, well Carlisle looked disappointed and was shielding his thoughts. Emmett looked...giddy? This I have to see...
Eddy's getting his ass kicked! Eddy's getting his ass kicked! Eddy's getting his ass kicked!
...or maybe not.. I glared at him. "Don't call me Eddy and I am not getting my ass kicked." He just shrugged, "It's my mind and I will say whatever that hell I want to say. If you don't like it then stay out of it Brother-Who-Can't-Keep-His-Mate-Happy."
Low blow there dude, low blow. Thanks Em, make me feel more like a jerk then I already do. I just sighed and sat down on a boulder for a second then flopped onto my back and stared up at the stars. A gorgeous night...a pissed of girlfriend.. great.
BPOV.
I looked at my note that I left for Edward. It started off being short then I just started ranting. I decided to throw that note away and finally after an hour settled for a note that said:
"Edward,
DO NOT TOUCH ME! I AM PISSED OFF AND WILL TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK.
YOU. BETTER. LISTEN. OR YOUR VOLVO AND/OR VANQUISH WILL BE NO MORE. GOT IT?
Goodnight/ Good morning
Love you,
Bella
PS: I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT THE WHOLE NOT TOUCHING.
Yup, that sounds good to me. I grabbed a pillow and the comforter from the bed along with the note. I placed the note right by my head on the floor and curled up on the couch. The next thing I know is that I am out like a light.
JPOV.
It's four am when I got home. My beautiful wife is sitting on the couch and...seems to be staring into space. She doesn't even seem to realize that I am here. She is shaking. Oh...she's 'seeing' something. I quickly grabbed a sketch pad from Em's and Rose's room. Who knew Em was an artist? I didn't. You learn something new every decade. OH! Ali!
I put the sketch pad under her hand and was confused as she sketched out a picture. I recognized Edward, Bella, and his Volvo...why is Bella holding a sledge hammer. I looked over, Alice is drawing a similar picture...this time it holds the Vanquish...she still has that sledge hammer. I looked over and Alice seemed hesitant while drawing the third one, knowing not to interrupt while she has a vision, I study the two pictures. Hmm.. looks like Bella is threatening the cars... that'll earn you brownie points with Rosalie...not.
I glanced over at the almost complete third picture and had to do a double take. Holy shit! This one I most defiantly favor more than these two. The third one showed Eddie and Bella making out on his bed with him on top of her with his hand up her shirt and the other one on her ass pressing her closer to him.
Hmm.. is it weird that seeing that is kind of making me want my wife right now? FOCUS JASPER HALE CULLEN. Okay... well, glad to know little brother will finally be getting some action after a century. Bout time he pops his cherry. Oh man! I am starting to sound like Emmett. Note to self Jasper: Kill Emmett when he gets home. And hide the picture from him. That'll make it open season on little Eddie.
"Jasper! When did you get home!"
Ah, the sweet sound of my wife. I am so whipped. But I enjoy every single second of it.
I smiled at her and pulled her into my arms before kissing her tenderly. "Right as you got sucked it your visions. I personally vote for option three if it ends up like that." I pointed to the picture.
Alice, still pressed up against me, not complaining one bit here, turned to look at the pictures at sighed. "The first two I see happening if he doesn't listen. The third I see happening sometime down the road...don't know if it's soon or not."
I kissed her and said, "As long as it happens. I talked, well lectured him before I left. He is not to set foot in this house until 7:30. If he does, I take your Porsche keys. You do know you need to hide that photo from Em right? Complete blackmail on Ed. And Bella smashing the cars? Rosalie will go postal on her."
She glared at me when I told her about the keys. I chuckled and kissed her brow. "Like you would ever let me take them babe. You want to check on Bella or should I?"
"She's sound asleep."
"Yes but I want to see why she has a sledge hammer and if we need to hide them from her. If only for her safety and not the cars." My beautiful wife chuckled and pulled away from my arms. I actually whimpered.
She kissed my cheek. "Go check on her, it's close to six I have a feeling that it is going to be a long day."
I kissed her again before going up the stairs and opening up the door to Edward's room. I looked in and chuckled before pulling out my phone and texting Edward.
....ooo...not good little bro… your girl has a ...lovely... note for you to read when you get home and is also asleep on your couch. Guess she didn't want the bed after all. ~ Jasper
I leaned against the bedpost and stared at the note while waiting for a reply. That's why Ali saw the Volvo and Vanquish being hammered. I need to gather all sledge hammers..BEEP. Oops. need to put it on silent.
What do you mean by 'lovely'? 'Not good'? Asleep on the couch? Why not the bed? Jazz! ...Help. :-(
~Edward
Not fair, my little brother sounds so helpless and is actually asking for help. I wanted to milk this some more... I was about to text him the ending to the note to give him some piece of mind when my phone beeped again.
What did you send your brother Jasper Hale Cullen? He is flipping out over here. Carlisle and Rosalie are holding him down while Emmet is actually sitting on his chest. Now tell me what is going on or so help when I get home Mister, I don't care if you are older than me I will ground you."
Hehe mom got involved…crap. Okay. Not going to text the conversation out... I hit the call button and she picked up on the first ring. "Hi mom so here's what's going on..."
EPOV
7:30 on the dot I ran thru the doors of the house and up to my room. I entered my room. Indeed there on my couch was my girlfriend, sleeping peacefully. Why did she not sleep on the bed? Surely it would have been more comfortable than that. I move toward her slowly and bent down to pick her up when I remember Jazz saying something about a note. I found it next to her.
...along with two pictures and a short note from Alice saying that Bella would go thru with the threat if I did not listen to her. I sighed and picked up the note along with the pictures. Knowing Bella, the first thing she's going to do is fall of the couch so I grabbed the other pillows and laid them out when I predicted she was going to fall. I sat on the foot of the bed and watched her. How I wished I could touch her, hold her like I normally do at night. Her breathing picked up.
BPOV
I yawned, stretched, and promptly fell off the couch. I heard a small chuckle. I looked up from the floor and saw Edward sitting on the bed looking down at me with a small smile on his face. I gave him a weak smile before rightening myself. He made a motion as if to help me up then pulled back. I was confused. Why would he do that? Normally he's all over trying to help me up when I fall.
"Your note told me not to touch you." he said in a quiet voice with hurt eyes.
Oh yeah...the note... Yesterday...hostage... Still pissed...
I got up and walked over to my bag, and grabbed my bathroom stuff. On my way past him, he still had his head bowed. I kissed the crown of his head and walked to the door. "Doesn't mean I forgive you Edward. Still downright pissed. But at least you respected my wishes not to be touched. That means a lot." I closed the door to the bathroom and went about my morning rituals.
When I got back to the room he was still there, granted he had changed and I guess stole somebody else's shower for the four minutes I was using his bathroom. He walked up to me and kissed my cheek before closing the bedroom door behind him so I could change.
Since I had slept in the clothes I wore yesterday I didn't know what Alice had packed me. Two seconds later…"AAAAALIIIICCCEEE! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PACK ME!?" In my hands was a skimpy black lacy top with a matching black thong...there is also a matching red set and a blue set...no normal clothes..
Oh...forget the Volvo or Vanquish…
APOV
Everyone stared at me when Bella yelled. I just gave Edward a sly grin. Then a vision hit me.
"BELLA! PLEASE NO!" I yelled to her as I saw her storming down the stairs toward the garage. Edward was chuckling while everyone was confused. "BELLLAAA! NOT MY PORSCHE!"
She walked back inside and held a sledge hammer in her hands. Where did she find that? I thought Jasper hid all of them this morning."You have hereby lost all rights to pick out my clothes for me. Since there won't be a next 'hostage' time you won't have to pick out my clothes. I am not a damn Barbie doll. You didn't even pack me clothes! That's fucking lingerie! When would I ever wear that huh? If there is ever a situation to where you have to pick out my clothes, stick to jeans, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes. If you ever comeback with anything other than that Alice, your Porsche will have one less mirror. Do you understand me?"
I just nodded and curled up in to Jasper while everyone just gasped and stared at Bella.
